# Only ten timeouts today, Straight Dope! Well done! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2007, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840 "2007-07-15T08:06:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/81 "2007-07-16T16:27:50Z")
[QUOTE=Dominic Mulligan] It’s hyperbole, for humourous effect. I doubt the guy’s serious, just perhaps pissed off that, despite paying a subscription fee, the board’s performance is still pretty bad.\ [/quote] See, that’s part of why we aren’t taking his complaint very seriously (aside from being a bunch of stupid cunts, of course) - it’s not like it magically became slow and time-outy the day he paid his money. If he guested for a month, he must have known that time-outs and slow-downs are part of the…let’s call it charm of this place. > [@](#): > > I don’t think it explains my problems. Days at a time I’ll have timeouts, then it will go back to normal. As I said, the last three or four days have been painfully slow. The last thing I want is to become an apologist for why the boards run the way they run. I don’t know why they do what they do; I just know that it doesn’t ruin my life when they don’t co-operate with me. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/82 "2007-07-16T16:33:58Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > At 3:56 EDT, US, there were: 390 Users Online (190 members and 200 guests) But does that include people who are logged in and away from the computer, or not reading the Dope? I rarely have to log in, but much of the time I’m not on the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/83 "2007-07-16T16:42:47Z")
Repeatedly call for the board to be sued? Dump the dodo. ---
**Author:** ![Small\_British\_Shop\_Owner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Small\_British\_Shop\_Owner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_British_Shop_Owner)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/84 "2007-07-16T17:17:59Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] See, that’s part of why we aren’t taking his complaint very seriously (aside from being a bunch of stupid cunts, of course) - it’s not like it magically became slow and time-outy the day he paid his money. If he guested for a month, he must have known that time-outs and slow-downs are part of the…let’s call it charm of this place. [/QUOTE] Although another feature is constant promises of new features and a faster board, which afaik have never happened, with the excepetion of the google adverts. Personally I would refund this guy the remainder of his fee and then block him. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/85 "2007-07-16T18:45:37Z")
Zakalwe: > [@](#): > > Okay, then what is the problem? This board was unusable for a significant period of time Friday night (at least for me) while every other site I went to worked fine. > > So what’s the problem and the fix? Fix: become a Sabbath-Observant Jew. You’ll never again experience an internet time-out on Friday night. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/86 "2007-07-16T19:03:53Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Carrot] But does that include people who are logged in and away from the computer, or not reading the Dope? I rarely have to log in, but much of the time I’m not on the Dope. [/QUOTE] There’s a timeout, if no activity is detected your session is ended. When you come back and start new activity, a new session starts up. No idea what that length of time is for this board. The boards have gotten faster with the new server, and I rarely see any problems, maybe once or twice a week for a short period of time. The OP is getting annoying and anyone repeatedly suggesting lawsuits would be out on his ass, if I were elected philosopher-king. I’d have to run as a write-in, alas. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/87 "2007-07-16T19:10:28Z")
Whatever shall we do if **Johnny Dildo** were to go? ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/88 "2007-07-16T19:10:54Z")
[QUOTE=Small British Shop Owner] Although another feature is constant promises of new features and a faster board, which afaik have never happened, with the excepetion of the google adverts. [/QUOTE] We can now edit our posts. And, while I still get time-outs a couple of times a week, it’s a VAST improvement over how sketchy the board used to be. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/89 "2007-07-16T19:11:13Z")
[QUOTE=Small British Shop Owner] Although another feature is constant promises of new features and a faster board, which afaik have never happened, with the excepetion of the google adverts. Personally I would refund this guy the remainder of his fee and then block him. [/QUOTE] I don’t know if the promises of new features and a faster board count, since no one believes anyone who makes those promises. 😃 ETA: Oh yeah, we did get the edit feature. Hmm. Kinda stepping on my own point here. Okay, no one believes anyone who says the boards will be faster and more reliable! How about that? ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/90 "2007-07-16T19:22:15Z")
[QUOTE=Orual] We can now edit our posts. And, while I still get time-outs a couple of times a week, it’s a VAST improvement over how sketchy the board used to be. [/QUOTE] And we have PMs, which are terrific. There’s a board I used to frequent whose only redeeming feature (to me) was the ability to PM other members. ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/91 "2007-07-16T19:28:01Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] And we have **PMs** , which are terrific. [/QUOTE] – highlights mine. Like hell you say! Never had them and never will. And from what I’ve seen and read, they are anything but “terrific”! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/92 "2007-07-16T19:32:38Z")
