# Our new bed has 8 USB ports. How many does yours have & what do you use them for?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 24, 2022, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324 "2022-01-24T20:16:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/21 "2022-01-24T22:08:27Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> What neither of us had anticipated was the presence of 8 USB ports on the damn thing.
So what did the old bed have? Parallel ports? SCSI?
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### Author:  [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/22 "2022-01-24T22:08:33Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> Anyway, how many USB ports does your bed have? And what do you plug into them?
Zero.
Which means I continue to have to plug my kindles, phone, and “marital aid” into the wall socket next to the bed to recharge them.
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### Author:  [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/23 "2022-01-24T22:22:25Z")
My bed has a mattress and a bookshelf headboard with books on it. It has 0 USB ports, 0 phasers, 0 tractor beams, and 0 tricorders. No warp drive as it’s not certified for space flight.
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### Author:  [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/24 "2022-01-24T22:35:24Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> Seems like things are getting real interactive out in cyberspace.
I bet they automatically send video or report to Facebook and TikTok or whatever those kids are using now. People today share everything.
In answer to the OP: none. My bed is analog. It’s also from 1988.
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/25 "2022-01-24T22:39:44Z")
No USB ports, but my bed is a _Time Machine!_
When I fall drunk on it, it transports me hours ahead into the future!
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### Author:  [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/26 "2022-01-24T22:40:35Z")
Is that one of those Splitting Headache MattressesTM ?
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### Author:  [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/27 "2022-01-24T22:46:51Z")
Ah, but does it have USB-_C_?
No connectivity on my bed either at my place or the old homestead. Then again I haven’t mechanized my sleeping furniture.
(And damn… IIRC I first heard the word “Teledildonics” back in the late 80s or early 90s… )
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### Author:  [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/28 "2022-01-24T22:51:12Z")
Our bed lets you raise the head and feet part, with a remote control of course, which was very handy when my wife got her knee and hip replaced and needed to elevate her feet. No USB ports though. The frame does get plugged in. I also charge my phone in another room.
I thought that most marital aids had wifi, and didn’t have to plug into anything except for recharging. But I’m not an expert. I do know that some years ago The Register printed a story about a company that reversed engineered one of those things, and was able to read the firmware. They discovered that the admin password was built in and easily available. Just saying.
And in 1977 for a seminar on the relatively new microprocessor we had an assignment to write a paper on a new application. I did microprocessor-based vibrator. Product name Shtup. (I hope Qadgop the Mercotan is at home.) Damn, I should have patented it. Now I know how Arthur C. Clarke felt.
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### Author:  [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/29 "2022-01-24T22:51:42Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#):
>
> Ah, but does it have USB- _C_ ?
Of course not. Size matters.
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### Author:  [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/30 "2022-01-24T23:33:38Z")
So if you plug the laptop into the bed, does the laptop recognize it, or do you need to install drivers first? Can you download dreams and overwrite the default set?
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### Author:  [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/31 "2022-01-24T23:39:23Z")
We just bought a bed…zero USBs.
My niece and her hubs, who are both techies, had USBs ports installed in every room when they built their house, which I thought was really smart.
> **[Leviton 3.6A USB Dual Type A In-Wall Charger with 15 Amp Tamper-Resistant...](https://www.homedepot.com/p/Leviton-3-6A-USB-Dual-Type-A-In-Wall-Charger-with-15-Amp-Tamper-Resistant-Outlets-White-R02-T5632-0BW/205092277?g_store=550&source=shoppingads&locale=en-US&&mtc=Shopping-VF-F_D27-G-D27-027_002_WIRING_DEVIC-NA-NA-Feed-SMART-2181312-WF-New_Engen_PL3&cm_mmc=Shopping-VF-F_D27-G-D27-027_002_WIRING_DEVIC-NA-NA-Feed-SMART-2181312-WF-New_Engen_PL3-71700000082410799-58700006989412248-92700062912530159&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI1viVicXL9QIVDXYYCh2_hQj0EAQYASABEgLASfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds)**
>
> Our USB Charger Devices feature a smart chip that recognizes and optimizes the charging power of your electronic devices for fast and efficient charging. Strategically placed vertical USB Ports in all
That way they can plug in wherever they are, do not have to run long cords, and there’s no need for 110V to USB adapters.
I used to have an alarm clock that needed 110v, but now that my alarm is my phone, I need USB. I have a tablet that needs USB, Bluetooth speakers and headphones, so I guess the tech will be with us awhile.
One year I got Mrs. L a plastic disc about six inches across and half an inch tall. We put the light from her nightstand on top of it (space is at a premium). In the disc there was a USB port and it had a small, dim sort of “nightlight” so you could see to plug it in. She really liked it but it stopped working.
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#):
>
> I don’t think bed mounted USB ports are really intended for sex toys.
I keep imagining the old prison movies where the lights flicker when someone is executed.
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### Author:  [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)
#### Post date: [January 24, 2022, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/32 "2022-01-24T23:44:20Z")
Both of my parents spent time in hospitals or inpatient rehab in the past few years and they have taken their smartphones with them. So we plugged them into a long (two or three meter) charging cable plugged into the wall behind the bed. It seemed to me that the companies that manufacture hospital beds ought to add a couple of USB charging ports to the bed itself. (Hospital beds already plug into the wall, for things like the gizmos to raise and lower the head and foot parts or the built in weight scale, so it wouldn’t be a huge difference.)
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### Author:  [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/33 "2022-01-25T00:27:16Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#):
>
> It seemed to me that the companies that manufacture hospital beds ought to add a couple of USB charging ports to the bed itself.
Medical-grade USB is _really_ expensive and Medicare doesn’t cover it
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### Author:  [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/34 "2022-01-25T00:28:00Z")
Zero. Consequently, we don’t plug anything into it.
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### Author:  [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/35 "2022-01-25T00:45:00Z")
> [@abcdefghij](#):
>
> > [@Dewey\_Finn](#):
> >
> > It seemed to me that the companies that manufacture hospital beds ought to add a couple of USB charging ports to the bed itself.
>
> Medical-grade USB is _really_ expensive and Medicare doesn’t cover it
I’m not asking for medical-grade anything. Just a couple of consumer-level USB charging ports.
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### Author:  [@abcdefghij](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abcdefghij)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/36 "2022-01-25T01:25:34Z")
Sorry. I should’ve added a “/s”.
If it weren’t for the fact that every aspect of the medical industrial complex is corrupt, I’d be confident that there’s no such thing as medical-grade USB.
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### Author:  [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/37 "2022-01-25T01:33:09Z")
None. If our telecommunications devices lose charge overnight, Mrs P and I have to resort to talking to one another instead of texting.
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### Author:  [@FinsToTheLeft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinsToTheLeft)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/38 "2022-01-25T02:20:32Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#):
>
> When it comes to USB ports - as distinct from things you plug into regular sockets, in order to charge devices etc etc - we don’t have any _in the house_ , let alone in the bed.
You don’t have a TV or computer?
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### Author:  [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/39 "2022-01-25T03:23:54Z")
This reminds me of when I found out about vibrating panties with a remote control. That was probably about 20 years ago, before Wi-Fi.
As for USB ports, I bought my bed and frame after I graduated in 1994. Not sure when I got the mattress and box springs, but I do know I have replaced them somewhere along the way. No USB ports in any case.
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### Author:  [@JaneDoe42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JaneDoe42)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/40 "2022-01-25T03:51:56Z")
We replaced our hard side waterbed with a soft side one a few years ago. Apparently waterbeds are only for the young because the four USB ports can only be reached by squatting and bending. It’s OK though, each of our nightstand has four easily reached USB ports each.
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