# Orcs VS Stormtroopers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 9, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399 "2002-12-09T01:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/1 "2002-12-09T01:04:02Z")
Condsider a battle between an Army of Orcs from LotR and Storm Troopers from Star Wars. Would they all die? Would nobody die? ---
**Author:** ![raisinbread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@raisinbread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raisinbread)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/2 "2002-12-09T01:06:23Z")
The orcs would win because they have more genetic diversity than their white armored opponents. My assertation is based on the assumption that both parties would be similarly armed rather than orcish steel meeting imperial blasters on the field of battle. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/3 "2002-12-09T01:13:12Z")
The stormtroopers would win since the orc’s superior AI would cause them to run away from the battle. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/4 "2002-12-09T01:22:16Z")
Um…Guns vs. arrows? I’d have to say the Stormtroopers. Not to mention they have armor. ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/5 "2002-12-09T01:27:13Z")
Orcs, If a bunch of dinking fuzzy butts can whip storm troopers why not the big bad nasty orcs? Even if it were swords and axes Vs blasters. Lets face it the boys in white cant shoot worth a … well you know you watched the movies. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/6 "2002-12-09T01:43:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Osip \* > \*\*Orcs, > If a bunch of dinking fuzzy butts can whip storm troopers why not the big bad nasty orcs? > > Even if it were swords and axes Vs blasters. > > Lets face it the boys in white cant shoot worth a … well you know you watched the movies. \*\* That’s only if they’re shooting at the main characters. Don’t you remember the battle at the beginning of Starwars where they’re attacking nameless rebel forces? Nary a good guy left alive. While the Fellowship could take on the entire Death Star with a toothpick and win I don’t think orcs would stand a chance. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/7 "2002-12-09T01:46:20Z")
Well, hmm. You’ll have to be more specific. Was it regular garden variety red-eye orcs, or Uruk-hai, or wild goblins from the hills? ---
**Author:** ![raisinbread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@raisinbread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raisinbread)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/8 "2002-12-09T02:26:01Z")
At least the orcs wouldn’t sing the god damned yub yub song after slaughtering the stormtroopers ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/9 "2002-12-09T04:00:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Orcs, > If a bunch of dinking fuzzy butts can whip storm troopers why not the big bad nasty orcs? Good point. So, what about orcs vs. ewoks? ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/10 "2002-12-09T04:23:56Z")
We’ve already seen that orcs can demolish small cute things. I want to see Gandalf fight Obi-Wan. OB: If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can ever imagine. Gandalf: If you strike me down, the Valar will just give me a new body. And I can call upon Eru Ilvutar to smite your undead ass. (Gandalf casts Fireball and Holy Word) ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/11 "2002-12-09T05:36:35Z")
How about Han Solo vs. Strider? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/12 "2002-12-09T05:42:14Z")
Incidentally, I think Han’d just shoot Strider before he got in sword range. ---
**Author:** ![SC\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@SC\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SC_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/13 "2002-12-09T05:52:00Z")
Like in that one bazzar in Cairo? Oh, wait, wrong Harrsion Ford movie. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/14 "2002-12-09T05:54:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kat \* > \*\*Incidentally, I think Han’d just shoot Strider before he got in sword range. \*\* I think you’re thinking of Indiana Jones in _Raiders of the Lost Ark_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/15 "2002-12-09T06:04:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AwSnappity \* > \*\*I think you’re thinking of Indiana Jones in _Raiders of the Lost Ark_. 😉 \*\* Sorry, you’re not allowed to post until you change your name back. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/16 "2002-12-09T14:38:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*Good point. So, what about orcs vs. ewoks? \*\* The orcs would roll on the ground in helpless laughter while the ewoks walked among them and killed them with blunt instruments a 'la Agincourt. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/17 "2002-12-09T17:14:18Z")
I wonder what the St. Crispen’s Day speech sounds like in Ewok? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/18 "2002-12-09T18:12:25Z")
Orcs can occasionally hit their targets, whereas stormtroopers couldn’t hit the broadside of a sandcrawler. Plus, arrows move faster than blaster bolts: Harder to dodge. And there are more orcs. Obi-Wan vs. Gandalf, I’ll decline to comment on, without knowing the motive for the fight. And Aragorn vs. Han would come down to whether Aragorn managed to maintain the element of surprise. Sure, Han could (and unhesitatingly would) blast him from out of sword range… If he knew he was there. How about Wookies vs. Trolls? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/19 "2002-12-09T18:16:08Z")
I want to see that big critter that Jabba the Hutt was keeping in the pit vs. the balrog ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/20 "2002-12-09T18:17:27Z")
Ewoks vs. Tribbles? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399.md?page=2)