# ornery as a pole cat in heat!!! YEEHAW!!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [August 23, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666 "2001-08-23T04:15:50Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@pezwookiee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezwookiee)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/1 "2001-08-23T04:15:50Z")
In a thread in the General Questions forum about the origin of the phrase “shit-eating grin,” **Corrvin** mentioned a rural saying:
“Grinning like a dog shitting peach seeds”
All of a sudden it hit me! I **NEED** to start using more expressions like this in everyday conversation. Anybody have some more I could use???
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### Author:  [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/2 "2001-08-23T04:48:47Z")
I’ve always been partial to “hotter’n two rats screwin’ in a wool sock.”
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### Author:  [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/3 "2001-08-23T04:57:05Z")
Ah yes. The old “homey aphorism.”
I love these things.
[ul]
[li]Hotter’n a fresh-f\*cked fox in a forest fire[/li][li]Colder’n a well-digger’s ass.[/li][li]Uglier’n the south end of a northbound dog.[/li][li]Ugly enough to scare a buzzard off a meat wagon.[/li][li]Ugly enough to scare a pit bull up a plate glass window (winder, for effect.)[/li][li]Shakin’ like a Chihuahua shittin’ peach pits.[/li][li]Dumber’n a sack of hair.[/li][/ul]
I have more.
Actually, one of my favorites was made up on the spot by a good friend of mine:
“That sucks like a Bangkok whore with a double mortgage.”
I _rolled_.
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### Author:  [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/4 "2001-08-23T05:21:57Z")
“Well, f\*\*k me and call me pregnant!”
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### Author:  [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/5 "2001-08-23T05:23:55Z")
well felch me with a crazy straw!
(probably far from original, dont remember who I might have stolen it from)
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### Author:  [@Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtar)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/6 "2001-08-23T05:26:51Z")
“Well doesn’t that just suck a weasel’s @$$hole?”
“Slower than a one-legged turtle.”
“Shakin’ like a Mexican space shuttle!”
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### Author:  [@sewalk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sewalk)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/7 "2001-08-23T06:59:24Z")
Hungry enough to eat the ass out of a menstruating skunk
Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest
Dumber than the 'possum that decided to cross the road
Wouldn’t piss on his ass if his piles was on fire
Just cook it enough to get the “moo” out of it
Still want more?
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### Author:  [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/8 "2001-08-23T11:58:25Z")
Hotter than a docker’s armpit
Hotter than twin sisters on a Saturday night
Busier than a one-legged man in an a\*\*-kicking contest
More fun than a sack full of mice and a ballpeen hammer
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### Author:  [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/9 "2001-08-23T11:59:37Z")
Too stupid to pour piss out a boot.
Mean as Hell and twice as ugly.
Ugly as a mud fence.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/10 "2001-08-23T12:31:08Z")
Smart as a box of rocks
Not the shiniest ornament on the tree
Proof that the gene pool needs a little chlorine
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### Author:  [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/11 "2001-08-23T13:11:52Z")
[ul]
[li]Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra[/li][li]Colder than a cast iron toilet seat[/li][li]Busier than a one-armed paper hanger[/li][li]More nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs[/li][li]Tighter than bark on a tree[/li][li]Hotter than a young nun at a priests’ convention[/li][/ul]
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### Author:  [@Gomez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gomez)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/12 "2001-08-23T13:31:13Z")
[ul]
[li]As cold as a Yaks nipple on a winters night.[/li][li]As mad as a sack of rats.[/li][li]As useful as a fishnet condom.[/li][/ul]
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### Author:  [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/13 "2001-08-23T14:42:28Z")
I heard a good one on a rerun of the Golden Girls the other night.
Jumpier than a virgin at a prison rodeo.
I love that Blanche
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### Author:  [@pezwookiee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pezwookiee)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/14 "2001-08-23T16:09:15Z")
Busy as a beaver in a whore house.
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### Author:  [@Ivorybill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivorybill)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/15 "2001-08-23T18:14:09Z")
As slippery as snot on a door knob.
Finer than frog hair.
As popular as a turd in a punchbowl.
Slower than molassess in January.
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### Author:  [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/16 "2001-08-23T20:54:02Z")
Slicker than snot on a glass doorknob.
Slicker than cats\*\*t on linoleum.
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### Author:  [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/17 "2001-08-23T21:03:08Z")
My favorite:
[li]Uglier than a hat full of assholes.[/li]Can’t really come back from that one, except maybe with:[li]It looks like their face was on fire and someone tried to put it out with an icepick.[/li]
Other favs:[_]Dumber than a bag of hammers.[_]Slower that molassess on a cold winters day.[_]About as sharp as a bag of wet feathers. (or mice.)[_]As horny as a sailer on shore-leave. (optional: …with a fist-full of twenties.)
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/18 "2001-08-23T21:04:05Z")
Rain’s comin’ down like a tall cow peein’ on a flat rock.
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### Author:  [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/19 "2001-08-23T21:17:41Z")
As sharp as a bowling ball.
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### Author:  [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ornery-as-a-pole-cat-in-heat-yeehaw/77666/20 "2001-08-23T21:59:53Z")
**Ethilrist** , I learned that one as “Pissin’ down like an old cow on a flat rock.” One of my favorites!
From the same immutable grandma:
“Wish in one hand, shit in the other.”