# Our new bed has 8 USB ports. How many does yours have & what do you use them for?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 24, 2022, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324 "2022-01-24T20:16:36Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/41 "2022-01-25T04:54:55Z")
See, this is just another sign of the descent of civilization… Wi-Fi fridges, ‘smart’ corkscrews, turning beloved old movies into skeevy reality TV shows, and now this.
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### Author:  [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/42 "2022-01-25T05:34:16Z")
Our bed (bought last year) has a couple ports on each side, inconveniently placed where you have to reach under and upwards to blindly plug anything in. But I only had to do it the once to put a micro-USB and a USB-C cable in each side which covers all my USB-related needs (mainly tablet/phone charging).
While the USB ports doesn’t seem suitable for any adult toys, I’ll admit that the vibration feature on the bed immediately made me think of seedy motel rooms and coin-operated Magic Fingers.
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/43 "2022-01-25T09:00:16Z")
> [@abcdefghij](#):
>
> SCSI?
If you’re not careful when you buy one of these newfangled marital aids, it could turn out to be very SCSI indeed.
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### Author:  [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/44 "2022-01-25T09:27:00Z")
They plug into regular sockets.
j
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### Author:  [@Gordon\_Urquhart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gordon_Urquhart)
#### Post date: [January 25, 2022, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/45 "2022-01-25T17:59:36Z")
We now live full-time in a fifth-wheel trailer, built last year. The bed doesn’t have USB ports, but there’s a port on each side of the bed under what passes for a bedside shelf (the shelf is about the size of a mass-market paperback). I can put my iPad on it, with the edges sticking over, and my iPhone. I only charge the iPad there, since the iPhone has Apple’s super-convenient [/s] Lightning port. In the living area, the two adjoining recliners have two USB ports on the front of the console between the seats, and the sofa has a USB port on under the shelves on each side. There’s also one under the television cabinet. I think that’s plenty.
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### Author:  [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2022, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/46 "2022-01-27T01:55:41Z")
As others have hinted at, this is just quirky shit that is unneeded. USB charging banks are cheap and can be plugged in by the bed side without relying on the jerry rigged technology to put the ports on the bed itself. Count me out as a buyer.
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### Author:  [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2022, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/47 "2022-01-27T02:34:52Z")
I was surprised to find that the power strip/surge protector I just bought has two USB ports for recharging.
The bed is definitely low-tech and will stay that way.\*
\*If anyone knows of a dog bed that detects chewing and “corrects” the errant canine, please let me know.
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### Author:  [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2022, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/48 "2022-01-27T22:49:04Z")
> [@Cervaise](#):
>
> If you’re not careful when you buy one of these newfangled marital aids, it could turn out to be very SCSI indeed.
Been years since I’ve heard that word. Dang.
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2022, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/49 "2022-01-27T23:00:40Z")
Leave it to tech types to decide that SCSI should be pronounced “scuzzy” instead of “sexy”.
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### Author:  [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2022, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/50 "2022-01-27T23:10:49Z")
Got that right!
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### Author:  [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)
#### Post date: [January 27, 2022, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/51 "2022-01-27T23:13:30Z")
We bought our bed in 1985, so …
Maybe it’s time to upgrade to a new bed.
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### Author:  [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)
#### Post date: [January 28, 2022, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/52 "2022-01-28T20:57:40Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> There are 2 each on each side, and 4 in the middle, where they’re accessible via the small mattress separation.
Not only do we not have any USB ports on our bed, I didn’t realize beds came with 2 mattresses so there was space in the middle. Does it have to do with the raising/lowering of the mattresses separately? Seems like quite a lot of space would be needed to fit your hand in order to plug something in.( not a sex joke)
We have 3 USB ports on each nightstand lamp. More than we need since we don’t bring phones into the bedroom.
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### Author:  [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)
#### Post date: [January 28, 2022, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/53 "2022-01-28T22:29:52Z")
I’m sure everyone here has seen those advertisements “Learn a foreign language in your sleep in just two weeks!!!1!!!”
There is a clear application for USB ports in your bed for this. Obviously, if you can just plug your brain in while you sleep, you can download an entire foreign language in just a few hours. (Greek or Latin may take longer.)
Multiple USB ports allow the process to happen even quicker, or can be used to download multiple languages simultaneously, as well as making downloads available to multiple bedmates in parallel.
ETA: Data rates may apply.
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### Author:  [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)
#### Post date: [January 30, 2022, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/54 "2022-01-30T14:27:06Z")
> [@UltraVires](#):
>
> without relying on the jerry rigged technology to put the ports on the bed itself.
The bed is adjustable and thus already powered. They just included some USB ports in the already electrical device, it’s not as though they came in afterwards and used nails, rubber bands and duct tape.
Plus, since the adjustable bed uses an electrical outlet, if I plugged a USB charging hub into the other electrical outlet, I wouldn’t have a place to plug in my nightstand lamp.
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### Author:  [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)
#### Post date: [January 30, 2022, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/55 "2022-01-30T15:53:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Did you check out my (apparently less than safe for work) teledildonic wiki link? Seems like things are getting real interactive out in cyberspace.
interesting and first I’ve heard of it. 🤔
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [January 30, 2022, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/56 "2022-01-30T16:03:34Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#):
>
> interesting and first I’ve heard of it. 🤔
Well, if you really like variety . . . 😉
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### Author:  [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)
#### Post date: [January 30, 2022, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/57 "2022-01-30T16:26:35Z")
for a couple years now it’s really been more Jackie Craves Stability, but it seems like too much work to change my screen name. and maybe it’s temporary, right?
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### Author:  [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2022, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/58 "2022-02-01T01:19:13Z")
My futon only has BlueTooth. However, because of its size, it seems to have much longer range than most BT devices – occasionally I will wake up to find out that some passing stranger has discovered it.
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### Author:  [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2022, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/59 "2022-02-01T03:44:33Z")
Very few beds plug into the wall. Unless you have an electric bed, to raise and lower various areas. If not, having the bed plug in just to power USBs seems _de trop_. However, I am not made of stone. Even a Luddite like myself could see the obvious use for a bed refrigerator, air fryer, heating and cooling coils, jukebox, massage module, holodeck simulator (though perhaps not the swallow tech stimulator), white noise machine, vacuum hood, ceiling projection TV, wake-up vibrations, smoke and monoxide detectors and neon lighting.
Oh. You have USBs? Cool!
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [February 1, 2022, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-bed-has-8-usb-ports-how-many-does-yours-have-what-do-you-use-them-for/958324/60 "2022-02-01T16:42:24Z")
No USB ports. We’ve got an old Analog bed.
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