# Opinions please \[Wife hanging out with guys\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 17, 2016, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916 "2016-12-17T07:33:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2016, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/21 "2016-12-17T18:54:22Z")
> [@Me\_Billy](#): > > … > If you are really concerned, then get one of these… > [https://www.amazon.com/Deluxe-Locking-Womens-Chastity-Black/dp/B008L1EQD2](https://www.amazon.com/Deluxe-Locking-Womens-Chastity-Black/dp/B008L1EQD2) I assumed amazon didn’t sell things up that alley so to speak. I learn something new here every day. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2016, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/22 "2016-12-17T19:04:47Z")
I may be a little old fashion but I don’t think your lady should be out drinking with the guys and being playful while you are working. On the other hand she should be making that decision on her own. This may leave you with some decisions you need to make. ---
**Author:** ![CuriouslyMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c0e974/32.png) [@CuriouslyMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriouslyMe)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/23 "2016-12-18T12:25:06Z")
I appreciate the replies. That is what I asked for. Maybe yes. I am a little old fashion, and I don’t think that my wife should go out there drinking with a bunch of guys. I wanted opinions and I got them. Of course I worry about the alcohol and inhibitions being lost, but I trust my wife. I guess the concern is, in my old fashion ways, I will never put her in the situation to worry about me hanging with the ladies and drinking without her (the wife) being there and privy to all that goes on. I don’t have lunch/breakfast with anyone. Old fashioned enough that I cannot figure out how to post a picture. If I can figure out how to post pictures, I will. ---
**Author:** ![Heracles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heracles/32/487_2.png) [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/24 "2016-12-18T14:20:42Z")
> [@CuriouslyMe](#): > > Old fashioned enough that I cannot figure out how to post a picture. > > If I can figure out how to post pictures, I will. I think that request for a picture was made in jest. Most people choose to maintain a certain degree of anonymity on this board. Welcome, by the way! ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/25 "2016-12-18T14:36:05Z")
Have you flat out asked her; “Hey, like, how worried should I be about you hanging/drinking with these nice men?” That would be my approach! Good Luck! (And welcome!) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/26 "2016-12-18T14:58:05Z")
Nobody can post pictures on this site. What you can do is post them on any photo sharing site then paste the url of the photo on that site into a post here. It’s good to make sure the link will work for people who aren’t members of that site. And like folks above said, the request for pix was a joke; we always ask for pix of cute women. Sounds like it might be time for you and wife to have a conversation about old-fashionedness. It’s not about trust or faithfulness, it’s about appearances. In a good marriage, both parties want to manage their own behavior for the benefit of the other. But they also don’t want to make their own demands about the other’s behavior become too restrictive or foreign to the other’s nature. There \*should \*be a happy medium with some of each in each direction, but not too much. It works best when both of you are similar across the board. It also works better when both of you can talk about this stuff in plain English with no anger. Which usually means talking about it before there’s some controversial incident to trigger that anger. And not when either has been drinking. Man up and have that chat. ---
**Author:** ![CuriouslyMe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c0e974/32.png) [@CuriouslyMe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriouslyMe)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2016, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/27 "2016-12-18T22:13:37Z")
I appreciate the responses and I did have that chat, before I joined this forum. She told me she loved me and I had nothing to worry about. I just wanted to know if I was wrong for feeling uncomfortable about it. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/28 "2016-12-19T03:41:36Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Either you trust her or you don’t. > > Trust her not to cheat. Trust her to look after herself. Trust her to spot trouble arising and exit if needs be. > > She doesn’t know who you’re congregating with at your lunch time etc, so she seems to trust you. > > Do you reciprocate? I don’t think it’s an issue of trust. But the OP is working late of Fridays and she obviously gets bored sitting around waiting for him. Seems to me, spending enough time getting drunk and flirting with guys at the local RV bar, it’s only a matter of time before she decides she finds a guy to relieve the boredom. I mean no one says “I’m going to get drunk and fuck some dude who isn’t my husband”. It always starts out harmlessly enough, just having a few drinks and flirting. Then one day, she connects with a guy while the husband is off working late as usual and it’s like “well…he’s always away anyway…” ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/29 "2016-12-19T12:31:03Z")
