# Open Spoilers. Don't read! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 22, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736 "2006-06-22T16:40:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/101 "2006-06-22T22:30:00Z")
He was dead all along. ---
**Author:** ![Khan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3ab097/32.png) [@Khan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khan)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/102 "2006-06-22T22:31:01Z")
Wash dies. The paralyzing hit doesn’t work because of a nerve injury during the war. Kane is Smith. There is another. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/103 "2006-06-22T22:47:13Z")
Two of the dogs die but we’re supposed to feel cheerful about the ones that live. (I still get choked up) ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/104 "2006-06-22T23:03:41Z")
It wasn’t a game or a simulation. It was the actual battle. Bean is the real brains anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/105 "2006-06-22T23:13:21Z")
His penis really is huge. ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/106 "2006-06-22T23:25:19Z")
The leading female character is actually a man. George shoots him in the back of the head. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/107 "2006-06-22T23:25:49Z")
Although the planes get him, it was really beauty that killed the beast. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/108 "2006-06-23T00:06:22Z")
“Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/109 "2006-06-23T00:39:35Z")
Old Yeller dies. : sob : ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/110 "2006-06-23T00:56:10Z")
> [@bup](#): > > No, I was thinking of a _totally_ different episode. It was Old Man _Jennings_, the caretaker of the estate. Oh, well you should have said so. -She had AIDS and wanted to pawn the kid off on the mentally retarded guy, so she says he’s probably the father. -She’s an ogre too. -They blow up the town rather than let the railroad get it after everyone goes blind and gets hooked on morphine. -She made a copy of it, that’s why she survived. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/111 "2006-06-23T00:57:20Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > The Gunslinger winds up pretty much back at the beginning. But this time, he has his horn, and finally has a chance at completing his quest. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/112 "2006-06-23T01:01:08Z")
The Energizer Bunny walks across the screen. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/113 "2006-06-23T01:09:10Z")
It’s not a tumor. Shane doesn’t come back. Peter doesn’t get with MJ. Rah’s is Liam Neeson. The lion is Jesus. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/114 "2006-06-23T01:12:27Z")
Orr rides out his own plane crash to safety and freedom. Yossarian lives. Or does he? Detective Mills is Wrath, John Doe is Envy. Pedro wins the class presidency. As far as I know, _Atlas Shrugged_ never ends. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/115 "2006-06-23T01:18:11Z")
She’s ready for her close-up. The cabdriver is a coffee pot. They’ve done just what they set out to do. It’s HEDLEY. He can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids. They wind up back in the wardrobe. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/116 "2006-06-23T01:27:57Z")
The kids discover One-Eyed Willy’s treasure and use it buy off the developers. The teenage son somehow managed to make it to his grandparents even though the aliens should have killed him 20 times over. Ripley has an alien in her. Ripley is a clone, is part alien, and shows lesbian tendencies. It is a spider. Alanis Morrisett is God. A cop kills Radio Raheem. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/117 "2006-06-23T01:48:15Z")
He breaks his glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/118 "2006-06-23T02:05:20Z")
Wire hangers really set her off. ---
**Author:** ![Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5e9695/32.png) [@Licentious\_Ectomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Licentious_Ectomorph)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/119 "2006-06-23T02:05:57Z")
He kisses her, and she forgets his secret identity. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/120 "2006-06-23T02:07:28Z")
She does. They’re the same person. Everyone gets arrested before they can get to Castle Aaargh. He misses. It’s in a crate somewhere in a Government Warehouse in Washington, D.C. “Let me tell you about the time I almost died…” They blew it all up! There’s always hope, as long as Kevin Costner is there to save the day… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736.md?page=7)