# Opal, what the fuck is your problem? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 16, 2008, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368 "2008-12-16T06:10:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 39
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/761 "2008-12-19T12:52:44Z")
> [@Nancarrow](#): > > Hi everybody. Sorry I’m late. Terrible traffic at xkcd and a six-spambot pile-up at youtube. Do we know what Opal’s problem is yet? Apparently the Spanish Inquisition is forcing a ring up her foreskin with a buckeye. ---
**Author:** ![Buckeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9f8e36/32.png) [@Buckeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buckeye)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/762 "2008-12-19T13:06:43Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Apparently the Spanish Inquisition is forcing a ring up her foreskin with a buckeye. Hey now, I refused to be used for that! ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/763 "2008-12-19T13:08:32Z")
> [@Buckeye](#): > > Hey now, I refused to be used for that! Good luck doing a vanity search, too. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/764 "2008-12-19T13:20:21Z")
Well shit-just read your last post in theHarmonious Discord thread where you made the same joke. A day late/dollar short again. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/765 "2008-12-19T13:23:53Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Can you find me one that gets 14 k of g in a f p d? Damn you, tasty vegetable! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/766 "2008-12-19T13:54:20Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Damn you, tasty vegetable! [Nobody loves me, everybody hates me…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10588713&postcount=45) I just realized something else we need to make this thread complete–a newbie coming in and saying “I don’t understand these jokes. Would someone please explain them all to me?” ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/767 "2008-12-19T13:55:04Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > **Knead** : What’s equally impressive about that thread is that everyone in it was a real class act. And she just kept going! What’s a “heart story”? And no, it’s not news when a nameless woman dies, because she’s nameless. I missed the old thread several years ago, but it blew my mind reading it now. What a damned shame! You’d have thought that in 33 years of life, someone, somewhere would have given that poor woman a name! What the hell was her mother thinking? No wonder **techchick** was so upset. Man! That’s just so freaking sad! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/768 "2008-12-19T14:03:41Z")
> [@legalsnugs](#): > > I missed the old thread several years ago, but it blew my mind reading it now. What a damned shame! You’d have thought that in 33 years of life, someone, somewhere would have given that poor woman a name! What the hell was her mother thinking? No wonder **techchick** was so upset. Man! That’s just so freaking sad! ☹ Yes, I’m thinking something along the lines of [Honszlynn Hinnler](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=497840) would have made a lovely moniker. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/769 "2008-12-19T14:13:00Z")
Since **Buckeye** entered into the fun I’m willing to give up that semi-banned statement. I promise to never use that old and tired 2003-ish meme about lists. I’ll copy those wise posters above me. I heartily endorse the new! 1. I like trees. 2. I like Ohio. 3. Hi Buckeye. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/770 "2008-12-19T14:13:20Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > “If you’re so mired in grief, why are you on the net at all? Why aren’t you with your friend, who probably needs someone right now?” OMG, that is _exactly_ what I wanted to say to her reading it yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/771 "2008-12-19T14:19:02Z")
> [@jali](#): > > Since **Buckeye** entered into the fun I’m willing to give up that semi-banned statement. I promise to never use that old and tired 2003-ish meme about lists. I’ll copy those wise posters above me. I heartily endorse the new! > > 1. I like trees. > 2. I like Ohio. > 3. Hi Buckeye. 1. I like Buckey. (Hi, Buckeye) 2. I don’t like buckeye replacing the new meme of LMHNYCAB 3. Lick my hairy nuts you crazy ass bitch ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/772 "2008-12-19T14:20:20Z")
