# Ooooooh... Kyle's mom's a bitch **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 22, 2015, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075 "2015-12-22T05:56:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/21 "2015-12-22T19:31:34Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/22 "2015-12-22T19:32:41Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Santa whores? Well, potential whores. > [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > What happens in Palmyra, stays in Palmyra. Love it. **Boyo Jim** , it’s the possibly just-so story of how getting stockings filled with goodies came to be a thing. There was a poor family with three daughters. They were so poor that they could not provide a dowery for any of them and therefore the girls were destined to be prostitutes. The family also hung their stockings on the hearth to dry whenever they were washed. And left their windows open at night. As each girl came of age, Saint Nick would toss a purse of gold coins through their window to land in one of that girl’s stockings. So all three were able to marry instead of embracing whoredom. And if that doesn’t give you a nice Christmas glow, I don’t know what will. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/23 "2015-12-22T19:39:49Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Not to this Jew, he isn’t. You may not even notice it if you were raised in a Christian or religion free household, but to me there’s no way to separate Santa from Christianity. I agree 100%. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/24 "2015-12-22T19:41:33Z")
From the article: > [@](#): > > “There was also a reindeer party and other Christmas related activities. There was nothing done for the Diwali festival. We have two Hindu girls in our class. There was nothing done for Ramadan. We have a Muslim boy in our class.“ A certified public school teacher, Talia said the Santa lesson was better taught outside of class hours. She does have a point here. Especially since: > [@](#): > > The mother says one parent called her “the one who started the war on Christmas.” So, for that parent, at any rate, does equate Santa with Christmas (which Santa is). Though I guess it is also awkward for parents who refuse to go along with the Santa-existence story (because they feel it is an unnecessary lying to their kids). ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/25 "2015-12-22T19:42:35Z")
(in response to Yllaria): Is that also the origin of “ho ho ho?” ---
**Author:** ![Gothic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Gothic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gothic)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/26 "2015-12-22T19:56:32Z")
I thought Snowmen were non denominational. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/27 "2015-12-22T20:11:01Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Well, potential whores. > > Love it. > > **Boyo Jim** , it’s the possibly just-so story of how getting stockings filled with goodies came to be a thing. There was a poor family with three daughters. They were so poor that they could not provide a dowery for any of them and therefore the girls were destined to be prostitutes. The family also hung their stockings on the hearth to dry whenever they were washed. And left their windows open at night. > > As each girl came of age, Saint Nick would toss a purse of gold coins through their window to land in one of that girl’s stockings. So all three were able to marry instead of embracing whoredom. And if that doesn’t give you a nice Christmas glow, I don’t know what will. Ah, I always though “stocking stuffer” was a metaphor for prostitution. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/28 "2015-12-22T20:17:48Z")
I’m all for a Santa visit, but let’s be inclusive about it. If we’re going to take the kids to visit with Santa, you’ve also got to take the little shits to see [Krampus](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e2/Gruss_vom_Krampus.jpg/220px-Gruss_vom_Krampus.jpg)! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/29 "2015-12-22T20:30:48Z")
I wouldn’t want an institution of education deliberately lying to my child. I didn’t raise my son that way. I never told him SC was real, and I wouldn’t appreciate it if my son’s school did. You want to lie to your own children? Fine. But leave my kid out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/30 "2015-12-22T20:37:57Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > … I never told him SC was real, and I wouldn’t appreciate it if my son’s school did… I’m pretty sure South Carolina really exists, though it has a certain nightmarish quality. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/31 "2015-12-22T20:38:35Z")
