# Other Straight Dope Message Board laws **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267 "2005-10-08T01:51:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/41 "2005-10-09T01:52:37Z")
**Scottish law** : When ever anyone mentions the idea of drinking the Kool-Aid, I will burst in to point out it was actualy [Flavor Aid.](http://answers.google.com/answers/main?cmd=threadview&id=232174) And then I will mispell something. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/42 "2005-10-09T01:57:16Z")
**The Law of Moderator Action/Reaction** Any Moderator/administrator action of greater significance than fixed coding will generate at least one post or thread objecting, questioning, complaining, or otherwise grumbling about overreacting mods. **Correllary** The harder that the originator of a Pit Thread on moderator actions tries to justify the thread, the more petty and whiny the thread will appear. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/43 "2005-10-09T02:31:47Z")
**Regallag’s Law of Craziness** Anything that I post has a 50% chance to be a crazy post about pillaging, or slaying, or some other crazy Vikingesque thing. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/44 "2005-10-09T02:37:11Z")
**Regallag’s Axe Law** I will slice you on two if you face me. Then I will sail my fleet of longships to your home, kill the defenders, take anything we want, and burn the rest. Then hold the King of France hostage. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/45 "2005-10-10T00:20:24Z")
**Kunilou’s Law** There exists a certain subset of Dopers whose contribution to any thread will be the post that finally kills the thread. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/46 "2005-10-10T01:44:33Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > **WhyNot’s Law:** as a humorous thread grows longer, the probability of someone being whooshed approaches 1. 😉 **The Whoosh Lemma:** Asking “Am I being whooshed” is a direct invitation for someone to whoosh you. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/47 "2005-10-10T02:19:37Z")
**Diceman’s Law:** If you make a generalization, every Doper who does not conform to that generalization will post to disagree with you. Eg: “Everyone hated the Pontiac Aztek when it came out.” “I didn’t. I’ve always liked it.” “Me too. The Aztek is awesome!” “Really. I don’t see why everyone is so down on the Aztek.” etc. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/48 "2005-10-10T04:05:07Z")
> [@Lamar Mundane](#): > > I think we’ve got that one covered. [Guadere’s law](http://www.what-means.com/encyclopedia/Godwin's_Law) Good egg’s law: When you are contributing a new rule, you will invariably use one thats already a rule. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/49 "2005-10-10T04:08:15Z")
and no, **tomndeb** it wasn’t deliberate. ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/50 "2005-10-10T04:39:19Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Any accidental multipost will result in a barrage of in-jokes, including many or all of the following: > “I think it’s _Rio_, by Duran Duran.” > “Once, in 1960. For 20 minutes.” > “Ah, they’re 1920’s style [death rays or some more topical utterance].” > [@Marley23](#): > > Any accidental multipost will result in a barrage of in-jokes, including many or all of the following: > “I think it’s _Rio_, by Duran Duran.” > “Once, in 1960. For 20 minutes.” > “Ah, they’re 1920’s style [death rays or some more topical utterance].” **Marley’s Law:** Any slowdown of the board (coupled with an impatient poster) will result in a double post. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/51 "2005-10-10T05:23:06Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > and no, **tomndeb** it wasn’t deliberate. My remark was directed to **Lamar**. Note the spelling of **Gaudere**. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/52 "2005-10-10T05:28:17Z")
> [@Plynck](#): > > **Marley’s Law:** Any slowdown of the board (coupled with an impatient poster) will result in a double post. 😃 I dunno, the poster can correct me of course, but the timestamp looks to me more like a _deliberate_ DP. For humorous reasons, see? Also, re: the Nazi thing. Most message boards I’ve been on tend to hold the belief that the first person to bring Nazis into a thread are actually the\* losers\* of the argument. It seems to be a misunderstanding of Godwin’s law, but a pretty widely-spread one, IME. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/53 "2005-10-10T06:00:34Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > **The Nuremberg Law** : In any argument, the first person to compare their oppenent to Nazi’s automatically wins. **Askance’s Apostrophic Apothegm** : the braver the attempt to apostrophise correctly, the greater the disaster when it fails, as it inevitably will. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/54 "2005-10-10T06:14:52Z")
> [@Sierra Indigo](#): > > I dunno, the poster can correct me of course, but the timestamp looks to me more like a _deliberate_ DP. For humorous reasons, see? Give the man a prize… ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/55 "2005-10-10T12:16:11Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > **Hal Briston’s** law–Any post by **Hal** will immediately be followed by a post mentioning sheep. **Reversal of Hal’s Law** –Any post mentioning sheep will lead to a mention of **Hal**. Probably by **Hal** himself. ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/56 "2005-10-10T12:19:09Z")
**Chubby wrath law:** The odds of some large person somewhere finding your post offensive is better than 18%. To increase odds to better than 50% use the word fat in your post. **Trimming shrubs:** A post expressing a positive sentiment regarding G.W. Bush will be followed within 3 posts by one containing either the words “moron” or “stupid” ---
**Author:** ![Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fromage\_A\_Trois](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fromage_A_Trois)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/57 "2005-10-10T12:40:40Z")
**The Superiority Complex** - Any discussion of how things are done differently by different people (auto/manual cars, colour/color, Windows/Linux/Unix/Mac OS etc) will devolve swiftly into debate about which way is _best_. ---
**Author:** ![Plynck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Plynck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plynck)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/58 "2005-10-10T15:03:09Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Give the man a prize… Plynck’s Law: Any post attempting humor that is made after bedtime is doomed to embarassing failure :o ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/59 "2005-10-10T16:15:07Z")
Any thread mentioning animals that does not expound upon their cuteness and obvious humanity will swiftly drown under a rush of posts decrying the OP. The longer the thread endures, the chance of the OP (and people in general) being framed as hateful and pathetic approaches one. Corollary: The longer the thread endures, the greater the chances it’s frontpage link will end up right next to a kitten-picture thread. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267/60 "2005-10-10T21:38:56Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Give the man a prize… Lady, but I’ll still have my prize, thanks 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/other-straight-dope-message-board-laws/325267.md?page=4)