# Our baby is gone **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 2, 2007, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274 "2007-03-02T05:07:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/1 "2007-03-02T05:07:32Z")
The white petal fluttered as it flew along; propelled not by any power of its own, but carried by wings of the wind which tore it from its home. Spring as arrived in this year of no winter; the high pressure from the warm El Nino, The Child, fought off the cold Arctic air, bringing new Firsts daily. The First dandelions in Kyoto came two months early, on a warm morning in mid-January. The First skylarks sang in February. And now the sure sign of the change in seasons, the First signs of Sakura, cherry blossoms, are found. The early loss of this one won’t stop the full force of their dazzling beauty, which lies still ahead; when mountains filled with Valentine’s pinks and glacier white inspire souls to rejoice at the visual feast, crying “Spring is here!” The joy of spring, of the newly born, tender plants and animals. Harmonious voices singing testimony to the miracle of life new-born. Another soft petal has fallen. Brought by Ian as a gift of spring, this blossom could not withstand the force of nature, and will soon be torn away. Though not zero, the chance of a miracle to restore this miracle is too small. The embryonic sac, at the right size of 3 cm, contains not the tiniest signs of life, nothing as large as even a grain of rice. Its mission recalled, the misshaped sac is collapsing, and will soon be carried out, not by the force of the wind, but by the flow of blood. Winter has arrived in Tokyo. The bright sunshine cannot warm the new coldness within my heart. The hopes and dreams are swept away in this crazy world where seasons run in reverse. First spring, then winter. No guardsman is posted, but the closed office door screams to the staff that today is not the day to call. Mi-chan’s father is crying by himself, and will not open his door. How can he? His heart has slammed shut and the consoling embrace of his loving wife is miles and hours away. Tonight we can cry together again, as we did when we left the kind doctor’s care, but now the tears are shed apart. The clouds are still there, but have thinned enough for the sun to create shadows on the ground, matched by the shadows on my soul. So much I wanted to share the joys of fatherhood, of learning to write of happiness, instead of being, once again, the bearer of bad news. There will be no ashes this time. No funeral nor friends bringing flowers. The law says that this is not a child, but the law governs not our hearts. We will place our hands together, and take the early present for our little one, a Teddy Bear smaller than my hand but infinitely larger than Mi-chan, and set it by Ian’s ashes for our first son to take it to our first daughter. Mi-chan, where are you? Where you not strong enough for this world? Did Ian bring you before you were ready? Were you an angel only sent to bring two short months of comfort to my wife as she struggled to learn to live again? Oh Mi-chan. I’ll never hold you or sing to you. You’ll never melt me with your smile. Story books won’t be read and lullabies will remain silent. It’s winter here. The sun, the green and the blossoms all lie with the false promise of a spring which won’t come this year. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/2 "2007-03-02T05:11:53Z")
Damn. I’m so sorry, **TokyoPlayer**. ---
**Author:** ![justpassingthrough](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@justpassingthrough](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justpassingthrough)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/3 "2007-03-02T05:15:21Z")
Words don’t even begin to express how sorry I am for your fresh loss. You and your wife are in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/4 "2007-03-02T05:21:09Z")
_weeps for you_ I am so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/5 "2007-03-02T05:21:21Z")
Sorry to hear the news. We all know this meant so very much for you. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/6 "2007-03-02T05:38:09Z")
I’ve never wanted children. I’ve known from early age that was not the path for me. I’ve never wanted children. Deep inside, I cannot truly know the depth of your loss, yet it has taken me ten minutes to compose myself to write this. I’ve never wanted children. I don’t have the strength, I don’t have the courage to bear what you and your wife must now bear. My thoughts are with you tonight, **TokyoPlayer**. To you, and your wife, and little Mi-chan who might have been. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/7 "2007-03-02T05:44:03Z")
I’m so sorry. Please know you are beloved. ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/8 "2007-03-02T05:49:04Z")
I’m praying for you, Ian, Mi-chan, and TokyoWife. Life is so desperately unfair sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/9 "2007-03-02T06:06:29Z")
Oh dear. My thoughts and prayers are with you, TokyoPlayer. I wish I could offer more. But you will be in my prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/10 "2007-03-02T06:06:53Z")
Damn. Your history is so much like my wife’s and mine, and knowing what you’ve been through, I was really pulling for you. I’m so sorry. It sucks and it’s unfair. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/11 "2007-03-02T06:10:14Z")
I’m so sorry. Is it any comfort that neither of them is alone? I wish I had some magical words to make this better, but just know that you and Tokyowife are not alone, either. We’re here, for whatever comfort it brings you, to know that there are those who care and will listen. ---
**Author:** ![IrreverentTone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@IrreverentTone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IrreverentTone)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/12 "2007-03-02T06:16:18Z")
I’m so very sorry. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/13 "2007-03-02T06:16:37Z")
I’m so sorry, **TokyoPlayer**. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/14 "2007-03-02T06:31:06Z")
I’m so sorry to hear this **TP**. Earlier tonight I posted asking for an update in your previous thread and was hoping beyond hope that you had good news. So sad. So very sad. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Gleena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b3f665/32.png) [@Gleena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gleena)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/15 "2007-03-02T06:33:00Z")
I am so very sorry. G ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/16 "2007-03-02T06:37:15Z")
Man, I’m so sorry. Here’s hoping and praying for the best for you and your wife. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/17 "2007-03-02T06:43:25Z")
**TokyoPlayer** , I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Penchan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Penchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penchan)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/18 "2007-03-02T07:26:23Z")
You have my utmost sympathy and condolences. I am so sorry for your loss and I wish that I and everyone on this board could make you feel even a bit better. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/19 "2007-03-02T07:51:58Z")
I am so very sorry for your loss, **TokyoPlayer**. My heart goes out to you and your wife. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2007, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274/20 "2007-03-02T08:48:52Z")
_lights a candle for Mi-chan and Ian_ go in peace, little ones. > [@](#): > > there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of them all is love. Your children knew love, **TokyoPlayer**. They knew love. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-baby-is-gone/394274.md?page=2)