It’s not going to work unless you really want to lose the weight. if vunderbob’s wife doesn’t want to lose, the surgery would be a waste. In fact, I don’t think she’d pass the psychological evaluation that was required by the insurance company and the clinic. I almost didn’t pass it, because the psychiatrist felt that though I had tried many different diet plans and strategies before, I hadn’t stuck with them. When we discussed that I hadn’t stuck with them because they didn’t work, and that I could stick to the plan, she approved me. It was a little more complicated than that, but on every section of the evaluation I had scored very well…so normal, in fact, that she had trouble finding anything to discuss with me. Compliance was her only concern. Anyone who has scores that indicate problems would have a much harder time getting approved.
In theory, if you just eat tiny portions, avoid the wrong foods and exercise, you could lose the weight. And after surgery, when I was satisfied after a small portion, I asked myself the same thing. But the reality is that without the surgery, your body isn’t satisfied, and there is nothing but willpower to keep you from eating just a bit more, and a bit more. The hunger pangs when you are trying to limit yourself are awful. The cravings are intense. You think about nothing else. For someone who has to lose a lot, the stress of eating so little when your body is doubled up in hunger is immense. And then to be rewarded, at the end of the week with a weight loss of a pound or two is depressing.
With the surgery, the results are so dramatic and immediate that I at least am eager to stick with the restrictions. And there are no cravings. I’m full, satisfied, and the thought of another bite is non-existent. I’m aware that the cravings may return, but by then I will be more able to handle them appropriately. And you are encouraged to develop other ways of coping…hobbies, activities, etc. to deal with your needs that were met by food before.
My friend had the surgery two years ago, and lost 120 pounds. If you look at her plate at a potluck dinner (as I have) you wouldn’t know she was restricted in what she can eat. But now she eats a normal amount. After the first few months, you are back to eating three meals a day, about 1-1/2 to 2 cups per meal. You can’t shovel it in in a hurry…you have to take time and eat more slowly, pacing it out to 30-45 minutes per meal. And you have to exercise. But you are able to exercise!
It’s not for everyone. And it helps to have support. I was shocked to hear people in my group talking about husbands who are reluctant to lose weight because people will treat them differently…“He won’t be Big Dan anymore” was one comment. They were afraid they would lose friends if they lost weight. And our group leader said his personality changed with his weight loss. Now he’s not a skinny guy, but he has lost (I might be wrong) over 250 pounds. And he says he will not be ignored anymore, like he was when he was huge. He is more confident, very outgoing and extremely funny. Fortunately for me, all my friends have been supportive, as have my family. The only person NOT thrilled has been my ex-husband (the man who left me in part because of my weight, who tried to sabotage every serious weight loss attempt). He’s worried I’m losing weight too fast. Didn’t want me fat, but doesn’t want me to lose. He has more problems than me!
