# Open Spoilers. Don't read! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 22, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736 "2006-06-22T16:40:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/141 "2006-06-23T12:37:37Z")
Mr. Orange is the spy. You don’t get to find out what’s in the briefcase. Turns out the man in the wheelchair isn’t crippled after all. Jews in Space. Superman gets his powers back. The machines rise up and destroy mankind anyway. The secret code was the nursery rhyme he told his daughter. He wakes up in the braindead man’s body in Scotland. It was a far, far better thing he did than ever had he done. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/142 "2006-06-23T12:46:05Z")
Margaret finally gets her period. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/143 "2006-06-23T13:04:09Z")
He don’t know how to quit him. Then he dies, and the other one cries. He loses the case, and the townspeople don’t get their apology. She wins her case, and the townspeople get lots of money. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/144 "2006-06-23T13:05:30Z")
> [@gum](#): > > Oh men, Is that out of a Hitchcock show? Twilight Zone. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/145 "2006-06-23T13:07:39Z")
He never learned how to read music. ---
**Author:** ![gum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bbe5ce/32.png) [@gum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gum)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/146 "2006-06-23T13:23:41Z")
Thanks **Biggirl**. I remember that one. 🙂 . Anna is at the attick ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/147 "2006-06-23T14:31:42Z")
\*The little match girl dies \*The story actually ends \*He becomes Darth Vader \*Gary never get’s to date Karen \*They finally build their house out of bricks \*He gets elected \*And they all lived happily ever after. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/148 "2006-06-23T15:49:37Z")
> [@Smapti](#): > > Jews in Space. I believe we’re also owed a Viking Funeral and _Hitler On Ice_ too, thank you very much. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/149 "2006-06-23T15:59:42Z")
“People can lick, too.” She takes the ribbon off of her neck and her head falls off. There’s a hook hanging from the car door handle. He kept on turning on his headlights to scare the knife-wielding maniac in her backseat. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/150 "2006-06-23T16:06:56Z")
Bill gets Killed. It’s really rabbit season. ---
**Author:** ![Sequent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Sequent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sequent)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/151 "2006-06-23T16:11:14Z")
The aliens, who are so much more advanced than humans that they have learned how to not just travel but to transport entire invasion forces at least hundreds of thousands of light years through space and nearly succeed in wiping out human civilization, are stopped at the very last minute, apparently because in the course of preparing said massive invasion their research failed to reveal that: – they are allergic to air – they are allergic to water – they are vulnerable to computer viruses apparently transmissable via RS-232 ---
**Author:** ![BF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@BF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BF)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/152 "2006-06-23T16:12:59Z")
His Schwartz is bigger, and he gets the girl. He rides off into the sunset, stops, shoots the rope. She the evil asteroid, he gets the girl. He is the last one to step of the field, goes home to a big welcome. He’s the last one left/standing, Troutman escorts him away. ---
**Author:** ![BF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5ac83/32.png) [@BF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BF)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/153 "2006-06-23T16:14:55Z")
> [@BF](#): > > She the evil asteroid, he gets the girl. She **kills** the evil asteroid… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Rachm\_Qoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Rachm\_Qoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachm_Qoch)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/154 "2006-06-23T17:08:38Z")
> [@you with the face](#): > > Margaret finally gets her period. Billy Maplewood finally came. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/155 "2006-06-23T17:11:26Z")
The Judge is actually a cartoon ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/156 "2006-06-23T18:13:32Z")
Even though the good robot us-es defeat the bad robot us-es, their band still sucks, so they go back in time and practice intensely before finally rocking out. ---
**Author:** ![Wnabtokio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Wnabtokio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wnabtokio)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/157 "2006-06-23T18:28:29Z")
He leaves the mustache on. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/158 "2006-06-23T19:48:41Z")
The cavemen died out. Earth was colonized by telephone sanitizers. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/159 "2006-06-23T20:39:20Z")
He leaves her and she throws herself under a train. He’s actually a member of the Thought Police. In the end, God wins. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2006, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736/160 "2006-06-23T21:28:17Z")
Mama socked it to the Harper Valley P.T.A. Reader, she married him. The Bandit outwitted the Sheriff. The sun came up and he spontaneously dessicated. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-dont-read/361736.md?page=9)