# Only Good? I need women's opinions please! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2020, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480 "2020-10-08T09:47:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2020, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480/41 "2020-10-13T13:53:34Z")
> [@thescrr](#): > > I’m not gonna pursue her. I don’t think anything is there now. Does that mean you’re not going to try to be friends with her either? I’d hope you can get to know someone even if it’s not romantic. Or is it “I want you as a girlfriend or as a stranger” with her? ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2020, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480/42 "2020-10-13T18:58:38Z")
Are women not attracted to you? This one easy trick is the only solution you need to know! To attract women, be more attractive! What do I mean? Obviously looks and presentation are a part of attraction, but more importantly you need to be interesting. For now, stop looking outwards and look inwards. What hobbies do you have or want to pick up? Check out [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) to see what’s happening near you and sign up for events that pique your interest (granted, that’s better advice when there’s not a pandemic but I’m sure there are still things you can find). Don’t just attend the events but actively participate in them. Then, share those things with other people. If you find you like to cook then have some people over for dinner. If you like to bike ride or hike, then host some bike rides or hikes. If you like board games, then set up some game nights and invite friends over or a common location. What you want to do is create a buzz about you. When people spend time around you they’ll talk about you and what a neat guy you are. Before long you’ll have people seeking you out if they share similar interests and some of those people seeking you out will be girls. And _those_ girls will let you know they like you without you having to analyze who waved at who first or if a silly joke is a sign of something deeper. Trust me on this, if you build yourself up they will come. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2020, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480/43 "2020-10-13T19:12:16Z")
Were I in that situation, I would have intended that reply to your compliment as a humorous shot and nothing more. Not knowing her personality, I can’t render anything more than a guess, but my guess is that she meant it that way also. Telling a woman that she is attractive, even in polite terms, can be uncomfortable. A humorous reply, especially if it can produce a laugh, defuses that possibility quite nicely. The moral: Don’t overthink these things. Not only can you drive yourself crazy doing so but, if you reach the wrong conclusion, it can be embarrassing for everyone concerned. If you like her, just strike up a conversation and get to know her better. See how it plays out. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2020, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480/44 "2020-10-13T21:18:46Z")
Continue being friendly. You could end up with a valuable friend. You could end up with a life partner, but for many of us women, it’s being friends first that really counts. That said, @Frazzled gives great advice. I once went on a blind date with a guy who said to his friend, “All she talked about is cars.” So, I learned something valuable there. I have other interests but guys are so amazed to hear me talk about cars that it had become a trope. Next blind date went much better. Even though we didn’t make a couple, I did find a friend. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2020, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480/45 "2020-10-14T00:33:07Z")
> [@Frazzled](#): > > Are women not attracted to you? This one easy trick is the only solution you need to know! To attract women, be more attractive! That’s half of it. The other half is: women are people. Individual people. There is no magic cheat sheet that will attract generic women to you, because there are no generic women all attracted to the same thing. ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2020, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480/46 "2020-10-14T17:20:30Z")
That’s what I thought I was saying in my advice. Participate in activities you’re interested in to be with like minded people. There is no generic catch-all on either side of the romantic equation, but putting like minded people together in a room greatly improves chances of a match. ---
**Author:** ![thorny\_locust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thorny_locust/32/431_2.png) [@thorny\_locust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thorny_locust)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2020, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480/47 "2020-10-14T18:36:05Z")
> [@Frazzled](#): > > That’s what I thought I was saying in my advice. I suspected that; but wasn’t sure that thescrr would read that in your post. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2020, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480/48 "2020-10-14T19:26:08Z")
I have never remarked on a woman’s appearance at work. Even the ones I think are cute… well, especially them. The closest I’ve come is to say “New glasses, those are great! Say, what’s with Chris, he’s upset about something…” or “Hey, cool haircut. So, are you going to that presentation this afternoon?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-good-i-need-womens-opinions-please/922480.md?page=2)