# Ordered a "special" pizza **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2022, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703 "2022-07-10T14:02:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/61 "2022-07-10T20:28:30Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Small pizzas get cut pie style, large pizzas get cut square style. You can’t argue with Chicagoans about pizza, so stop it. Jeeze Louise. Whether ketchup belongs on a dog, the proper amount of gravy on Italian beef, even the goddam ratio of cheese to caramel on popcorn, and now the proper way to cut pizza. Is there _anything_ culinary Chicagans don’t try to stifle other opinions on? ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/62 "2022-07-10T20:55:07Z")
> [@a6ka97](#): > > > [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > > > “Cut it one more time” is not the same as “cut it into 10 slices the same size.” > > Isn’t implied when you order a pizza that is cut 4 times that you would get 8 similar sized slices of pizza? So if I ask for 1 more cut (5 cuts) it would also be implied that those pieces would be of similar size. With your thinking if a worker was told to cut it 4 times, those 8 slices could vary wildly in size because the specific instructions given did not include “cut it 4 times and make the pieces the same size”. It’s standard to bisect it four times giving you 8 identical sized pieces. Telling them to “cut it one _more_ time” read to me like you want to “cut it one _more_ time” _after_ the standard cut. You did not say, “Cut it five times so I get ten same-sized pieces.” ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/63 "2022-07-10T21:09:18Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Small pizzas get cut pie style, large pizzas get cut square style. You can’t argue with Chicagoans about pizza, so stop it. > 😛 Fortunately, I don’t have to. I let other people do that for me: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/PXOCEcIWiec/maxresdefault.jpg "Cook County Jail: The Best Pizzeria in Chicago: The Daily Show") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXOCEcIWiec) The answer to the conundrum of the o.p. is clearly to purchase five pizzas. There is clearly no other way because of our bizarrely regimented ways of apportioning food. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/64 "2022-07-10T21:16:35Z")
> [@dirtball](#): > > I think I would just ask if they can just send it out without cutting it at all. Then I’ll cut it myself. Or throw it on the roof. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/65 "2022-07-10T21:19:25Z")
Honestly, I’d probably make the same mistake. It does sound like that to me, if we tell you we only serve eight slice pizza, and then you tell me to just make another cut, then I’d probably, well, make another cut after the four standard cuts. It’s clear what’s wanted in retrospect but, honestly, I’m not sure I could cut a pizza in 10 properly without a good chance of screwing it up with wonky sized pieces. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/66 "2022-07-10T21:42:18Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Or throw it on the roof. First you throw a pizza on the roof, next thing you know airliners are crashing out of the sky and retirement homes are exploding. We have standards in civilized society and you do not throw pizza on the roof. Unless it is deep dish, in which case it would probably crash through the roof. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/67 "2022-07-10T21:44:56Z")
> [@abcdefghij](#): > > > [@running\_coach](#): > > > > Dibs on the 5 easy pieces! > > Hold the chicken. You want me to hold the chicken, huh? mmm ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/68 "2022-07-10T21:46:15Z")
No–fucking Midwesterners in general and Chicagoans in particular seem to suffer from some endemic small dick paranoia syndrome that makes them incapable of just shutting the fuck up and appreciating different ways of doing things. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/69 "2022-07-10T21:47:51Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > You want me to hold the chicken, huh? “I want you to hold it between your knees!” > [@SmartAleq](#): > > No–fucking Midwesterners in general and Chicagoans in particular seem to suffer from some endemic small dick paranoia syndrome that makes them incapable of just shutting the fuck up and appreciating different ways of doing things. Midwesterners in general (yes, I grew up there) seem to have very few standards regarding culinary practices as evidenced by the general embrace of Velveeta as an all-purpose go-to for cheese-like medium of food conveyance. And don’t get me started on their vast array of Jello ‘salads’. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/70 "2022-07-10T21:56:46Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > (If you need a spoon, it’s not a shake, it’s a blizzard) But DQ has a copyright on Blizzard, therefore Culvers has Shakes and Concrete Shakes. Ask for a NON-concrete shake. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/71 "2022-07-10T22:27:35Z")
Moderating: > [@SmartAleq](#): > > No–fucking Midwesterners in general and Chicagoans in particular seem to suffer from some endemic small dick paranoia syndrome that makes them incapable of just shutting the fuck up and appreciating different ways of doing things. Chill. This is not the pit. This is just MPSIMS. And that post is a rant. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/72 "2022-07-10T23:02:56Z")
A pentagram here, a pentagram there, see what happens? Now back to the pizza: did it have any pineapple? I mean, if we are going to mess around, go to the end. ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/73 "2022-07-10T23:25:39Z")
I get a rootbeer float at Culver’s if I want an ice-creamy drink that I can still use a straw for. ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/74 "2022-07-10T23:28:27Z")
My local Blackjack Pizza defaults to 10 slices for a large. They aren’t always equal in size, but they wouldn’t be if I did it myself either. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/75 "2022-07-10T23:34:08Z")
How large is this large pizza that is supposed to satisfy 5 people? Because I would normally think at least half a pizza per person. (Those “hot and ready” Little Caesar’s 14 inch pizzas? That’s one serving for me. (With some crust saved for the cats.)) ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/76 "2022-07-10T23:39:18Z")
The OP kind of set himself up for this. If you’re purchasing a common service, don’t expect that they’ll do trig problems for you. If I were that pizza kid, even knowing how to do it, I’d think to myself “fuck this guy” and just do it the way they did it. They don’t pay enough for that. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/77 "2022-07-10T23:40:58Z")
Are you trying to tell me they don’t keep a protractor next to the pizza slicer? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2022, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/78 "2022-07-10T23:58:16Z")
That’s what they did back in my day when precision wasn’t as important. Now they use a programmable laser cutter. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2022, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/79 "2022-07-11T00:09:58Z")
Only $109 for two bucks worth of wire. > **[Proluxe EQ1810 Equaslice™ 10 Slice Pizza Cutting Guide](https://www.webstaurantstore.com/proluxe-eq1810-equaslice-10-slice-pizza-cutting-guide/636EQ1810.html)** > > Cut equal pizza slices every time with this Proluxe EQ1810 Equaslice™ 10 slice pizza cutting guide. This pizza cutting guide is designed for use with 18" or smaller pizzas and enables you to quickly cut 10 even slices. By using a cutting guide for... ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2022, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703/80 "2022-07-11T00:19:57Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > But DQ has a copyright on Blizzard, therefore Culvers has Shakes and Concrete Shakes. Ask for a NON-concrete shake. I do. The only way to get something that I consider to be a milkshake (as opposed to jokingly calling it a blizzard) is to ask them to add a little extra milk to it. Sometimes it works, sometimes I end up with a cup of ice cream milk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ordered-a-special-pizza/967703.md?page=5)