# Other Straight Dope Message Board laws **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267 "2005-10-08T01:51:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/1 "2005-10-08T01:51:12Z")
We all know what Gaudere’s Law is – or at least many of us know – but what about the other little-known laws of the Dope? For instance: **Jelsoft’s Law** : The likelihood of a board crash increases with the length and composition time of a post. **elmwood’s Law** : If you compose a particularly insightful or witty post, someone post what is essentially the same thing immediately after you start writing. **Zev’s 614th Mitzvah** : Questions about Judaism, particularly Orthodox rituals, customs and beliefs, will be posted between sundown Friday and sundown Saturday. **Reeder’s Law** : As a thread grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving George W. Bush or Republicans approaches one. **Google’s Ordinance** : As a thread grows longer, the probability of someone commenting about a terribly inappropriate Google Adsense ad approaches one. Others? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/2 "2005-10-08T02:07:03Z")
OK…how did a Google ad on _Greek Traditions_ get here based on the OP? Is **Reeder** Greek? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/3 "2005-10-08T03:36:29Z")
I think it’s the “Orthodox” (i.e. “Greek Orthodox”) that brought in the Greek ad, considering its description is “Wedding supplies, Baptismal gifts and books on Greek Traditions”. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/4 "2005-10-08T03:42:33Z")
Everydoper’s law: When you are reprimanding someone for their spelling, you will make a spelling error. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/5 "2005-10-08T04:12:23Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Everydoper’s law: When you are reprimanding someone for their spelling, you will make a spelling error. I think we’ve got that one covered. [Guadere’s law](http://www.what-means.com/encyclopedia/Godwin's_Law) ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/6 "2005-10-08T07:15:52Z")
The letters “TMI” _should_ always be placed at the beginning of a thread title, but _are_ always placed at the end. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/7 "2005-10-08T07:19:19Z")
> [@Lamar Mundane](#): > > I think we’ve got that one covered. [Guadere’s law](http://www.what-means.com/encyclopedia/Godwin's_Law) I **really** hope that was deliberate. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/8 "2005-10-08T07:21:57Z")
Any accidental multipost will result in a barrage of in-jokes, including many or all of the following: “I think it’s _Rio_, by Duran Duran.” “Once, in 1960. For 20 minutes.” “Ah, they’re 1920’s style [death rays or some more topical utterance].” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/9 "2005-10-08T07:23:13Z")
Any accidental multipost will result in a barrage of in-jokes, including many or all of the following: “I think it’s _Rio_, by Duran Duran.” “Once, in 1960. For 20 minutes.” “Ah, they’re 1920’s style [death rays or some more topical utterance].” ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/10 "2005-10-08T10:00:18Z")
**Liberal’s Law:** Every single subject in GD can and will be converted to debate over that wildly successful Libertarian philosophy. ---
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/11 "2005-10-08T10:13:19Z")
No names for them, but… A Pit thread lamenting a certain behavior will always contain a post exemplifying that behavior. A thread created for the purpose of generating some sort of list will always have a post saying “I can’t believe no one has mentioned…”: Corollary to the above: Any post saying “I can’t believe no one has mentioned…” will usually be followed by a post saying, “Pssst… check post #X” ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/12 "2005-10-08T11:03:49Z")
**Opal’s law** -if someone does use “3. Hi Opal” in a list there will be 15 posts from newbies wondering why. **Doc’s law** -If at any point someone has to write IANAD in a thread, it’ll get closed for offering medical advice. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/13 "2005-10-08T11:32:26Z")
Someone e-mailed me quite a while back and said I should have a law. My apologies to the e-mailer, I forgot the definition, but I did think it was clever. I remember it did involve the good Reverend Spooner and the good Dr. Freud, though. Unfortunately, my faculties are not quite intact enough at this early hour with no sleep for me to conjure up a witty definition myself. Ah, well. _Penis. It’s what ensues._ ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/14 "2005-10-08T12:43:33Z")
**Hal Briston’s** law–Any post by **Hal** will immediately be followed by a post mentioning sheep. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/15 "2005-10-08T12:56:00Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > **Hal Briston’s** law–Any post by **Hal** will immediately be followed by a post mentioning sheep. Probably by \*\*Hal \*\*himself. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/16 "2005-10-08T14:35:05Z")
**Article 403** : In any given thread inviting picture links, there is a 50% chance that any link is “Forbidden” to visitors. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/17 "2005-10-08T14:40:46Z")
**JDT’s Law** All threads about foreskins will end badly. ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/18 "2005-10-08T15:05:42Z")
**Voyeur’s Law** : In any TMI thread, the number of “replies” divided by the number of “views” will equal to or less than .001. ---
**Author:** ![Erinaceus\_europaeus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47774/32.png) [@Erinaceus\_europaeus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erinaceus_europaeus)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/19 "2005-10-08T15:25:10Z")
Any thread mentioning kittens but without pictures will continue untill there are pictures. Any post with pictures of kittens will get at least 2 pages of “awww… cute…” replies. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/20 "2005-10-08T15:44:24Z")
**Kythereia’s Law** (I made it up, so it’s my law, tough beans) – any welcome-the-newbie thread will have a good chance of descending into a flirting thread. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267.md?page=2)