# Opinions on choosing an Eternity Ring **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 17, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252 "2016-11-17T13:48:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/1 "2016-11-17T13:48:34Z")
My ten year wedding anniversary is approaching, and I’ve set my mind on buying my wife an eternity ring. I believe I have decent taste when it comes to jewellery, but I’m curious to hear from the doper ladies particularly about whether you’d be OK to be surprised with an eternity ring or would rather have input into the choice? ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/2 "2016-11-17T15:25:08Z")
I would never buy someone a gift with the expectation that they would publicly display it. And I wouldnt want to receive one. She will feel forced to wear it, even if she would prefer not to add additional bling, not of her choice, to her appearance. Also, dont be a dupe to the jewelry industry by jumping on a self-serving fad that they have created. ---
**Author:** ![Zuzu\_s\_Petals](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@Zuzu\_s\_Petals](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zuzu_s_Petals)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/3 "2016-11-17T15:36:23Z")
I’d love an eternity ring, particularly one that my husband had chosen for me. But then, he knows my taste in jewellery very well. If you know your wife’s taste, I’d say go for it, but keep the receipt so that you can exchange it if need be. You should get massive brownie points for this. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/4 "2016-11-17T15:49:33Z")
Get feed-back from your lady. Seriously. If I had a dollar for every time a girlfriend bemoaned her significant other getting her unwanted/ugly jewelry, I’d be rich. That said, my own wedding ring has a bunch of flat-set stones, though not all the way around. Gunk gets stuck in-between the set stones constantly, and it requires regular cleaning. It is nice if she works with her hands, as there’s nothing to catch on things… But, maybe she’d rather have a nice pendant or a set of earrings, instead? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/5 "2016-11-17T16:00:07Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > My ten year wedding anniversary is approaching, and I’ve set my mind on buying my wife an eternity ring. > > I believe I have decent taste when it comes to jewellery, but I’m curious to hear from the doper ladies particularly about whether you’d be OK to be surprised with an eternity ring or would rather have input into the choice? What’s your budget? ---
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/6 "2016-11-17T16:11:25Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > What’s your budget? Looking at circa £1,000, but probably happy to go up to £2k if the right ring jumped out at me. ---
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/7 "2016-11-17T16:17:19Z")
> [@Waxwinged](#): > > It is nice if she works with her hands, as there’s nothing to catch on things… But, maybe she’d rather have a nice pendant or a set of earrings, instead? She’s ‘hinted’ more than once in the past about wanting an eternity ring to match her engagement and wedding bands, so I know I’m on pretty safe ground with a ring. I’m leaning towards a channel set, but I’ll keep that in mind about the cleaning problem. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/8 "2016-11-17T16:17:56Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > Looking at circa £1,000, but probably happy to go up to £2k if the right ring jumped out at me. Are there no places she has always wanted to travel to, where the two of you could share experiences together that would be remembered “forever”? Is there maybe something she always wanted to do, but never had the time or budget to do it? In my opinion rings and such are…o.k., but shared events leave a greater impact. edited to add: I see that you’ve posted that she wants the ring…but I would still spend 1/2 to 2/3 on the ring and the rest on something else for her. ---
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/9 "2016-11-17T16:20:32Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > I would never buy someone a gift with the expectation that they would publicly display it. And I wouldnt want to receive one. She will feel forced to wear it, even if she would prefer not to add additional bling, not of her choice, to her appearance. > > Also, dont be a dupe to the jewelry industry by jumping on a self-serving fad that they have created. I have no expectation that she has to show it off. I do know for a fact though that she would like a ring to add to her wedding and engagement bands. So I’m on safe ground there really. ---
**Author:** ![GreedySmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a698b9/32.png) [@GreedySmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreedySmurf)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/10 "2016-11-17T16:26:50Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Are there no places she has always wanted to travel to, where the two of you could share experiences together that would be remembered “forever”? Is there maybe something she always wanted to do, but never had the time or budget to do it? > In my opinion rings and such are…o.k., but shared events leave a greater impact. > edited to add: I see that you’ve posted that she wants the ring…but I would still spend 1/2 to 2/3 on the ring and the rest on something else for her. Funny you say that. We’ve recently uprooted our lives in Australia to move to the UK for a few years with one of our top reasons for doing so being travel. In this case it’s definitely not a case of the ring or a holiday, as we gradually make our way through the ‘travel list’, which is seriously extensive. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/11 "2016-11-17T16:27:19Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > I have no expectation that she has to show it off. I do know for a fact though that she would like a ring to add to her wedding and engagement bands. So I’m on safe ground there really. OK, we know the lady would like another ring. Could you take pictures of the existing jewelry & let a jeweler pick something “harmonious”? Perhaps go to the place that sold the other rings? Or even get her to drop a few more hints–since she’s already dropped a few. (Better than dropping _no_ hints & getting mad when receiving a state-of-the-art vacuum cleaner.) When making the purchase, do ask about the return policy in case you get it wrong. If the jeweler knows you’ll be coming back to switch rings, it’s not the same as asking about a refund. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/12 "2016-11-17T16:27:23Z")
Isn’t an “Eternity Ring” what a wedding ring is already supposed to be? What’s the new ring supposed to mean, “Well, I didn’t really mean it ten years ago, but now I really do, honest”? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/13 "2016-11-17T16:38:55Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > Funny you say that. We’ve recently uprooted our lives in Australia to move to the UK for a few years with one of our top reasons for doing so being travel. In this case it’s definitely not a case of the ring or a holiday, as we gradually make our way through the ‘travel list’, which is seriously extensive. 🙂 Then there you go-Give her a surprise trip to go with the ring. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/14 "2016-11-17T16:56:30Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Isn’t an “Eternity Ring” what a wedding ring is already supposed to be? What’s the new ring supposed to mean, “Well, I didn’t really mean it ten years ago, but now I really do, honest”? It’s the “Jewelry industry wants to sell more rings” ring 🙂 But if the lady wants rings I suppose I can’t blame her. Not what my wife would want but then **GreedySmurf** is not married to my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/15 "2016-11-17T17:29:21Z")
“Mommy, last night I saw you in bed with Daddy, and he had his boy thing in your mouth. That’s not how you get a baby.” “Correct, dear. That’s not how you get a baby. That’s how you get jewelry.” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/16 "2016-11-17T17:48:32Z")
I’m not sure how anyone can, in good conscience, support the diamond industry these days. ---
**Author:** ![yellowjacketcoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/4bbf92/32.png) [@yellowjacketcoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowjacketcoder)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/17 "2016-11-17T18:08:56Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > I’m not sure how anyone can, in good conscience, support the diamond industry these days. Not all engagement/wedding/whatever rings have diamonds. Even those that do, can have lab-grown diamonds that have no worry about being blood diamonds. Unless you’re referring to the exorbitant price, which I would agree with, but is not relevant to someone buying a ring for aesthetic purposes. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/18 "2016-11-17T18:19:59Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > She’s ‘hinted’ more than once in the past about wanting an eternity ring to match her engagement and wedding bands, so I know I’m on pretty safe ground with a ring. > > I’m leaning towards a channel set, but I’ll keep that in mind about the cleaning problem. Prong-set eternity rings are uncomfortable to wear, because they rub on your fingers on either side, and they also snag on everything like clothes and hair. Go with the channel set in the same cut of diamonds and metal as her wedding set, and maybe throw in an ultrasonic jewelry cleaner. They aren’t very expensive and she can use them for the rest of her jewelry, too. (PS, what’s with all the judgemental business towards \*\*GreedySmurf \*\*for how he chooses to spend his own money, or his wife for happening to like jewelry even though you or your wives don’t? Not nice.) ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/19 "2016-11-17T19:05:09Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > “Mommy, last night I saw you in bed with Daddy, and he had his boy thing in your mouth. That’s not how you get a baby.” > > “Correct, dear. That’s not how you get a baby. That’s how you get jewelry.” > > Regards, > Shodan Classy. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252/20 "2016-11-17T19:16:05Z")
> [@GreedySmurf](#): > > My ten year wedding anniversary is approaching, and I’ve set my mind on buying my wife an eternity ring. > > I believe I have decent taste when it comes to jewellery, but I’m curious to hear from the doper ladies particularly about whether you’d be OK to be surprised with an eternity ring or would rather have input into the choice? I would not be okay with it, but my husband knows this about me. However, as a former jewelry seller I can attest that millions of women WOULD be okay with it, and also, buy it someplace with a return policy (which is most jewelers) (but not most pawnshops). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-on-choosing-an-eternity-ring/772252.md?page=2)