[Cracked did an article the other day](http://www.cracked.com/article_23342_the-depressing-origins-6-cheerful-christmas-traditions.html) mentioning both the prostitute stockings and claims that Santa is partially a secular creation. > [@ftg](#): > > The only people I’ve known who are strongly anti-Christmas are Christians. They considered it a pagan holiday and overshadowed Easter which is supposed to be The Big One. Sort of like the puritan attitude in New England a few hundred years ago. Jehovah’s Witnesses? > [@Mithras](#): > > Is this why there are so many people who believe there is a war on Christmas? That the symbols of Christmas are so ubiquitous that Christians are able to convince themselves they’re part of secular American culture and that the whole country hasn’t actually turned into a stage to celebrate their holiday for the entire month of December? Heh, great username for this thread? You know how every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings? Well, every time a war on Christmas is declared, Bill O’Reilly gets more ad revenue. What both right-wing cranks and left-wing PC stereotypes fail to realize is that by replacing “Merry Christmas” with “Happy Holidays” you are still etymologically wishing people have a joyous time during the holiest of days. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/32 "2015-12-22T20:52:11Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I’m pretty sure South Carolina really exists, though it has a certain nightmarish quality. You know it’s just a fairy tale to scare kids! “Now Timmy, finish your plate or else we’re going to move to South Carolina”… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/33 "2015-12-22T21:18:35Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > I wouldn’t want an institution of education deliberately lying to my child. I didn’t raise my son that way. I never told him SC was real, and I wouldn’t appreciate it if my son’s school did. > > You want to lie to your own children? Fine. But leave my kid out of it. What, you mean like talking, sword-fighting cats? Superheroes? Spiders that talk to pigs and write in English? Car-driving toads? Hookah-smoking caterpillars? Santa’s just another fictional character. Some kids believe he’s real, just like Spiderman is real. (And Spiderman has been known to visit schoolchildren.) Some kids don’t believe in Santa Claus. But even the kids who don’t believe in Santa like to go on outings. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/34 "2015-12-22T22:18:19Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Not to this Jew, he isn’t. You may not even notice it if you were raised in a Christian or religion free household, but to me there’s no way to separate Santa from Christianity. But I’ll bet you willingly take the day off, with pay, from work. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/35 "2015-12-22T22:19:47Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > What, you mean like talking, sword-fighting cats? Superheroes? Spiders that talk to pigs and write in English? Car-driving toads? Hookah-smoking caterpillars? Santa’s just another fictional character. Some kids believe he’s real, just like Spiderman is real. (And Spiderman has been known to visit schoolchildren.) Some kids don’t believe in Santa Claus. But even the kids who don’t believe in Santa like to go on outings. When reading those classic stories you refer to, I don’t recall my teachers ever playing the characters off like they were real. This isn’t so with Santa Claus, they are actually playing him off as if he were real. Big difference. And speaking for myself, I never thought superheroes were real at any age. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2015, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/36 "2015-12-22T22:22:35Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Not to this Jew, he isn’t. You may not even notice it if you were raised in a Christian or religion free household, but to me there’s no way to separate Santa from Christianity. Huh. I was raised Catholic and never raised to believe in Santa. Jesus’s birth was what it was all about. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/37 "2015-12-23T00:25:18Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Not to this Jew, he isn’t. You may not even notice it if you were raised in a Christian or religion free household, but to me there’s no way to separate Santa from Christianity. Isn’t there an anecdote of a Japanese department store decorating for Christmas with images of a crucified Santa? ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/38 "2015-12-23T00:52:29Z")
> [@Rick\_Kitchen](#): > > Isn’t there an anecdote of a Japanese department store decorating for Christmas with images of a crucified Santa? [They did it in Washington](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6P0SitRwy8). ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/39 "2015-12-23T01:40:32Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > It’s pretty hard for me to separate Santa from Christmas You don’t have to separate Santa from Christmas, you have to separate christmas from christianity. Like the grand majority of us already do. There is nothing christian about Santa, or christmas trees, or yule logs, or presents, or absolutely anything else people do to celebrate christmas. Devout christians and jews seem to be the only ones left who still think this is a religious holiday. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2015, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075/40 "2015-12-23T01:53:44Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > When reading those classic stories you refer to, I don’t recall my teachers ever playing the characters off like they were real. This isn’t so with Santa Claus, they are actually playing him off as if he were real. Big difference. > > And speaking for myself, I never thought superheroes were real at any age. So your kid is the little asshole that tells the other kids Santa isn’t real? What’s wrong with a little magic for a few years? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ooooooh-kyles-moms-a-bitch/741075.md?page=3)