# Opening Day
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601
**Category:** The Game Room
**Created:** [March 31, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601 "2011-03-31T04:26:34Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/1 "2011-03-31T04:26:34Z")
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> I believe in the Church of Baseball. I’ve tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there’s no guilt in baseball, and it’s never boring… which makes it like sex. There’s never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn’t have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I’d never sleep with a player hitting under .250… not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there’s a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I’ve got a ballplayer alone, I’ll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. 'Course, a guy’ll listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. 'Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God’s sake? It’s a long season and you gotta trust. I’ve tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.
Annie Savoy, _Bull Durham_
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> “You can’t sit on a lead and run a few plays into the line and just kill the clock. You’ve got to throw the ball over the damn plate and give the other man his chance. That’s why baseball is the greatest game of them all.”
Earl Weaver
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### Author:  [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/2 "2011-03-31T04:41:46Z")
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> It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone."
Bart Giamatti.
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### Author:  [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/3 "2011-03-31T05:32:09Z")
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> The home opener is always fun, whether its at home or on the road.
-Yogi Berra
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> You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.
-Casey Stengel
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### Author:  [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/4 "2011-03-31T12:43:42Z")
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> People will come Ray. The one constant through all the years, Ray, has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past, Ray. It reminds of us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh… people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.
_Field of Dreams_
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> Let’s go Mets!
Me, entirely optimistic for this one day.
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### Author:  [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/5 "2011-03-31T12:52:38Z")
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> This is a game to be savored, not gulped. There’s time to discuss everything between pitches or between innings
. ~Bill Veeck
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### Author:  [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/6 "2011-03-31T13:36:15Z")
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> Baseball is not a matter of life or death. It’s more important than that.
- Anonymous
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### Author:  [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/7 "2011-03-31T13:36:32Z")
“This is the old left-hander, rounding third and heading for home”
-Joe Nuxhall
“And THIS one belongs to the Reds!”
-Marty Brennaman
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### Author:  [@Jas09](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jas09)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/8 "2011-03-31T13:42:45Z")
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> A hit up the middle right now would be like a nice ham sandwich and a cold, frosty one.
~ Mike Shannon
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> People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.
~ Rogers Hornsby
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/9 "2011-03-31T14:14:00Z")
“It’s time for Dodger baseball!”
-Vin Scully
A glorious day. Tomorrow, the Dodgers will be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
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### Author:  [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/10 "2011-03-31T14:25:53Z")
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> With those who don’t give a damn about baseball, I can only sympathize. I do not resent them. I am even willing to concede that many of them are physically clean, good to their mothers and in favor of world peace. But while the game is on, I can’t think of anything to say to them.
~Art Hill
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> During my 18 years I came to bat almost 10,000 times. I struck out about 1,700 times and walked maybe 1,800 times. You figure a ballplayer will average about 500 at bats a season. That means I played seven years without ever hitting the ball.
~Mickey Mantle, 1970
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> Don’t tell me about the world. Not today. It’s springtime and they’re knocking baseball around fields where the grass is damp and green in the morning and the kids are trying to hit the curve ball.
~Pete Hamill
I love that last one - first time I’ve seen it.
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### Author:  [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/11 "2011-03-31T14:35:28Z")
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> The true harbinger of spring is not crocuses or swallows returning to Capistrano, but the sound of the bat on the ball.
– Bill Veeck
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### Author:  [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/12 "2011-03-31T14:41:47Z")
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> Well, beat the drum and hold the phone
> The sun came out today
> We’re born again, there’s new grass on the field
- John Fogerty, “Centerfield”
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### Author:  [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/13 "2011-03-31T14:43:15Z")
> [@silenus](#):
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> A glorious day. Tomorrow, the Dodgers will be mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.
That’s ok, the Nats have already been eliminated.
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### Author:  [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/14 "2011-03-31T14:51:34Z")
It’s my year, baby! I have John Lester _and_ David Price on my fantasy team!
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### Author:  [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/15 "2011-03-31T14:52:49Z")
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> Do they still play the blues in Chicago
> When baseball season rolls around
> When the snow melts away,
> Do the Cubbies still play
> In their ivy-covered burial ground
> When I was a boy they were my pride and joy
> But now they only bring fatigue
> To the home of the brave
> The land of the free
> And the doormat of the National League
- “A Dying Cubs Fan’s last Request” - Steve Goodman
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### Author:  [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/16 "2011-03-31T14:59:27Z")
> [@Telemark](#):
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> - “A Dying Cubs Fan’s last Request” - Steve Goodman
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> Go Cubs Go
> Go Cubs Go
> Hey Chicago, what do you say
> The Cubs are gonna win today!
- Also Steve Goodman, and if you’re a Cubs fan, the contradiction makes perfect sense!
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### Author:  [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/17 "2011-03-31T15:43:51Z")
> [@Wheelz](#):
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> - Also Steve Goodman, and if you’re a Cubs fan, the contradiction makes perfect sense!
I almost quoted that song instead. 🙂
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### Author:  [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/18 "2011-03-31T16:02:11Z")
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> Let’s play two.
- Ernie Banks
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### Author:  [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/19 "2011-03-31T16:32:38Z")
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> If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.
Dave Barry
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### Author:  [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)
#### Post date: [March 31, 2011, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opening-day/576601/20 "2011-03-31T17:02:31Z")
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> A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
-Earl Wilson
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> A critic once characterized baseball as six minutes of action crammed into two-and-one-half hours.
-Ray Fitzgerald
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> There are two theories on hitting the knuckleball. Unfortunately, neither of them work.
-Charlie Lau
On preview I removed the Dave Barry quote since \*\*BobLibDem \*\*got there first.
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