# ONOZ! Statues Haz Boobies! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 16, 2008, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098 "2008-06-16T13:00:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/21 "2008-06-17T21:23:04Z")
Then, once you’ve married someone else, you can marry Johnny Football Hero again! And wash your hair at least once every two weeks! Once every two weeks! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/22 "2008-06-18T05:35:26Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] I for one am intrigued by his idea of term limits on spouses and would like to subscribe to his newsletter. I like the idea of being required to change spouses every few years. I think society would be a lot more interesting. [/QUOTE] I think maybe you missed the part of his campaign that involves less boobies. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/23 "2008-06-18T05:43:52Z")
[QUOTE=Ludovic] Probably the hokey pokey. [/QUOTE] _You keep your left breast in, you take your left breast out, you take your right breast out, and you shake them all about. You do the boobie pokey 'til you turn his mind around That’s what it’s all about._😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/24 "2008-06-18T10:50:26Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] I think maybe you missed the part of his campaign that involves less boobies. [/QUOTE] They will have to pry my many spouses’ boobies out of my cold dead hands. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/25 "2008-06-18T18:43:41Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] I’d love to take him to the V & A or the British museum or Louvre. What a tool. [/QUOTE] Let’s not give him any ideas. Full-frontal male nudity is one of my reasons for living… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/26 "2008-06-18T18:47:20Z")
[QUOTE=hotflungwok] He needs an archenemy. Someone who crusades for _more_ nudity in public. [/QUOTE] An archenemy? Hummmmm… Let me think. How about “Lex Looky-here!”? [QUOTE=hotflungwok] He could even hand out literature on the subject. [/QUOTE] Which might be helpful in annoying our SuperPrude lad. But we’d be assuming that “Boob Hurtzmee” here can read. 😉 - TBJ ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/27 "2008-06-18T18:51:24Z")
[QUOTE=ShadowFacts] Ooh, ooh - I volunteer! You can call me: BOOBIEMAN! I bet my literature will get read more than his… [/QUOTE] Oooops! Sorry. I was looking for responses to HFW’s post before making my own rsponse but I missed yours. ☹ - TBJ ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/28 "2008-06-19T20:15:23Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] What? Spouses can’t stay married more than 8 years? [/QUOTE] I would love temportary marriage- I hear there are some Universal Life ministers at Portland’s Voodoo Donuts who will perform non-binding one-year marriages… But all joking aside, I actually didn’t get what it was about at first- on re-reading, is he trying to say that Hillary can’t be president because Bill already was for 8 years? ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/29 "2008-06-19T20:50:44Z")
[QUOTE=The Scrivener] Let’s not give him any ideas. Full-frontal male nudity is one of my reasons for living… 😃 [/QUOTE] Oh lordy does this bring back memories. Many, many years ago, I used to moderate a soap opera message board for As the World Turns. There was a character named David Stenbeck who had a following that liked to refer to him as “The David”. One day I get an email from the Sr. Administrator who was over all the individual moderators, with the subject line: > [@](#): > > URGENT - Full-frontal male nudity posted on ATWT board!!! She was in full-on freak-out mode. Someone had posted a picture of a NUDE MALE on the boards. OGM, this is TACKY and DISGUSTING!!! I’m told this has to be removed in my nightly sweep of the boards and warnings are to be posted. So I go check out the thread and find [this](http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/09/01/david_narrowweb__200x378.jpg). :rolleyes: No amount of explaining that this was an image of a _statue_ and not really a “nude male” would sway her. I took it down, with a polite explanation, but I still laugh at her behind her back whenever I think about this incident. ---
**Author:** ![goodie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@goodie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goodie)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/30 "2008-06-19T21:11:29Z")
I loves me some nude statues, but what is the deal on how many breasts are exposed again? Was it one for valor and two for honesty? I’m sure I read somewhere that how many were shown had some character significance. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/31 "2008-06-19T21:33:33Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] They will have to pry my many spouses’ boobies out of my cold dead hands. [/QUOTE] Remember! The plural of ‘spouse’ is ‘spice’! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Pollux\_Oil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Pollux\_Oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pollux_Oil)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/32 "2008-06-19T22:10:39Z")
This reminds me of the time when I was about 11 or 12 years old I suppose and I went on a class field trip to the National Art Museum. I was looking at one of the aforementioned boobie-baring statues and another girl in my class made a loud observation “Ewww, he’s staring at her boobs, what a pervert!” Before I could comment, her friend said “It’s only a statue, seriously!” I liked her friend a lot more than her in that moment. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/33 "2008-06-19T22:27:48Z")
But you really were staring at her boobs, right? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/34 "2008-06-19T22:33:39Z")
[QUOTE=goodie] I loves me some nude statues, but what is the deal on how many breasts are exposed again? Was it one for valor and two for honesty? I’m sure I read somewhere that how many were shown had some character significance. [/QUOTE] What about six? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2008, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/35 "2008-06-19T23:29:16Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] What? Spouses can’t stay married more than 8 years? I figure, at the National Gallery, he meticulously counted the artworks. Then he counted the boobies, dividing by two. [/QUOTE] I’m sure he had to stare at the boobies for a very long time to make absolutely sure that they were boobies, and that he didn’t miscount. He then went home to his bunk, to mentally go over the boobies that he had seen in his mind and make quite sure that they were boobies and that he hadn’t miscounted. In private. He was able to confirm that he had been exposed to boobies by the reaction of certain shameful parts of his anatomy and was forced to do something his mother told him not to do, to expunge the image of boobies from his mind. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/36 "2008-06-20T01:23:52Z")
[QUOTE=Wile E] The current administration has been saying for years now that we’re all about Freedom and Liberty. Of course, he keeps using those words and I don’t think they mean what he thinks they mean. [/QUOTE] One good _Princess Bride_ reference deserves another. There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. The Smithsonian should be archiving them! How about a Million Boob Gawk? **danceswithcats** : You owe me a new keyboard. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/37 "2008-06-20T01:41:09Z")
[QUOTE=Ellen Cherry] From the linked article: I wonder what he does think our country is about. [/QUOTE] Especially considering that [Lady Godiva](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Godiva) was a tax protestor. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/38 "2008-06-20T01:43:00Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] With some [works of modern art](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nude_Descending_a_Staircase%2C_No._2), you might get a very odd number. [/QUOTE] Some [works of ancient art,](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diana_of_Ephesus) too. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2008, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098/39 "2008-06-20T09:57:23Z")
[QUOTE=Shayna] …Many, many years ago, I used to moderate a soap opera message board for As the World Turns. …I get an email from the Sr. Administrator who was over all the individual moderators… Someone had posted a picture of a NUDE MALE on the boards. OGM, this is TACKY and DISGUSTING!!! I’m told this has to be removed in my nightly sweep of the boards and warnings are to be posted. So I go check out the thread and find [this](http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2005/09/01/david_narrowweb__200x378.jpg). [/QUOTE] Was she from the DC area and was her firstname Terry? Because then she may have been the admin who turned the pond beavers into otters in a MUD where I used to write, thus leading the 60% of foreign players (all befuddled by seeing otters build a beaverhouse and a beaverdam) and a big chunk of the EFL ones to learn a new slang word. She then made our lead programmer (English) change the “magic mushrooms” that were the product of the “create food” spell, having decided that it was inappropriate to have people eating magic shrooms. He changed them to bananas, dates, nuts… 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/onoz-statues-haz-boobies/453098.md?page=1)