# Opal, what the fuck is your problem? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 16, 2008, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368 "2008-12-16T06:10:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/481 "2008-12-17T20:05:07Z")
> [@brownie55](#): > > I take it you are using “member” in the sense of “dick?” What the fuck is that about? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/482 "2008-12-17T20:05:41Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Oh! When I read that link from Shellibean, I thought for sure that was a mod! Whoa. So ok. No mod has put the brakes on our new memes and we get to keep them? > > 1. I am glad to hear that. > 2. Harmonious Discord sounded so much like a mod to me, I have to ask, did he used to be a mod? > 3. Lick my hairy nutsack you crazy ass bitch > > P.S. I deleted those handbag pics from my flickr. Never dreamed you crazy folks would be asking to see them a year later. The junior modding in that thread - and lack of handbag pics - is enough to make me go totally buckeye. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Atomicflea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/58956e/32.png) [@Atomicflea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomicflea)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/483 "2008-12-17T20:09:25Z")
Mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/484 "2008-12-17T20:18:58Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > What? > > 1. It’s possible I’m 6’7" and play for the Harlem Globetrotters; therefore, it is necessary that I do? > > 2. It’s possible that I was rocketed from an exploding planet and sent to Earth where I developed powers and abilities far beyond those of normal men; therefore, it is necessary that I was? > > 3. It’s possible that I have a hairy nut sack; therefore, you’re a crazy-ass bitch? 😃 > … I think you meant; 1. It’s possible that I have a hairy nut sack; therefore, it is necessary that you lick it crazy-ass bitch. at least I think that is how the meme is supposed to work. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/485 "2008-12-17T20:20:49Z")
So, is **OpalCat** actually going to respond to this thread? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/486 "2008-12-17T20:23:36Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > So, is **OpalCat** actually going to respond to this thread? 1. She gave an answer here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10578328&postcount=23](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10578328&postcount=23) 2. She finally thanked those who provided recipes 3. She won’t visiting this thread as she apparently doesn’t like licking hairy nutsacks, metaphorical or otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/487 "2008-12-17T20:24:02Z")
Usually the subject of a pitting shows up to defend or apologize for their alleged behavior. Opal hasn’t posted in this thread, though. EDT: beaten ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/488 "2008-12-17T20:25:12Z")
**Liberal** was just making sure that this thread truly does have everything. In addition: Og burning your dog. For twenty minutes. With a 1920s style death ray. Because Duran Duran got all buckeye over Rio. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/489 "2008-12-17T20:31:26Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I think you meant; > > 1. It’s possible that I have a hairy nut sack; therefore, it is necessary that you lick it crazy-ass bitch. > > at least I think that is how the meme is supposed to work. I bow to your superior and cunning linguistic skills. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/490 "2008-12-17T20:36:32Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Not that I disagree with you for breaking the link or giving **Auto** a warning, but _porn_? > > That video is a lot of things, but I really don’t want to think about the person who finds that arousing. Oh, you’d be surprised. (And well, obviously the guy who did it.) ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/491 "2008-12-17T20:40:48Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > What mod? 😕 1. There is no mod. 2. There is no spoon 3. Lick my hairy nutsack, you crazy ass bitch ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/492 "2008-12-17T20:50:48Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > > [@Liberal](#): > > > > It is possible that God exists; therefore, it is necessary that He does. > > What? It’s the ontological proof of God’s existence. In an expanded form, it goes something like this: God, according to common understanding, is a perfect being. Total knowledge, absolute power, perfect love, yada yada yada. There is no sense in which God is not perfect. So, if you consider the question of God’s existence, clearly, a perfect being which does not exist is not, of course, perfect. Thus, God, being perfect, must necessarily exist, for not to exist would violate his perfection. It’s a shining example of Victory by Definition, and is basically total bullshit. It’s also worth noting that it’s been around since the 12th century (courtesy of a chap name of Anselm, as I recall), and that such a weak piece of circular reasoning should have such sticking power gives you an idea of just how thin on the ground rationally consistent proofs of God’s existence really are. On other hand, it’s a really neat reasoning tool, because it lets you talk about God on a number of different fronts. For example: Building on the Perfect Being concept, let’s talk about God’s penis. Clearly, a God who is hung like a squirrel is highly imperfect. Therefore, God must have a giant cock. And yet, a God with a giant cock is necessarily male, which is obviously imperfect, as half of humanity is female. Thus, in addition to the big dick, God must also have big tits. We can continue, obviously. Let’s consider a God who is without a Bitchin’ Camaro, and a God who possesses a Bitchin’ Camaro. Without question, the God without the Bitchin’ Camaro is imperfect, and therefore, God must have a Bitchin’ Camaro. But, again, the Bitchin’ Camaro, in and of itself, is a fairly masculine vehicle, whereas God, being perfect, must embody any and all states of existence. Thus we must temper the manliness of the Bitchin’ Camaro by injecting some element of the feminine. Say, Barbie’s Dream Car. Therefore, according to the tenets of the ontological proof of God’s existence, it is not only necessary that God exist, but we can say conclusively that God is an omnipotent shemale in a pink muscle car. Make sense? ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/493 "2008-12-17T20:53:52Z")
Is God’s name Ron, by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/494 "2008-12-17T20:56:29Z")
I seem to have missed some of Opals’ drama due to my absence over the past 3 years–what happened to Jugglin’ Dan? Is Dominic in therapy yet? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/495 "2008-12-17T20:59:22Z")
Holy shit. **Gobear**! NOW this thread has everything. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/496 "2008-12-17T21:01:50Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Holy shit. **Gobear**! > > NOW this thread has everything. It’s the perfect thread! Ergo, this thread is God. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/497 "2008-12-17T21:05:14Z")
> [@](#): > > Therefore, according to the tenets of the ontological proof of God’s existence, it is not only necessary that God exist, but we can say conclusively that God is an omnipotent shemale in a pink muscle car. Here’s the question, though, does a perfect God carry a 9mm or a .45? This is a long-running argument among gun enthusiasts that has spawned 100-page threads. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/498 "2008-12-17T21:07:05Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > :: blues brothers drive through thread :: New boob rashes are in early this year. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/499 "2008-12-17T21:08:31Z")
[ol] [li] **Hazel** , gotcha. 🙂 I also read all that you had written, but apparently through my Blood Mary haze, I didn’t quite grok all of it.[/li][li]Kitchen Sink.[/li][li]Lick my hairy nutsack, you crazy ass bitch, because I love Buckeyes![/li][li]Now this thread has everything.[/li][/ol] ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2008, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/500 "2008-12-17T21:12:40Z")
Youze can lick my buckeye, you crazy ass, hairy, nutsack bitches! Wait…I think I mixed that up… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368.md?page=26)