# Original dirty limerick thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 24, 2001, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291 "2001-10-24T11:04:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/1 "2001-10-24T11:04:29Z")
This can only consist of ones YOU made up. My offering: There once was a butcher called Sam Who boinked his new wife with a wham! He spooged on her belly. It was pretty smelly, But least there was glaze for the ham. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/2 "2001-10-24T11:16:18Z")
There once was a jester named Bung Who was quite unusually hung He saw, ripe for picking A candidate for squicking And later on he would perform mung. ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/3 "2001-10-24T12:46:16Z")
There once was a poster named SPOOFE Who stood naked on the roof He ran after a horse with the intention of course of not feeling the kick of it’s hoof. [sub]Ok so it’s not that good, hey it’s not even that dirty but it has a naked SPOOFE and a horse, you can let your imagination do the rest sorry SPOOFE. ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/4 "2001-10-24T13:09:39Z")
There once was a girl from Nantucket… _shit_ forgot the rest… ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/5 "2001-10-24T16:56:01Z")
My apologies for the previous post antics! Now, let’s play Name That “Poet”, shall we? : Hickory dickory dock Some chick was sucking my cock The clock struck two, I dropped my goo I dumped the bitch on the next block ---
**Author:** ![miamouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@miamouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miamouse)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/6 "2001-10-24T17:24:08Z")
There once was a girl from New York Propositioned by this short little dork She said to this guy “Man, you MUST be high No way you’ll get to poppin’ my cork!” ---
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/7 "2001-10-24T19:23:01Z")
A young puppy who we shall call Spot, Go potty outside? He would not! Behind the couch he would sneak And take dumps for a week. Only your nostrils suspected the plot. ---
**Author:** ![Bossk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7feea3/32.png) [@Bossk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bossk)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/8 "2001-10-24T19:30:06Z")
A young bulimic stargazer named Mae After ten Snickers bars, started to sway. “I’ve not had to vomit Since last Halley’s comet, Now here comes my OWN Milky Way!” ---
**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/9 "2001-10-24T19:33:55Z")
There once was a man from Nantucket who kept eleven brass balls in a bucket. he used to have twelve but amusing himselve, He lost a ben-wah where he stuck it! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2001, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/10 "2001-10-24T20:15:32Z")
I heard Debbe was to build a saw horse. Now Ms. Dunning is quite a stunning force. My Tool Time surprise came when she winked with her eyes and asked me to inter her course. ---
**Author:** ![Donna\_Z\_in\_MA](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@Donna\_Z\_in\_MA](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Donna_Z_in_MA)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/11 "2012-03-28T17:39:46Z")
I made this up this morning! 😃 There once was a woman from Mass. Who really could’ve used a piece of ass She tried her best to be sweet To the local meat But alas, they found her too crass! Donna Z in MA ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/12 "2012-03-28T17:44:07Z")
There was a Zombie from 2001 Unnecessarily woken up in 2011+1 I want to sleep, the thread said Then go back to sleep, mods said. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/13 "2012-03-28T17:48:05Z")
There once was a Zombie named Fred Who liked to have sex with the Dead First he’d eat all her brains then fuck her remains and that is the end of this Thread ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/14 "2012-03-28T17:54:38Z")
😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/15 "2012-03-28T17:59:30Z")
The only two that I know: There was a young maiden named Jill who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill They found her vagina in north Carolina and bits of her tits in Brazil (pause) There was a young man from Nantucket whose dick was so long he could suck it He said with a grin (while wiping his chin) “If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it” . ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/16 "2012-03-28T20:31:51Z")
There once was a _zombie_ articulate. ('Twas executed for telling lewd limericks.) Although he was hung, He could still with his tongue, Perform cunning linguistical tricks. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/17 "2012-03-28T20:40:05Z")
There once was a thread long forgotten That got bumped from a page near the bottom After 10 years or more We were shocked when we saw That the limericks were thoroughly rotten ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/18 "2012-03-28T20:45:23Z")
The limericks in here should be criminal they’re not subtle nor even subliminal But I have to admit since they’ve aged quite a bit It gives weight to the title’s “original”! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/19 "2012-03-28T22:01:17Z")
A young woman from the Azores Had a twat quite infested with sores. The dogs in the street Used to suck the green meat That hung in festoons from her drawers. Thank you Isaac Asimov! ---
**Author:** ![jharvey963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/54ee81/32.png) [@jharvey963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jharvey963)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/original-dirty-limerick-thread/89291/20 "2012-03-28T22:34:55Z")
Yeah, I know this isn’t original, but on a zombie thread this old, who’s going to complain? 🙂 There once was a young man from Kent Whose dick was incredibly bent. But it gave him no trouble He just shoved it in double And instead of coming - he went.