# Opinions on a dating situation **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 26, 2008, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558 "2008-11-26T15:26:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/21 "2008-11-27T16:24:39Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > I’m so glad it went well, both for your sake in the romance department, and to fight the ignorance that a person in a wheelchair is “all messed up”. After 10 years in a wheelchair, a person is generally at the point where, as you noted, a very small percentage of their life actually needs to focus on the wheelchair/injury itself. > > Will there be an in-person meeting now? I sure hope so. He hasn’t dated much recently, so I think he may take it more slowly than someone who has been “in the pool,” so to speak. But we are definitely going to be talking. I am so hopeful. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/22 "2008-11-27T16:41:29Z")
Good luck, **Rascal’s Mom**. I hope this works out for you. ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2008, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/23 "2008-11-27T16:53:39Z")
> [@Aesiron](#): > > Good luck, **Rascal’s Mom**. I hope this works out for you. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/24 "2008-12-24T03:26:00Z")
I hope it isn’t too late to revive this thread. I don’t know if there is a rule on it. We are now what I would call dating, for the past month, and it is very happy and fun. And I have to say, every single thing you people have said is spot on. He is very up front. But it isn’t by far a main focus in our interactions. He is very funny and entertaining. Tonight he was telling me tales of his early teens, pre-accident, and his adventures around Madison. And honestly, it seems that the biggest effect his disability has on our relationship is that it takes longer to get somewhere, and with the crappy weather we are having, it may rule out some interaction. Neither of these are deal breakers. **Jelly Roll** , could you PM me please? I have some questions. I was, well, not shocked, but something, to see that **Jesus Harold Christ** has been banned since this thread. His post seriously had me burning. And thank everyone for their thoughtful responses. This is going to be my happiest Christmas in memory. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/25 "2008-12-24T03:33:53Z")
> [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](#): > > And thank everyone for their thoughtful responses. This is going to be my happiest Christmas in memory. I’m so pleased. ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/26 "2008-12-24T03:41:18Z")
I am too. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/27 "2008-12-24T03:48:57Z")
Hurray for happy endings! ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/28 "2008-12-24T03:57:29Z")
Oh, this is just the beginning. Thanks, **Auto** , hon. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/29 "2008-12-24T03:59:25Z")
I’ve actually wanted to bump this thread for the past week or so to ask for an update but was hesitant in case it didn’t turn out well. I’m glad I was just being overly cautious. Hope it continues to go well for you. ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/30 "2008-12-24T04:13:18Z")
Thanks **Aesiron** , I appreciated your earlier comment. You coulda bumped any time! You warm my heart, honestly. I love this place. The Dope is just awesome, gotta say. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/31 "2008-12-24T04:14:18Z")
I missed this thread the first time around, but I’m glad to hear that things are working out for you two. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/32 "2008-12-24T04:46:32Z")
I used to work with people with spinal cord injuries. There is some great information here: > **[Spinal Cord Injury Model System | UAB](https://www.uab.edu/medicine/sci/)** > > University of Alabama at Birmingham Spinal Cord Injury Model System (UAB-SCIMS) maintains this Information Network as a resource to promote knowledge in the areas of research, health and quality of life for people with spinal cord injuries, their... Good luck to the two of you! Ain’t romance grand? ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/33 "2008-12-24T16:35:18Z")
Oh, 'tis. Going to wrap presents at his house today if it stops snowing. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/34 "2008-12-24T16:43:13Z")
This is so awesome! I started dating my now-husband about a month before Christmas, too, and it just makes this time of year so special. Merry merry! ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/35 "2008-12-24T23:05:19Z")
I didn’t see this thread the first time around…so how nice to find out how things went without any waiting! 😉 Best of luck to you, **Rascal’s Mom!** This thread makes me happy. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/36 "2008-12-24T23:29:46Z")
Just stopping by to point out the case of warm fuzzies you gave me, **RM**. Merry Christmas! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/37 "2008-12-24T23:40:48Z")
Thanks for the udpdate, **Rascal’s Mom** (I like hearing how stories, not end, but move on from our discussions here). ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/38 "2008-12-25T03:34:29Z")
Thanks, guys! We had such an amazing afternoon. Got all his presents wrapped, had some kaluhua (I am sure that’s not spelled right), I came home to attend a party of my own, then came home and called him and spent an hour and a half on the phone with him. We will be spending New Year’s Eve together. Garsh, life is good. Thanks for all your kind words and advice. Everyone, have an amazing Christmas, k? Apparently I will be.😛 ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/39 "2008-12-25T04:17:26Z")
I missed this thread the first time around but I wanted to give you some holiday cheers and kudos. I dated a guy in a wheelchair for several months. We split for other reasons, but he was definitely one of the nicest, most giving guys I ever dated, the kind who I would say to my female friends “didn’t work for me, you should go out with him!” He was also hilarious, and his complete comfort laughing at himself put everyone at ease. I’m glad you didn’t let a disability keep you from a great guy as well. Good luck to you both. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2008, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558/40 "2008-12-25T05:55:20Z")
When someone has any disability you be frank with them. You say “look I’ve never dated anyone in a wheelchair, I will need your help to know what’s expected of me.” And tell them if you have a question ASK them Remember people with disabilities will have good and bad days. They may be fine with it one day and bad with it the next. But that’s like anyone. And remember never condescend to anyone, that helps no one. I have worked with people with disabilities and even mentally handicapped and mildy retarded and the thing that kind of shocked me is not only can they be nice, but they can be jerks too. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-a-dating-situation/474558.md?page=3)