# Our baby died yesterday (another long post) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 22, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713 "2006-09-22T14:18:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/121 "2006-09-25T20:43:13Z")
8:00PM CDT I will be in a Bible class and it ends about then. We finish with prayer, and you can be assured I will mention Ian, and ask for prayer in his name. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/122 "2006-09-25T20:55:56Z")
**TokyoPlayer** , I’m so sorry for your loss, and my heart goes out to you, your wife and your family. ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2006, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/123 "2006-09-25T21:15:04Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] Tomorrow, at 10:00 am, Tokyo time we will let the flames consume his tiny body and return ashes to ashes. This is at 9:00 pm (Monday night) on the East coast and 5:00 pm on the West. (Sorry, I don’t know the times for other counties.) Can I ask an indulgence? If you are free at this time, can you please think a kind thought or send a little prayer this way for our son, so when he departs it will be with the love of many in their hearts? It will mean so much to TW and I. [/QUOTE] Done. But for all of you, not just Ian. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2006, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/124 "2006-09-25T22:14:53Z")
A special prayer has been said for Ian. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/125 "2006-09-26T01:35:33Z")
Done at 1700 PDT. Along with a request to my parents—especially my mother, who adored babies of all shapes, sizes and colors—to keep an eye out for him. (I tried to fold an origami crane to set afloat in the lake outside the HQ building in Ian’s memory, but what I came up with would have been insulting. So I guess he’ll have to get by with the prayer and the request. Somehow, I don’t think he has anything to worry about.) ---
**Author:** ![Pigs\_in\_Space](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@Pigs\_in\_Space](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pigs_in_Space)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/126 "2006-09-26T05:37:06Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/127 "2006-09-26T06:09:50Z")
It seems so very inadequate, but I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. As a mother, I can only imagine what horrible grief you must be suffering. As a human being, I find myself stunned and awed by the love and courage that you’ve both displayed. How selfless you’ve been, how loving and tender and brave–I’m simply blown away. Lean on one another now and draw on the strength and love that you’ve shared through all of this. And when you need friends to talk to, we’ll be here. ---
**Author:** ![Thalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f475e1/32.png) [@Thalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thalion)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/128 "2006-09-26T07:42:08Z")
Rest peacefully, little Ian. May you and yours find peace, **TokyoPlayer**. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/129 "2006-09-26T07:53:34Z")
**TokyoPlayer** I am so sorry for your loss. You are a very strong and brave person, and I know that you and **TokyoWife** were the best parents little Ian could have had in his short stay on Earth ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/130 "2006-09-26T09:40:13Z")
Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers. We had a really nice experience at the cremation. TW, TokyoMother, SIL, and MIL send their thanks and appreciation as well. I will write more, but today has been too long and I will pause here. [Here are some more photos.](http://s89.photobucket.com/albums/k235/TokyoPlayer/) ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/131 "2006-09-26T09:54:28Z")
Just thinking good thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/132 "2006-09-26T12:56:46Z")
My thoughts are with your family. I’m sorry Ian was with you so short a time. G ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/133 "2006-09-26T13:47:22Z")
I’m so very, very sorry. I almost didn’t open your thread - my selfishness I suppose, in not wanting to feel this way this morning. I finally realized how horrible I was. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2006, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/134 "2006-11-11T00:30:35Z")
I don’t know if this will help but you might like to get hold of a copy of [Swimmer in the Secret Sea](http://www.amazon.com/Swimmer-Secret-Sea-William-Kotzwinkle/dp/0811807150) by William Kotzwinkle. My thoughts are with you. ---
**Author:** ![SkiDemon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@SkiDemon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkiDemon)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2006, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/135 "2006-11-11T06:13:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Remember September 21 as a special day when you finally got to hold your angel and look upon that lovely face. Send your wife flowers, give her a card on Mother’s Day. Keep his picture in your wallet. Toyko Player I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe a good idear might be to find a charity or an organziation that is doing nereologcal research on hydranencephy/related conditions (like some genetic syndromes that have formal groups might have hyndranencephaly as one of the symptoms) and start a tradition of sending them a donation on Ian’s birthday! Maybe even get involved with those organizations, since many of the rare medical things tend to be very grassroots, and always in need of support. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2006, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/136 "2006-11-11T06:21:55Z")
I lost my father on August 30th. It is so true that losing a child is worse than anything else. But for me? I have no children, and I had devoted my life to making sure my dad was as happy as he COULD be after my mom died nine and a half years ago. I made him the focus of my life, so I did this to myself…but I think I understand what you went through. I’m lost and devastated. I am so sorry that you had this happen. But I believe that your child is in heaven, in the arms of God. And also in the arms of both of my parents, who…TRUST ME…will love your baby as if he was their very own. It isn’t much, but it is what I can give you. Because I believe it to be true. I’m so very sorry. My Love, Cheri ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2006, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713/137 "2006-11-11T23:37:40Z")
I had lost track of Ian’s tale and now that I have learned what has happened I am crying as I type this. I hope peace and strength continue to surround your family. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-died-yesterday-another-long-post/373713.md?page=6)