You could always take the opportunity to convalesce on a chaise longue in your beautifully decorated room, while keeping tabs on your neighbours through a telescope.
Well, I did actually lounge about last week eating bon bons and reading naughty French novels . . . If it hadn’t been for the constant searing pain and the immobility, it would’ve been kind of a nice relaxing vacation.
By the way, those sadistic bastards gave the one-armed woman her pain pills in a *childproof bottle. *
Hey, you didn’t happen to have a relative on the Odessa steps a century or so ago???
Anyway, get well! Sorry to hear about it.
Eve, so sorry to hear of the accident and surgery. I wish we had known sooner, we could have sent you a bouquet of childless young men to care for you.
Get much better soon. If you like, I can make you some lovely new slings in other colours.
Can I sign your cast?
::whips out sharpie::
Seriously, that sucks. I know what it’s like to not tolerate pain meds, too. After my (non-broken bone) surgery I couldn’t even take the tylenol with codeine, and ended up on * liquid baby ibuprofin *. Yes, the pink liquid for babies.
Didn’t they offer you any choice of sling colors? I know someone who was tres chic in a little hot pink number.
Oh! Poor Baby! Makes me hurt just to read about it. And no decent drugs!
Stick with the bon-bon therapy. By now you’ve certainly discovered what a great weapon a hard cast can be. Used with subtlety it can be quite effective and will at least partially make up for the pain and inconvenience.
I am laughing so hard over this! Sorry about the pain you’re in, but…damn thats funny! I can just imagine the contortions, trying to open that bottle…hold it between the legs? Open it with your toes? hehehehe I’m going to laugh about this all night 
I told you Eve to not try and push FAT kids in front of cars. You just don’t body mass to do that. Stick with the waif kids from now on please.
(they are so annoying with their pleas for food)
Ouch, indeed!
Broken bones are no fun at all, except matbe for the stories you can tell about it. Lucky for me that I can take painkillers of any kind - that morphine I had was great! I understand how people become junkies.
You have my sympathy.
Holy moly, Eve! I’m so sorry to read this and I hope you heal quickly.
I hope the painkiller fairy send you some real relief soon.
This is of course a wake up call for the government to legalize ecstacy (spelled like a true druggy)
If our dear Eve had gotten some, she probably could have forgotten the pain.
No, I’m not joking.
I am the pro-choice, pro-drug republican.
I dunno, I always envisioned Eve as more of an absinthe drinker, if she was looking for something illicit.
Eve, remember, element of surprise. Looking startled, pointing, and gasping out the name some celebrity appealing to the appropriate age may do the trick. Then when the little brat isn’t looking, give a good shove.
this injury calls for a lot of chocolate and ben and jerry’s.
you need the calcium to knit the elbow.
Am I the only one besides Jodi to commend your bravery and self sacrifice?
I feel that has been overlooked in favor of cheap shots at ridding the world of children.
We can tell by the screen-name, Eleusis. (Myself, I find that MDMA does wonders for influenza- “Wow! To think that an hour ago, I was horribly congested, achey, and totally miserable… Now… Clear head, lots of energy, and I’m in love with the whole damn world. Keep your cussed Robitussen.”)
Eve– Mend up, luv. And allow me to second honkytonkwillie’s commendation, and press for details about the circumstances. Is it parsing the quasi-OP correctly to imagine that your injuries are the result of pushing someone’s offspring out of the way of a coupla tons of accelerated mass? When’s the parade? That’s awesome.
Ich-- Tylenol w/ codeine. I can sympathize – they seem like placebos to me-- okay for a headache. Lots of people don’t metabolize codeine - (I’m one of those… it may as well be bicarbonate.) And acetomenophen is poison.
Don’t be shy – march right back in, scream, cry, froth at the mouth, and demand dilaudid. You’re a heroine-- you deserve it. 
I hate to burst your bubble Larry, but she was pushing someone’s offspring into the path of a coupla tons of accelerated mass.
But indeed, when’s the parade?
Well, Eve, Gazelle from Hell, it looks like I, too, have had the same sort of broken elbow.
Would it be tasteless of me to call “Snap!”?
So says my Mom. This one-armed stuff is getting old fast, anmd I am still trying to find a physical therapist near my office, who takes my insurance. Stitches are out and cast is off—I was hopiong they’d put me in a “half-cast,” so I could talk like Hedy Lamarr in White Cargo. “I am Tondelayo.”
Arm aches like a sonofabitch, and the cracked ribs hurt even more. Can’t lift anything with my left hand for at least two weeks—I can finally touch the tip of my nose [pause for jokes about how far away from my face that is].
Thanks for the sympathy, all—that and lots of ice cream do help.
I’ve had busted ribs a couple times. Six weeks of no laughing, no sitting up from prone position, etc. Sucks to be you! Get well soon!
So the kid thing was a joke.
Ye gads, I have been whooshed.
::hiding beneath desk waiting for shame to recede::