# Open Letter To The Homophobe's I've Met.. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 24, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625 "2003-07-24T14:14:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/41 "2003-07-25T20:59:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by seal\_clubber \* > \*\*Fine, no gay lifestyle. But - there is an AGENDA. The Supreme Court says so. Where do I get a copy? \*\* Not certain, I’ve been waiting patiently for my copy to come in the mail, and it hasn’t yet. I didn’t even get my damn toaster. ---
**Author:** ![hilltopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hilltopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hilltopper)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/42 "2003-07-25T21:05:24Z")
zweisamkeit, no, no, no. First of all you must have failed logic in school because your chain or reason makes no sense. I see I need to further explain the whole massage analogy. To clairify: My homophobic tendencies are evidenced by the fact that I don’t want to get a massage from a man because I’m afraid I might get a woody and am terrified at the thought that I might be gay. (hypothetical) I don’t know the reason you are uncomfortable with a male MD seeing your privates, sounds like a personal problem. Maybe you should get some councelling. If the reason you only want to see female OBGYNs is because you want to get turn on during the exam than you are gay. If its because you are afraid you will get turned on by the male doctor than you may be straight (albeit uptight). If it because your afraid the doctor will be turned on by you, you may be afraid either gay or straight or bi, but no of these are relevant about this particular fear. Maybe your just shy. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/43 "2003-07-25T21:07:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hilltopper \* > **Whats your point?** I just want to know who “Hill” is, and why you’re topping him. ---
**Author:** ![chula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a4c791/32.png) [@chula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chula)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/44 "2003-07-25T21:15:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hilltopper \* > **My homophobic tendencies are evidenced by the fact that I don’t want to get a massage from a man because I’m afraid I might get a woody and am terrified at the thought that I might be gay. (hypothetical)** Does anyone have a cite for that study they did that showed the more homophobic a person was, the more likely they were to be turned on by gay porn? > [@](#): > > I don’t know the reason you are uncomfortable with a male MD seeing your privates, sounds like a personal problem. Maybe you should get some councelling. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/45 "2003-07-25T21:16:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\* > First, there is no gay lifestyle, any more than there is a blue-eyed lifestyle or a redhead lifestyle. \*\* Exactly. Why just the other day I was at the redheaded Pride festival in which my company had sponsored a float to promote awareness for us redheads and how we shouldn’t be perceived as tempermental hotheads just because of our hair color and… …No, wait… No, I wasnt. Call it whatever you want to call it. There IS a gay lifestyle. It just happens to be completely separate from actually BEING gay. I’m straight but I happen to frequent mostly gay bars. I do this because I feel that the people at gay bars are more open and seem to have more fun and spend less time posturing than people at straight bars. I also do it because I’m not looking to be picked up on… I’m sure that primarily gay bars are probably just as big of meak market as primarily straight bars, but I like the fact that I’m neither the meat nor the hungry. I still manage to get terribly sunburned during Gay Pride festivals, happily cheering for PFLAG and donning rainbow necklaces and “straight but not narrow” t-shirts that my gay roomate buys for me. I NEVER miss an episode of QaF and I insist that someday I’ll grow up to be just like Michael’s mom. I’d say in all honestly that I lead more of a “gay lifestyle” than a good 75% of the gay people I know. Some of the gay folks I know wouldn’t be caught dead at Pride, some just don’t think it’s necessary. Some love rainbowed colored pins and bumper stickers proclaiming their sexuality and others stick to their AAA sticker and skip the pins altogether. You don’t have to lead a “gay lifestyle” to be gay and vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/46 "2003-07-25T21:54:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by malkavia \* > **I’m sure that primarily gay bars are probably just as big of meak market as primarily straight bars** Are these the same meak who shall inherit the earth? ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/47 "2003-07-25T22:38:03Z")
Yes, MEAK! I was just checking the specs on the rotoruuhh…I’m retarded. _grabs chalk and heads to blackboard_ Meat Meat Meat Meat Meat Meat Meat _ponder_ Damn, now I’m hungry. ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/48 "2003-07-25T22:55:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by malkavia \* > \*\*Yes, MEAK! I was just checking the specs on the rotoruuhh…I’m retarded. > > _grabs chalk and heads to blackboard_ > > Meat Meat Meat Meat Meat Meat Meat > > _ponder_ Damn, now I’m hungry. \*\* Well, since I am a sex crazed gay and all… _I_ got some meat for ya right here, baby. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/49 "2003-07-25T23:19:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by seal\_clubber \* > \*\*Fine, no gay lifestyle. But - there is an AGENDA. The Supreme Court says so. Where do I get a copy? \*\* As requested: \*\*The Homosexual Agenda 1. Minutes of the last meeting 2. Parade Planning 3. Fabulosity Targets for 1st Quarter 2004 4. Overthrow of Western Civilization, Molestation of Youth and Corruption of Decent, God-fearing People 5. Any Other Business\*\* ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/50 "2003-07-26T19:58:53Z")
Well, no surprises there…but I wanted a printed copy, cause I figured there’d be coupons and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/51 "2003-07-26T20:34:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chula \* > \*\*Does anyone have a cite for that study they did that showed the more homophobic a person was, the more likely they were to be turned on by gay porn?😕 \*\* Does that work the other way too? Does this mean I’m the most homophobic gay person on the planet? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by malkavia \* > **I feel that the people at gay bars . . . spend less time posturing than people at straight bars.** My god, what bars have you been going to? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/52 "2003-07-26T23:05:26Z")
