# Orcs VS Stormtroopers **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 9, 2002, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399 "2002-12-09T01:04:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/21 "2002-12-09T18:41:00Z")
Boba Fett vs. The Nazgul. (Couldn’t help it.) Saruman vs. Darth Vader Aragorn vs. Darth Maul Um, Ewoks vs. Cave Troll? (hee hee) Sauron vs. Yoda. Ok. This is just too fun. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/22 "2002-12-09T19:14:31Z")
_ahem_ Boba Fett can kill anything except Han Solo. Could he kill Gandalf? Yes. Could he kill Sauron? Yes. Could he kill Manwe? Yes. Period. Full stop. Eagles vs. Millenium Falcon? ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/23 "2002-12-09T19:16:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kat \* > \*\*How about Han Solo vs. Strider? \*\* I’ve got a bad feeling about that. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Zebra_ > **I wonder what the St. Crispen’s Day speech sounds like in Ewok?** I think something like “yub, yub.” ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/24 "2002-12-09T20:21:03Z")
If Boba fought the Nazgul, he would triumph, wounded but not on death’s door. (Torch = burning Nazgul. Boba has blasters/flamethrower). Boba would then take to the air, only to be ambushed by Nazgul on flying steeds. Boba shoots steed. Nazgul go splat. “Hmm. Those rings that these humanoids were wearing look valuable. I’ll think I’ll sell them.” And thusly does Boba Fett take all nine rings of Man. And thusly do the Nine become the (other) One. And thusly does Sauron send the Fellowship a palantir-gram: “You can keep the ring. I have something better now.” ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/25 "2002-12-09T21:15:17Z")
I’m sorry but no mortal man can harm a Nazgul. Bobba Fettish is a mortal man. Therefore Bobba could not defeat a Nazgul. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/26 "2002-12-09T22:33:33Z")
If Strider can drive away Ringwraiths with a torch, Boba can do the same with a flamethrower and blasters. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/27 "2002-12-09T23:25:33Z")
I’m not sure why Strider could drive them away with a torch. That scene is changed a little from the book. Strider is carying the broken sword that is seen later in Rivendale. Also the sword was fixed in Rivendale in the book but not the film. We probably need someone much more steeped in the LotR lore than I to explain. However in RotK Nazguls cannot be harmed by mortal man. This leads to the best lesson in semantics ever. ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2002, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/28 "2002-12-09T23:29:38Z")
Oh thats a bad thought, Boba becoming a Ring Wraith? So much for the fellowship… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/29 "2002-12-10T00:02:17Z")
Think Tag Team. Boba, the Head Wraith and Jaba the Hut vs. Strider, Hans and, oh, say the Lone Ranger. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/30 "2002-12-10T03:50:21Z")
Look at it this way: with any luck, Sauron/Boba would simply show up, grab the ring, and fly off to secure a colony transport for his legions of doom. Then he would bitch-slap Morgoth because he could, and get to work conquering the rest of the galaxy. Ooh! Nazgul Boba vs. the Jedi! Now that would be cool! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/31 "2002-12-10T04:23:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kat \* > \*\*Incidentally, I think Han’d just shoot Strider before he got in sword range. \*\* Yeah, but in the 20th-anniversary edition, an edit will be added so Strider strikes first. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/32 "2002-12-10T04:49:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bryan Ekers \* > \*\*Yeah, but in the 20th-anniversary edition, an edit will be added so Strider strikes first. \*\* Nope, cause the shooting the swordsman bit is from a Spielburg movie. Strider will lop off Han’s head as he pummels him ineffectually with his walkie-talkie. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/33 "2002-12-10T08:31:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Super Gnat \* > \*\*Eagles vs. Millenium Falcon? \*\* The Millenium Falcon would cut loose with its turbolasers and blast the Eagles into atoms before they were more than two bars in “Hotel California.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/34 "2002-12-10T08:38:51Z")
Imagine the Emperor getting the One Ring and the ensuing battle of will with Sauron. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/35 "2002-12-10T10:43:48Z")
How about a Battle of the Bands? The Elves vs. Sy Snootles and the band from Jabba’s palace. Dick Clark could host. ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/36 "2002-12-10T10:59:38Z")
Ancalagon the Black V.S. Millenium Falcon Agent Elrond v.s. Han Solo ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/37 "2002-12-10T12:29:50Z")
The collective evils of Middle Earth and the Galaxy a Long Time ago vs. Ditka and Da Bears. [/SNL] ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/38 "2002-12-10T12:43:49Z")
Da Bears win 60,437 to zero. ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/39 "2002-12-10T13:46:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*I’m sorry but no mortal man can harm a Nazgul. > Bobba Fettish is a mortal man. > Therefore Bobba could not defeat a Nazgul. \*\* _Ahem_ I believe the “no mortal man” thing only applied to _one_ of the Nazgul, the Witch King. Boba could take out the other eight. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399/40 "2002-12-10T13:56:34Z")
OK, CP3O and R2D2 vs. the Nazgul. I would think that would take care of the “mortal man” question, one way or the other, CP3O being a robot and a sissy, and R2D2 being, er, a Pentium X vacumn cleaner. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/orcs-vs-stormtroopers/141399.md?page=3)