# Oompa Loompas vs Munchkins **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 25, 2003, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701 "2003-09-25T07:49:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/41 "2003-09-27T20:34:30Z")
We … are … the lollipop kids the lollipop kids the lollipop kids In the name of … the lollipop kids We wish to launch a barrage of quickened twinned 20d6 maximized fireballs at your heads. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/42 "2003-09-27T22:00:22Z")
The Munchkins would get creamed. Oz already has a powerful fifth column, whereas Willy Wonka would not jeopardize his business by screwing the unions. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/43 "2003-09-27T23:11:53Z")
Oh my. I love the Internet. The [movie](http://www.roalddahlfans.com/movies/willlyrics.php) songs. The much better [book](http://www.roalddahlfans.com/books/charsongs.php#Augustus) songs. A sample re Augustus Gloop: “But don’t, dear children, be alarmed; Augustus Gloop will not be harmed, Although, of course, we must admit He will be altered quite a bit. He’ll be quite changed from what he’s been, When he goes through the fudge machine: Slowly, the wheels go round and round, The cogs begin to grind and pound; A hundred knives go slice, slice, slice…” And it gets worse! Munchkins my ass. No chance whatsoever. Hee hee. This thread has gone on for two pages! Ain’t the Net grand? ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/44 "2003-09-28T10:40:32Z")
My money is on the Oompa team as well. Consider when something happened to one of the children in the chocolate factory, the Oompas were not phased one bit. They just rolled the blueberry girl off singing. The munchkins seemed to spend a great deal of time shivering in the bushes. Oompas are just natrually better prepared for the horrors an Oompa-Munchkin war would bring. Oompas also seem to be better at gizmos. The days of hand to hand little people wars are long gone, todays midget wars are done with remote controled drone aircraft and laser guided missiles. I just can’t see munchkins getting the hang of the techno age. The Oompas are residents of the UK, therefore would have the backing of the UN. Last I looked Oz wasn’t even a member of the UN. Plus, the Oompas would have a well funded arsonal due to Williy’s chocolate empire. I’m sure it wouldn’t take them long to invent the Everburning Gobstopper or FLBM’s (Fizzy Lifting Ballistic Missiles). Now that I think of it they could just point WonkaVision at Munchkinland and follow that up by walking around the area in really big shoes. Also, Oopmas are wired on sugar. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/45 "2003-09-28T10:45:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Seven \* > Plus, the Oompas would have a well funded arsonal due to Williy’s chocolate empire. I’m sure it wouldn’t take them long to invent the Everburning Gobstopper or FLBM’s (Fizzy Lifting Ballistic Missiles). I suppose their ultimate weapon would be exploding jawbreakers. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/46 "2004-07-20T23:17:13Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > Speaking of parodies, if you’re ever in Quahog, RI, visit the Pawtucket Patriot brewery. They have some Oompa-Loompas as well. Nah, those are Chumba Wumbas, and they are WAY nastier than Oompa Loompas, my money would be on them. This is the song they sing to Joe about being in a wheelchair before thy push him off the brewery grounds and into the middle of the street: Chumba wumba, gobbeldy goo Life isn’t fair, it’s sad but it’s true Chumba wumba, gobbeldy ghee When your poor legs are stiff as a tree What do you do when you’re stuck in a chair? Finding it hard to go up and down stairs? What do you think of the one you call God? Isn’t His absence slightly odd? Maybe he’s forgotten you. Chumba wumba, gobbeldy gorse Count yourself lucky you’re not a horse They would turn you into dog food or to chumba wumba gobbeldy glue ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/47 "2004-07-20T23:18:40Z")
Hmmm. followed so many links today I didn’t realize this thread was a year old. Ooops. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/48 "2004-07-21T04:11:33Z")
I didn’t notice the dates either and had forgotten about this thread. Imagine my wiggins at finding my own long-forgotten (but still IMHO pretty humorous) post. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/49 "2004-07-21T05:44:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Still, you gotta respect the technological superiority of the oompas. They’d take on the munchkins, the Keebler elves, hobbits, AND ewoks. Sure, they’d take on hobbits, but once a single member of the Orange Menace put Frodo in any sort of danger, Master Gamgee would mow through the Oompa Loompas like a lawn tractor through clover on a hot summer’s day. 'Cause Sam loves his Frodo, he does. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/50 "2004-07-21T13:03:38Z")
> [@KCSuze](#): > > Sure, they’d take on hobbits, but once a single member of the Orange Menace put Frodo in any sort of danger, Master Gamgee would mow through the Oompa Loompas like a lawn tractor through clover on a hot summer’s day. 'Cause Sam loves his Frodo, he does. Sam would kill them if they tried anything. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2004, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701/51 "2004-07-25T04:48:20Z")
Oompa Loompas besides tasting better would win hands down!! 😃 [http://www.videopool.org/catalogue/titles/?isbn=1552600516](http://www.videopool.org/catalogue/titles/?isbn=1552600516) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oompa-loompas-vs-munchkins/203701.md?page=2)