# Ooh! Flashy lights! Shiny! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2005, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742 "2005-10-31T16:52:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/21 "2005-11-01T01:47:18Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Skankzilla (I mean, REALLY, who wears something that low cut and that much makeup to Disneyland?) [Ursula](http://www.disneyanaexchange.com/Photobin/WZZ-Ursula.jpg)? **Ashtar** , you’re bitching about New Jersey driving? Next you’ll pit New Yorkers for being assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Rysto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Rysto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysto)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/22 "2005-11-01T02:44:10Z")
Giraffe, I’d be more convinced by your explanation if I hadn’t seen plenty of situations where traffic has backed up due to an incident in the **other direction**. Plenty of people people are slowing things down by looking. ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/23 "2005-11-01T03:00:14Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Bonus rant: > Hey, you. Yeah, you asshole. No, I’m not going to let you over. I’ve been waiting in line for 20 minutes to get to this toll booth. You can ride down the EZ Pass lane and try to cut in front of me, but it’s not going to happen. You can flash your lights and honk your horn all you want. You can even make obscene gestures at me and lean out the window and insult my mother. I’m still not going to let you over. As far as I’m concerned, you can fucking rot right there. It’s douchebags like you who cause traffic holdups like the one in the above paragraph. Fuck off. oh, jersey! how i miss my home sweet home! ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/24 "2005-11-01T03:10:43Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I was on the New Jersey Turnprick, I mean Turnpike, yesterday. After sitting around for an hour around exit 8A where everything squeezes down from six lanes to three, I finally get moving. Only problem is, two miles later I get to sit in traffic for another 45 minutes. Why? Because someone got a flat tire and there are flashing lights on the tow truck, and everyone behind the wheel of a vehicle is apparently required by international law to slow down from 70 to 20mph to look at **ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!** It’s okay, though. It’s not like I didn’t have another 250 miles to drive. I like sitting in traffic. You know that stupid Budweiser commercial “Real Men of Genious”? Well a local morning show does a pretty funny spoof on it. One of them is about people who slow down to look at nothing, it’s just some cop that has a guy pulled over, making my 40 minute commute last 6 houuuuUUUURRRs…etc. Sorry, noting really to add other than your rant reminded me of this silly spoof, I empathize. I HATE those idiots too. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/25 "2005-11-01T05:03:05Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > However, I still believe the world would be a better place if I could shoot every rubbernucker in the fucking face with a sawed-off shotgun. Wouldn’t that slow things down even more? 'Cos then you’d have more rubberneckers slowing down to see the other rubberneckers you just shot {call them Rubberneckers A}, and by the time you’d dealt with Rubberneckers B, Rubberneckers C would have shown up, and the Rubberneckers would just keep on multiplying exponentially until everyone in the whole world except you would be a rubbernecker and you’d have to kill them all, only you’d run out of shells and have to use a tyre iron or something, which would be a whole lot slower giving more Rubberneckers time to arrive, and the whole thing would just be like this huge nightmare with you beating back hordes and hordes of Rubberneckers only more and more just kept coming at you. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/26 "2005-11-01T05:26:56Z")
> [@Case Sensitive](#): > > … and the whole thing would just be like this huge nightmare with you beating back hordes and hordes of Rubberneckers only more and more just kept coming at you. That’s when you upgrade to the plasma rifle. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/27 "2005-11-01T07:40:21Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > That’s when you upgrade to the plasma rifle. 😃 Only what you see. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/28 "2005-11-01T08:14:22Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Sorry for the hijack, I just think the physics of traffic jams is fascinating. Put enough cars in the same place and you have about as much free will as a water molecule in the freezer. My understanding is that traffic flow is very similar to fluid dynamics. As far as I’m concerned, the most efficient way to merge is like a zipper. I constantly scream this at people in an effort to educate them on this. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/29 "2005-11-01T11:58:19Z")
> [@Rysto](#): > > Giraffe, I’d be more convinced by your explanation if I hadn’t seen plenty of situations where traffic has backed up due to an incident in the **other direction**. Plenty of people people are slowing things down by looking. But doesn’t that just illustrate the point? When you have a certain density of traffic on the road, backups are going to occur no matter what. I don’t see how the fact that the other direction is experiencing the same problem proves that it must be people stopping to look. Assuming that both sides of the road are experiencing equal traffic density, you’re going to get backups on both sides. The backup may well have been caused by some guy slowing for the flashing lights, but it’s quite likely that he’s half an hour down the road by now, and the rest of you are just the inevitable victims of a very strange dynamic system (and all of you cursing the guy directly in front 🙂 ). Really, this is a heavily studied subject; in the right traffic conditions it need only take a few (or even one) driver(s) slowing slightly (e.g. as a reasonable precaution when they see flashing lights) to set off a standing wave which will take some considerable time to dissipate, even if the cause is removed. [Here’s the description of one type of model](http://www.ce.berkeley.edu/~daganzo/explain2.html), with a nifty video. Well, niftyish. And another [story](http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/news/archive/2004/07/30/financial0917EDT0043.DTL) relating to how humans are really all to blame, just because of the way we drive naturally. I’m also going to link to [this](http://www.ce.berkeley.edu/~daganzo/Simulations/lane_drops.htm) because while it’s not entirely relevant, it’s got a really cool animation. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/30 "2005-11-02T03:54:25Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > My bad. I should have been more specific. Different kind of cat: Cat O’Nine Tails. 😃 > > _A quasi-scientific test has been carried out with a replica cat made to exactly the same spec as its naval forebear; a 13 oz. cat with 2’ long tails. The tests were carried out by a 5’10" man of average build on various pieces of knot-free pitch pine. A ¾" by ¾" piece broke into 3 bits on the first blow while a 1" by 1" piece broke on the second. The tails appeared to spread no more than 3"._ They believe in rod, the scourger almighty, creator of hell upon earth, and in Jacky Tar, the son of a gun, who was conceived of unholy boast, born of the fighting navy, suffered under rump and dozen, was scarified, flayed and curried, yelled like bloody hell, the third day he arose again from the bed, steered into haven, sitteth on his beamend till further orders whence he shall come to drudge for a living and be paid. —James Joyce, _Ulysses_ ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/31 "2005-11-02T04:19:07Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > As far as I’m concerned, the most efficient way to merge is like a zipper. I noticed this one morning while driving to work, and was inspired to compose these lines on the spot: _Two traffic lanes merge into one. Giant zipper invisibly zips._ ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2005, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742/32 "2005-11-02T06:14:30Z")
> [@Rysto](#): > > Giraffe, I’d be more convinced by your explanation if I hadn’t seen plenty of situations where traffic has backed up due to an incident in the **other direction**. Plenty of people people are slowing things down by looking. I’m not saying rubberneckers _can’t_ cause traffic jams. I’m saying there are conditions in which, despite appearances, they don’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooh-flashy-lights-shiny/328742.md?page=1)