> [@warmgun](#): > > That is genius! > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > NOBODY expects… > Oh, bugger. > [@Caught\_Work](#): > > Says the Knight of Ni, “you must bring me a … buckeye.” > [@Manduck](#): > > This thread had everything seven pages ago. Now it has _more_ than everything! > [@Rilchiam](#): > > **catsix** : Yes, that’s the one. > > **Knead** : What’s equally impressive about that thread is that everyone in it was a real class act. And she just kept going! What’s a “heart story”? And no, it’s not news when a nameless woman dies, because she’s nameless. > > I’m only sorry it was closed before I could reply. I was trying to decide between “Here’s Larry Elder’s (Los Angeles talk radio host) phone number: tell him” and “If you’re so mired in grief, why are you on the net at all? Why aren’t you with your friend, who probably needs someone right now?” But when I tried to post, the thread had already been locked. > > **techchick** was a piece of work. An active alcoholic by her own admission, and with no intention of changing that condition. IIRC, but I’m pretty sure I do. > [@Fenris](#): > > Father John doesn’t approve of SUV’s (or Hummers). > [@SomeUserName](#): > > Hey, Don’t you dare bring us back to reality! :mad: > > Hi Buckeye 🙂 > [@Buckeye](#): > > I’ve always wanted to be a meme.🆒 I will be famous! > > And hello to all that greeted me. > [@Koxinga](#): > > 1. Hi **Buckeye**! > [@Nancarrow](#): > > Hi everybody. Sorry I’m late. Terrible traffic at xkcd and a six-spambot pile-up at youtube. Do we know what Opal’s problem is yet? > [@Smeghead](#): > > Apparently the Spanish Inquisition is forcing a ring up her foreskin with a buckeye. > [@Buckeye](#): > > Hey now, I refused to be used for that! > [@wring](#): > > Good luck doing a vanity search, too. > [@wring](#): > > Well shit-just read your last post in theHarmonious Discord thread where you made the same joke. A day late/dollar short again. This message ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/773 "2008-12-19T14:22:18Z")
I, for one, welcome our new buckeyed overlords. (And those crazy-ass bitches). ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/774 "2008-12-19T14:26:20Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > 1. I like Buckey. (Hi, Buckeye) > 2. I don’t like buckeye replacing the new meme of LMHNYCAB > 3. Lick my hairy nuts you crazy ass bitch You dont like buckeye then? You know what, why dont you just lick my hairy nuts you crazy ass bitch… Wait… ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/775 "2008-12-19T14:26:48Z")
I wonder how Opal feels about buck teeth? Now, there’s an idea…a buck teeth necklace on which to hang her lovely ring! ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/776 "2008-12-19T14:32:49Z")
By the way, I was in Ohio once. In 1961. For 20 minutes. While there, I witnessed those 1960s-style “tree nuts”. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/777 "2008-12-19T14:34:30Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > 😃 Ha! Are you going to send a box of bloodshot buckeyes to Opal? I like the way you think, but I’m too cheap to pop for the postage. I think if I drizzle melted white chocolate around the outer edge of where the peanut butter part shows, and then splash red food coloring on the white choc, we might have something. Too bad about the ice storm, otherwise I’d go to the store and get the stuff, make them, and post pics here. Maybe I’ve got too much time on my hands. 😃 **catsix** –I’ll start a new tradition. Buckeyes on New Year’s Day. Hey! I could combine them with First Footing. That’s what America is all about: melding the old and the new… ---
**Author:** ![SomeUserName](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e480ec/32.png) [@SomeUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeUserName)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/778 "2008-12-19T14:55:19Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > You dont like buckeye then? You know what, why dont you just lick my hairy nuts you crazy ass bitch… > > Wait… Hey, sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/779 "2008-12-19T14:57:46Z")
It’s all tits and strippers until someone hoses down a coconut. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2008, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368/780 "2008-12-19T14:58:45Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > I like the way you think, but I’m too cheap to pop for the postage. > > I think if I drizzle melted white chocolate around the outer edge of where the peanut butter part shows, and then splash red food coloring on the white choc, we might have something. Too bad about the ice storm, otherwise I’d go to the store and get the stuff, make them, and post pics here. > > Maybe I’ve got too much time on my hands. 😃 > > **catsix** –I’ll start a new tradition. Buckeyes on New Year’s Day. Hey! I could combine them with First Footing. That’s what America is all about: melding the old and the new… That’s genius! They will be little bloodshot buckeyes! Then you will have to put photos all over the web. Make sure to give credit where credit is due, however, and specify that they were inspired by **OpalCat**. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368.md?page=38) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opal-what-the-fuck-is-your-problem/477368.md?page=40)