# OPRAH- It's Not Because You Were Black! Get the Hell Over It! (lame)

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 28, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207 "2005-06-28T15:19:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 9

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### Author: ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/161 "2013-08-11T01:24:10Z")

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> [@xenophon41](#):
>
> I’m sure the thread CPR is due to [this recent incident](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-23633768). (Again involving a handbag and Tina Turner. Go figure.)

Well. No. Ones. Rich like Oprah!  
Drama-hitched like Oprah!  
With a network incredibly Pitched like Oprah!

There’s no gal in town half-as women-ly  
Perfect! A pure Paragon!  
You can ask any TV guest lately  
And they’ll tell you whose couch they’d be on!

No one’s “She” like Oprah!  
No Queen Bee like Oprah!  
No one’s 12 is touted as size 3 like Oprah!  
“As an Ugly Americans go, I’m Intimidating!!!”  
(Gee, how’s your handbag Oprah?)

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### Author: ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/162 "2013-08-11T01:44:44Z")

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> [@Staggerlee](#):
>
> Is zombie Oprah back for a sequel?

Well, this is more like a phantom of the Oprah.

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### Author: ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/163 "2013-08-11T03:25:11Z")

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> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#):
>
> Well, this is more like a phantom of the Oprah.

With apologies to Charles Hart:

\*\*Profile Me  
\*\*  
Profile me, profile me harshly  
When I’ve come to buy.  
Ignore my fame and my credit-  
Please promise me, you’ll try

Then you’ll find that once again you long  
To see my face on your tv  
If you’ll ever find a moment  
To profile me

I never said my purchases were keen  
Or as mercurial as me  
But if you can still remember  
Stop and profile me

Think of all the things  
I’d come to buy  
Don’t think about the way  
You asked me why

Think of me, think of me shopping  
Silent and resigned  
Imagine me trying too hard  
To keep your options blind

Recall that day, look back on how you pitched  
Those bags I might’ve purchased new  
There will never be a day  
When I won’t profile you…

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### Author: ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/164 "2013-08-11T03:31:09Z")

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_Prima Donna…  
First Lady of Black Rage_

If it wasn’t 11:30 pm already, I swear the parody would be extensive and brilliant.

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### Author: ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/165 "2013-08-11T03:44:49Z")

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'S what Sunday mornings are made for, **Bryan Ekers**!

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### Author: ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/166 "2013-08-11T04:05:14Z")

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Sundays have mornings?

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### Author: ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/167 "2013-08-11T04:15:27Z")

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> [@elucidator](#):
>
> Sundays have mornings?

[Cite](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED5s1-Fe9FA)

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### Author: ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/168 "2013-08-11T04:15:27Z")

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lovely job xenophon!

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### Author: ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/169 "2013-08-11T06:25:37Z")

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_Don’t_ get him started on show tunes!

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### Author: ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/170 "2013-08-11T06:52:12Z")

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How the world has changed since the original thread; Tina Turner is now Swiss, a black man is in the White House but a poor black girl still can’t buy a bag.

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### Author: ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/171 "2013-08-11T14:35:17Z")

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I thought this thread was about Oprah’s recent “troubles,” but no, apparently Oprah has troubles shopping at high-end stores in Europe. As they say, if it keeps happening, the consistent factor is YOU!

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### Author: ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [August 11, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/172 "2013-08-11T15:02:50Z")

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> [@xenophon41](#):
>
> I’m sure the thread CPR is due to [this recent incident](http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-23633768). (Again involving a handbag and Tina Turner. Go figure.)

A glass of race card with a shot of ugly American on the side. Why can’t those people just speak English like everyone else!

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### Author: ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2013, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/173 "2013-08-12T14:58:16Z")

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> [@xenophon41](#):
>
> [Cite](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED5s1-Fe9FA)

And for your daily dose of trivia, that song was written by Kris Kristofferson.

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### Author: ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/174 "2013-08-12T15:26:32Z")

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> [@Zebra](#):
>
> The celeb would or would have a “personal assistant” call ahead and arrange things with management. I’ve had to do this sort of treatment for celebrities before.

What a good job you were able to set matters straight after only an eight-year delay!

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### Author: ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/175 "2013-08-12T15:31:24Z")

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Hermes clothing is worth it.

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### Author: ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2013, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/176 "2013-08-12T15:53:31Z")

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Oprah is diva and attention whore, and is simply looking to stir up some shit for her own benefit.

The sales lady likely hesitated when Oprah asked to see the bag. (I probably would have, too. But not because of racism.) In Opraha’s mind, “This was RACISM by-golly, and the world will soon know what I went through!”

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### Author: ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/177 "2013-08-12T15:56:59Z")

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> [@Crafter\_Man](#):
>
> Oprah is diva and attention whore, and is simply looking to stir up some shit for her own benefit.
> 
> The sales lady likely hesitated when Oprah asked to see the bag. (I probably would have, too. But not because of racism.) In Opraha’s mind, “This was RACISM by-golly, and the world will soon know what I went through!”

By [what?](http://www.gollycorner.co.uk/d_gollyclub.htm) :eek:

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### Author: ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [August 12, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/178 "2013-08-12T17:23:24Z")

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> [@Sattua](#):
>
> The point, as the OP oh-so-clearly explained, is that the French DON’T KNOW WHO OPRAH IS. She is not famous in Paris.

She should have worn her Jerry Lewis mask.

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### Author: ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)
#### Post date: [August 14, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/179 "2013-08-14T01:58:16Z")

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A long way from playing Sophia: “Hell no!”

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### Author: ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)
#### Post date: [August 14, 2013, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oprah-its-not-because-you-were-black-get-the-hell-over-it-lame/310207/180 "2013-08-14T10:02:52Z")

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Was the Hermes bag the color purple?

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