[QUOTE=RedFury] – highlights mine. Like hell you say! Never had them and never will. And from what I’ve seen and read, they are anything but “terrific”! [/QUOTE] Um, do what? ETA: Har har. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/93 "2007-07-16T19:59:35Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher] Should that site be busy, please feel free to read from these [three](http://www.dougcraftfineart.com/Artimages/EarlyCollagesandPaintings/EarlyScrewball.jpg) [mirror](http://www.businessweek.com/autos/autobeat/archives/crackpot.gif) [sites.](http://www.cityfujisawa.ne.jp/~katsurou/mystery/lorac/bats.jpg) [/QUOTE] Hey - that first link of yours was _really_ slow loading. I’m suing!!! **Johnny** , I’m sorry that the “years” you’ve been a member of the board (I suppose 1/4 of a year could be called “years” in your universe) have been unsatisfactory. Yes, SDMB has timeouts. It happens on every computer I use, from every location I’ve used. Live with it. Go elsewhere for five minutes. Take a bathroom break. Grab a drink out of the fridge. Feed the capybaras. Practice your kitten juggling. Look up an urban legend. Surf pictures of naked Disney cartoons. Send in your donation to the League of Litigious Whiners. Bench press a gavial. Then come back and continue with the SDMB. Or better yet, don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/94 "2007-07-16T20:09:02Z")
[QUOTE=Hentor the Barbarian] Whatever shall we do if **Johnny Dildo** were to go? [/QUOTE] Do like we did before he was here – masturbate like motherfucks. ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/95 "2007-07-16T20:31:45Z")
I just had like a 5 minute time out. Anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/96 "2007-07-16T20:33:59Z")
I have to agree that the SDMB is pretty terrible in this respect. I sign on most days, do a lot of reading and a little posting. It’s noticeably laggy as often as not, and maybe 10% of the time a thread will time out completely. I’ve accessed the Dope from multiple computers and internet connections and it’s always the same story. Every website lags or times out once in a while, but I’ve never used another site where the problems were as severe or as constant as they are here. But you know what, I like the people here and I want to read what they have to say, and I haven’t yet found another board that was as consistently enlightening and entertaining. Part of me hates paying anything for a product that is so shoddy in this one respect, but $15/year isn’t very much and the pros outweight the cons. I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest in the hopes that somebody in charge is listening, and actually cares about providing excellent service, rather than just the minimum of service that will prevent me from not renewing next year. And wouldn’t you know it, as I tried to preview this post, the page took five minutes to load. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![DudleyGarrett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DudleyGarrett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DudleyGarrett)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/97 "2007-07-16T20:35:59Z")
[QUOTE=Autumn Almanac] I have to agree that the SDMB is pretty terrible in this respect. I sign on most days, do a lot of reading and a little posting. It’s noticeably laggy as often as not, and maybe 10% of the time a thread will time out completely. I’ve accessed the Dope from multiple computers and internet connections and it’s always the same story. Every website lags or times out once in a while, but I’ve never used another site where the problems were as severe or as constant as they are here. But you know what, I like the people here and I want to read what they have to say, and I haven’t yet found another board that was as consistently enlightening and entertaining. Part of me hates paying anything for a product that is so shoddy in this one respect, but $15/year isn’t very much and the pros outweight the cons. I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest in the hopes that somebody in charge is listening, and actually cares about providing excellent service, rather than just the minimum of service that will prevent me from not renewing next year. And wouldn’t you know it, as I tried to preview this post, the page took five minutes to load. ☹ [/QUOTE] Agreed. I spent $15 on a mediocre burger, fries, and a beer last night. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/98 "2007-07-16T20:48:31Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] I just had like a 5 minute time out. Anyone else? [/QUOTE] Same here, and it seems to me that more appear when trying to post, those timeouts are very rare for me to see when just reading threads. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/99 "2007-07-16T22:13:01Z")
[QUOTE=Alessan] Seriously. If some Reader lawyer sees this thread, he may suggest doing just that. Admins: ban this fucker, and erase all his posts. Make it like he never existed. Nuke him from orbit. You know why. [/QUOTE] And give him his money back to send him along. Heck, I’ll fund that myself. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2007, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840/100 "2007-07-16T22:20:15Z")
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett] I just had like a 5 minute time out. Anyone else? [/QUOTE] At 2:19pm MST, the SDMB stopped responding to me at all. Just timeouts. Roughly 5 minutes later, it started responding slooooooowly. At 2:31, all was well, and the hamsters seem to be on double rations at the moment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/only-ten-timeouts-today-straight-dope-well-done/411840.md?page=6)