Well, it may actually be true, depending on where she is. I remember a very small, extremely friendly and unpretentious gay bar in Valladolid, Spain, an archly conservative Castilian town with next to no other gay resources. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/53 "2003-07-27T03:46:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by panache45 \* > \*\*Does that work the other way too? Does this mean I’m the most homophobic gay person on the planet? > > My god, what bars have you been going to? \*\* Again, I think it might just be because I’m straight and not there to really get to know anyone on a “Hey baby, whats up?” level… I might just not notice it. ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/54 "2003-07-27T03:48:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Well, it may actually be true, depending on where she is. I remember a very small, extremely friendly and unpretentious gay bar in Valladolid, Spain, an archly conservative Castilian town with next to no other gay resources. \*\* I’m in Phoenix, and we’ve got quite a few gay resources, but I swear I feel like I’m amongst friendlier people in gay bars. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough… or maybe our straight bars are just REALLY bad. ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/55 "2003-07-27T04:10:18Z")
I’m not really sure where this fits in, but I read a letter to the editor in the paper today (I live in BC, where gay marriages have just become legal.) I’m paraphrasing here, but it said, in essence: How can the government allow a man to marry another man? Does that mean I can now marry my dog? Or perhaps my best friend? There could be problems if brothers marry sisters. The world is going to hell in a handbasket because we have decided to rewrite a Canadian law. My god, I rolled my eyes so hard I think I hurt myself. Sometimes I forget that these people are still out there. Some of the behavior in this thread is reminding me of my previous eye-injuring disbelief. ---
**Author:** ![Priam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/77aa72/32.png) [@Priam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Priam)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/56 "2003-07-27T05:01:23Z")
I know what you mean, \*_meyer_. I wish I could point out that same-sex marriage or marriage equivalent status has existed for years in several European countries, yet not one powerful Man/Dog lobby has arisen in that time, nor has a rain of sulphur occured over Oslo or Amsterdam. Frankly, I’m disappointed. I expected riots in the street, and I’ve been let down! ---
**Author:** ![Snake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Snake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/57 "2003-07-27T06:05:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by modro \* > \*\* Suppose we became friends, got along real well, _then_ I told you I was gay. How would your opinion change. Would you have less respect for me? Avoid me? Even if by knowing me in the first place I proved that the stereotypes were incorrect? > > If you would, _that_ is homophobia. \*\* Ok , suppose we became friends and got along real well . Then you told me you and your s/o liked golden showers . Nobody gets hurt , its consentual , but I , personally , would find that disgusting and would think of that anytime i saw you . Same deal with being gay . I personally find not YOU , but what you DO an impediment to friendship . If a straight friend of mine told me he liked to jam a table leg up his ass , I could never see him without thinkin " Ugh , thats some fucked up stuff he does " . Just as I don’t want to see someody picking their nose , I also don’t want to see two men kissing . Am I nostrilphobic ? I don’t think picking your nose should be illegal anymore than i think any gay issue should be illegal . Nobody gets hurt , just keep that stuff away from me because I think its gross . Would I be considered a homophobe ? ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/58 "2003-07-27T07:04:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snake \* > \*\*Ok , suppose we became friends and got along real well . Then you told me you and your s/o liked golden showers . Nobody gets hurt , its consentual , but I , personally , would find that disgusting and would think of that anytime i saw you . Same deal with being gay . I personally find not YOU , but what you DO an impediment to friendship . Would I be considered a homophobe ? \*\* Actually, I’d say you’re a person who’s needlessly missing out on a number of potentially wonderful friends. So far you’ve ruled out friendship based on golden showers, homosexuality, jamming table legs up one’s ass, and nosepicking. What other arbitrary criteria do you use when picking friends? (This isn’t saying I don’t use arbitrary criteria to exclude friends myself. Unfortunately, I do. I just feel that it’s necessary to be aware of it and try to avoid it as well as one can.) ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/59 "2003-07-27T07:25:07Z")
I’d say **Snake** is also making a good number of wild-ass assumptions. So in this case I find not **Snake** but **Snake** ’s ignorance to be an impediment to friendship. Does this make me a Snakephobe? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625/60 "2003-07-27T07:35:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snake \* > \*\*Ok , suppose we became friends and got along real well . Then you told me you and your s/o liked golden showers . Nobody gets hurt , its consentual , but I , personally , would find that disgusting and would think of that anytime i saw you . Same deal with being gay . I personally find not YOU , but what you DO an impediment to friendship . If a straight friend of mine told me he liked to jam a table leg up his ass , I could never see him without thinkin " Ugh , thats some fucked up stuff he does " . Just as I don’t want to see someody picking their nose , I also don’t want to see two men kissing . Am I nostrilphobic ? I don’t think picking your nose should be illegal anymore than i think any gay issue should be illegal . Nobody gets hurt , just keep that stuff away from me because I think its gross . Would I be considered a homophobe ? \*\* Yes, it _is_ homophobic, and I’m sure that you know that. Judgemental, bigoted, and stupid. Are you normally this much of an asshole or did you recently incur blunt trauma to your head? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-letter-to-the-homophobes-ive-met/190625.md?page=4)