Back before cellphones it was normal in my industry to leave home, be gone 3 to 6 days, then return at whatever expected time, say next Tuesday around 3pm. All with little practical ability for you to phone home nor home to phone you. Long distance was a nuisance to use, expensive to buy, and you were a constantly moving target. So the cultural expectation on both sides was that you just disappeared into \*incommunicado \*space and then eventually returned. Calls while out traveling were saved for things like crashed cars, hospitalizations, and major plumbing disasters. Not just chitchat. Getting that message from HQ: “Phone home” always triggered a big lump in the throat. There was a saying in that era: “Spend a dime; Save a marriage.” If for some reason you were ever coming home earlier than planned, whether by half an hour or two full days, \*always \*spend that dime in a payphone before leaving work to give wife (always wife in those days) the news you’ll be home soon and give her time to hide the evidence. Words to live by for an entire industry for many decades. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/30 "2016-12-19T12:43:13Z")
Hell, it might not even have been evidence of wrongdoing, just of not having cleaned up in a while, or warning to make sure the pretty nightie was washed. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/31 "2016-12-19T12:52:08Z")
I’d say you should be bothered if you’re at home with her of an evening, and she wants to go out and hang out with those guys instead. Other than that, not so much. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/32 "2016-12-19T15:29:03Z")
Woman here: There’s nothing wrong with being worried, you feel what you feel. But if I were in her situation, I would go hang out with the locals and I wouldn’t go home with any of them. I’d just socialize until I went home, alone, to my own bed. If there are several guys there, she has some “safety in numbers”, at least, if they are reasonable, decent guys. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/33 "2016-12-19T16:42:04Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > I’d say you should be bothered if you’re at home with her of an evening, and she wants to go out and hang out with those guys instead. Other than that, not so much. Heh, excellent observation! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/34 "2016-12-19T17:49:52Z")
Without even opening the thread, I knew there would be a December 2016 join date. Hot diggety, I must be psychic. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/35 "2016-12-19T18:20:05Z")
Attractive, flirtatious, isolated, bored wife and she has the opportunity to go somewhere she will be receiving massive, focused male gaze attention from bored, horny men who are probably hoping they can work out a way to get into her panties. And they are all drinking. And her husband is off site for a known pre-determined period of time. Well… good luck with this situation. You can’t tell her not to socialize but it’s an awful lot of temptation to wade through you have created for her with your living situation. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/36 "2016-12-19T18:27:41Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Without even opening the thread, I knew there would be a December 2016 join date. Hot diggety, I must be psychic. This is the second time in a few days I have heard a December 2016 join date referenced to indicate the OP is sketchy. Why? What’s up with it being weird with someone joining to ask a question, or is there some “Dear Penthouse” vibe I’m missing here. ---
**Author:** ![Doyle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doyle/32/439_2.png) [@Doyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doyle)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/37 "2016-12-19T18:37:14Z")
I too have a beautiful wife and is always getting hit on, even at 55. Difference is she wouldn’t consider going down there without me. I have never had any concerns of infidelity but I do worry about her safety. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/38 "2016-12-19T18:37:59Z")
> [@astro](#): > > This is the second time in a few days I have heard a December 2016 join date referenced to indicate the OP is sketchy. Why? You know the rules, no one is allowed to be new without being mocked. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/39 "2016-12-19T18:55:36Z")
> [@astro](#): > > This is the second time in a few days I have heard a December 2016 join date referenced to indicate the OP is sketchy. Why? What’s up with it being weird with someone joining to ask a question, or is there some “Dear Penthouse” vibe I’m missing here. It is simply that we are sceptical about folks who join us and immediately post up some very personal information. Unless I missed something, I do not believe the SD comes up high on Google searches for relationship advice. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2016, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916/40 "2016-12-19T18:58:35Z")
> [@astro](#): > > …or is there some “Dear Penthouse” vibe I’m missing here. We knew you’d catch on, sooner or later. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/opinions-please-wife-hanging-out-with-guys/774916.md?page=3)