# Order of the Stick - Book 5 Discussion Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 31, 2009, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323 "2009-08-31T04:09:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 250
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4982 "2013-02-25T15:17:45Z")
Quartet, more likely. I’m sure Belkar has at some time in the past tasted the blood of his enemies, if only by splatter. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4983 "2013-02-25T15:26:40Z")
> [@Lok](#): > > Oh very funny. But still, yuck. Another reason why spelling is so important. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4984 "2013-02-25T15:28:04Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Quartet, more likely. I’m sure Belkar has at some time in the past tasted the blood of his enemies, if only by splatter. Does the word “salsa” ring a bell? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4985 "2013-02-25T15:31:10Z")
What is the process for turning someone into a vampire in this universe? Any chance Mr. Scruffy might get turned by licking Belkar’s fresh wounds? Because a vampire kitty would be awesome! ---
**Author:** ![AndrewL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@AndrewL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AndrewL)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4986 "2013-02-25T17:09:09Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > What is the process for turning someone into a vampire in this universe? Any chance Mr. Scruffy might get turned by licking Belkar’s fresh wounds? Because a vampire kitty would be awesome! > **[Vampire :: d20srd.org](http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/vampire.htm)** Becoming a vampire requires you to have been deliberately drained to below 0 CON by a vampire. Vampirism in D&D isn’t a blood-born disease, it’s a form of necromancy where a corpse that was killed in a specific way is then animated by necromantic magic and negative energy. Mister Scruffy isn’t in any danger of becoming a vampire, and neither is Belkar unless Malack is able to complete the process. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4987 "2013-02-25T17:14:18Z")
Non-AD&D player here. Probably an obvious question, but what did Durkon’s “Mass Death Ward” do (or try to do) in this context? Was it preventing Malack from draining Belkar to death? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4988 "2013-02-25T17:19:19Z")
> [@choie](#): > > Non-AD&D player here. Probably an obvious question, but what did Durkon’s “Mass Death Ward” do (or try to do) in this context? Was it preventing Malack from draining Belkar to death? [Death Ward](http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/deathWard.htm) > [@](#): > > The subject is immune to all death spells, magical death effects, energy drain, and any negative energy effects. Mass Death Ward is just this spell castable on multiple targets. I assume that Durkon used Mass so as to cover himself and Belkar. So yes, it prevented Malack from draining Belkar’s CON any further. Malack will have to wait (estimating Durkon’s level) around 15 minutes before it wears off to continue converting Belkar (aside from having to deal with Durkon in those 15 minutes). ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4989 "2013-02-25T17:23:05Z")
Is it significant that Malacks staff is shown leaning against the wall a ways back? ---
**Author:** ![Strassia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@Strassia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strassia)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4990 "2013-02-25T20:28:54Z")
Have we been focusing on the wrong prophesy? Is Durkon almost ready to [go home](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0331.html)? Of course if you read that prequel: You know that will end badly for the other dwarves. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4991 "2013-02-25T20:33:53Z")
I can’t help but feel a little blue about the future of Durkon’s relationship with Malack. Malack seems to really feel brotherly affection and esteem for Durkon, and (IMO) would be happy to go on being friends. But Durkon has such a stick up his butt about alignments that I can’t see him ever reconciling himself to Malack’s species. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4992 "2013-02-25T20:39:05Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > But Durkon has such a stick up his butt about alignments that I can’t see him ever reconciling himself to Malack’s species. Well…_condition_ is perhaps more apt. Malack’s species is lizardman, and Durkon can’t help but be aware of that, and it hasn’t posed an impediment to their collegiality before this. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4993 "2013-02-25T20:47:51Z")
Just a thought, but Durkon is quite likely high enough level to _Resurrect_ Malack. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4994 "2013-02-25T20:49:08Z")
> [@Lok](#): > > Oh very funny. But still, yuck. Nothing will ever be as disgusting as the litterbox joke. I am inured from all other gross-out humor in this comic forever. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4995 "2013-02-25T22:41:32Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Just a thought, but Durkon is quite likely high enough level to _Resurrect_ Malack. Resurrect doesn’t work on undead creatures. It will work on the formerly undead, but not ones that are up and about and actively being eldritch mockeries of life. Also, resurrect only works on things that have been dead for ten years per level of the caster. If Malack’s been dead for more than two centuries (give or take), Durkon is too low level to resurrect him, even after his undead form is destroyed. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4996 "2013-02-25T22:55:36Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > But Durkon has such a stick up his butt about alignments that I can’t see him ever reconciling himself to Malack’s species. He’s also been known since [very early in the comic](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0016.html) to really hate undead. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4997 "2013-02-25T23:13:24Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > He’s also been known since [very early in the comic](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0016.html) to really hate undead. And he’s been known for [improbably huge blind spots](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0079.html) when it comes to socializing with evil clerics for almost as long. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4998 "2013-02-25T23:35:39Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > And he’s been known for [improbably huge blind spots](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0079.html) when it comes to socializing with evil clerics for almost as long. It’s not just Durkon. There was Roy’s blindness over Miko and Elan’s blindness over Tarquin. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2013, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/4999 "2013-02-25T23:37:04Z")
Hah! Dang, I had forgotten how silly/funny some of the earlier panels were. Mind you, I think The Giant has become much better at writing since then, but some of the early stuff is rather amusing. And yes, it does appear that our stalwart dwarf is a wee bit prejudiced against undead. I wonder though, does the ‘Rule of Cool’ apply to vampires in this context? My first thought about ‘dwarfish vampire’ was ‘meh’, but I must admit that after further review the combo does sound intriguing. I assume an alignment change to LE would be mandated by the rules. Would Thor be outraged? That particular deity does not appear to be very closely engaged with his clerics or worshipers. He might notice between flagons of mead and send a few thunderbolts to smite the lizard, but I doubt he would take up arms and assault Midgard to avenge a mid-to-high level cleric. The dwarfish cleric of a Norse god who speaks with a Scottish highlander accent gets _Harm! ☹_ instead of _Heal 🙂_. He can raise and command the very beings that he once hated. Does he join the Linear Guild or will he remain as a member of the Order of the Stick? And if both the hairy-footed god of chaos and the aforementioned clerical-unit become ‘children of the night’? As a certain bard might say, “duh duh dunnnnn”. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/5000 "2013-02-26T01:38:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **jayjay** : > > Mass Death Ward is just this spell castable on multiple targets. I assume that Durkon used Mass so as to cover himself and Belkar. Another advantage of the mass versions of most spells is that they don’t require touching the target(s), so you can cast them from a short distance away. And yet another reason might be that clerics have to choose at the beginning of the day which spells they’re going to be able to cast that day, and Durkon might not bother preparing the lower-level single-target Death Ward now that he has the more powerful version. But yeah, protecting both of them (plus probably Mr. Scruffy, plus possibly even Malack to prevent him from healing himself using negative energy spells) is certainly an advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Gray\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323/5001 "2013-02-26T21:20:56Z")
[872](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0872.html) Digging the update rate. Take that, Mr. Glass! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323.md?page=249) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/order-of-the-stick-book-5-discussion-thread/508323.md?page=251)