# \[OPEN SPOILERS\] Spoil anything. Srsly. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 25, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616 "2008-12-25T03:24:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/1 "2008-12-25T03:24:28Z")
I’m not particularly adverse to spoilers. I propose a walk on the wild side and and have a thread with nothing but spoilage in all its forms. That and I’m waiting for my wife to get off for our Christmas plans. After this post there will be no warning. Clicking in this thread constitutes acceptance of all terms. I’ll go first: **Empire Strikes Back:** “Luke, I am your father.” _Whirrrr Psssst._ **No Country for Old Men:** Llewelyn gets killed 5/6ths of the way through. **Serenity:** Wash get’s killed. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/2 "2008-12-25T03:45:20Z")
Keyser Soze = Verbal Kint. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/3 "2008-12-25T04:11:09Z")
7 pounds, will smith dies and leaves various organs to people who need them I havent even seen the movie or any spoilers ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/4 "2008-12-25T04:14:31Z")
The iceberg wins. ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/5 "2008-12-25T04:15:30Z")
Brad Pitt is just in Edward Norton’s mind, a projection of himself and his actions, in Fight Club. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/6 "2008-12-25T04:21:03Z")
“Rosebud” was his sled. The _Titanic_ sinks. Rhett leaves Scarlett. There you go. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Cuckoorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Cuckoorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cuckoorex)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/7 "2008-12-25T04:23:30Z")
Hitler loses, eventually. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/8 "2008-12-25T04:28:35Z")
Mickey Rourke dies in the ring at the end of _The Wrestler_. In _Doubt_, Meryl Streep gets Philip Seymore Hoffman to leave the school by telling him she knows why he left his last church. After he leaves, she admits that she lied about having talked to the nuns at his last church and that she has doubts. **Critical1** is right about Will Smith in **Seven Pounds**. He killed seven people in a car accident including his wife, so he finds 7 worthy people to repay “7 pounds of flesh,” then kills himself and leaves his organs (for one person, he leaves his house, though). Clint Eastwood gets killed by the gangbangers at the end of _Grand Torino_. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/9 "2008-12-25T04:50:49Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > **Serenity:** Wash get’s killed. Guess he wasn’t “too pretty to die.” ☹ Wile E. Coyote doesn’t catch Road Runner. ---
**Author:** ![Leiko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Leiko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leiko)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/10 "2008-12-25T04:51:15Z")
Fry is Lars. Potter saves the Stone, indirectly killing Flanel and his wife. Potter saves the girl by killing a diary. Sirius didn’t kill Peter but he wanted too. Wormtail kills Cedric. Bellatrix kills Sirius. Snape kills Dumbledore. Nagini kills Snape. The good guys win and despite everything that should cause long-lasting PTSD, live their life in the manner of a cheesy epilogue The Voyager gets home to the Alpha Quadrant. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/11 "2008-12-25T04:59:09Z")
Soylent Green=People The girl’s really a boy The dead person Haley Joel saw was Bruce Willis all along The planet of the apes is Earth. Those maniacs blew it up. Damn them all hell! ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/12 "2008-12-25T05:03:18Z")
Obama won. On the fictional West Wing John Spencer dies after becoming the Veep nominee. Toby Zeigler gave the secret to the extra space shuttle and the president pardons him. CJ marries the red headed guy from the press corps after becoming Chief of Staff during the president’s second term. Donna Moss finally sleeps with Josh Lyman who joins the Santos campaign. Moss becomes Mrs. Santos’s Chief of Staff. Charlie goes to Georgetown Law. Mrs. Landingham gets killed in a car crash but shows up on Desperate Housewives. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Falling\_Reverend](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aca169/32.png) [@The\_Falling\_Reverend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Falling_Reverend)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/13 "2008-12-25T05:49:12Z")
Slim Pickens Rides the bomb down, Doomsday Machine finishes the rest of us off. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/14 "2008-12-25T06:33:15Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > **Critical1** is right about Will Smith in **Seven Pounds**. He killed seven people in a car accident including his wife, so he finds 7 worthy people to repay “7 pounds of flesh,” then kills himself and leaves his organs (for one person, he leaves his house, though). oh SNAP! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/15 "2008-12-25T06:40:21Z")
Jesus gets better. Everybody dies. Narnia is destroyed, but all the characters you like are happy in the Real Narnia/Earth… except Susan- who knows how she’ll end up? Frodo almost falls prey to the Ring. Gollum fights him for it & plunges to death with it. Frodo & Sam return, lead a revolt against Saruman, restore the Shire to Aragorn’s Kingdom, and eventually F & the Elves sail off to Heaven. Arthur falls to Mordred & he is taken for burial (?) to Avalon by the Women, from where he shall someday return. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/16 "2008-12-25T06:43:58Z")
The Martians haven’t landed. It’s only a radio show. It wasn’t Baby Jane’s fault. It’s a cookbook. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/17 "2008-12-25T07:24:53Z")
**Lobohan,** too bad you didn’t start this thread earlier. I could’ve gotten you [this t-shirt](http://www.threadless.com/product/844/Spoilt#zoom) as a Christmas gift. Anyway: Norman Bates and his mother share the same mental space. Chief Dudley Smith was behind everything. Evelyn Mulwray’s sister is also her daughter. The falcon is a fake. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/18 "2008-12-25T07:33:07Z")
The snarky professor in 5 Corners gets an arrow in the back before he can hand out the grades. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/19 "2008-12-25T09:11:42Z")
Kevin Costner was the spy. Morrison never told you which girl was black and which was white. You just assumed. (Actually, that isn’t even in the story.) ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616/20 "2008-12-25T16:54:39Z")
“[Spoiler Alert](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofO7__62X2c)” by Tom Smith \*\*\* Ponder [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/open-spoilers-spoil-anything-srsly/478616.md?page=2)