# Our new puppy is not minding my wife **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 13, 2018, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040 "2018-06-13T18:07:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/21 "2018-06-18T13:27:41Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > Do you mind your wife and follow her instructions? Are you setting a good example? > > I am not being snarky. Have your wife give you commands while your dog is with you. “Monk, come here!” Go there and the dog will follow you. “Outside!” Go outside and your dog should follow you. Just some examples. Play with the dog, then have your wife tell you both, “No!” and stop what you are doing. Wife’s commands should be firm but not angry. Unless the dog is too young or just an idiot it should learn to pay attention to your wife. Right now you and the dog have bonded and what the dog wants is to please you. He does not yet see the need to please your wife. Just returning to post a quick update. The other day Bartleby was on his bed happily chewing a toy and me wife gave me the command “Madmonk, Sit!” and I instantly sat down. Bartleby instantly looked up and the toy fell out of his mouth. Imagine a puppy being slack-jawed astonished and you get the picture. His reaction was so cartoonish I couldn’t stop laughing. Thanks again for the advice. I’d post pics, but don’t have any account to do it from Needless to say, he’s adorable. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/22 "2018-06-18T14:14:45Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I know this sounds facetious, but I think part of the problem is that her command voice is comical. When she is trying to sound stern, it always comes out as kind of mock angry. Her preferred way of communicating displeasure is wicked sarcasm and a raised eyebrow, kind of lost on the dog, but very effective on me. I think it makes perfect sense. One of my SiLs whines when she berates people, specially her children; when she gives instructions she sounds like a grown-up, but when she’s angry she sounds like a toddler. After more than ten years I still want to tell her “do you think you could speak like you’re the adult? Your eight year old daughter is sounding both older and more logical than you!” Does she also tend to give the dog complicated commands? That’s something I often see people do, both with dogs and little children, and women tend to do it more than men. From your last post she’s capable of short commands, but the tendency to elaborate may be something she’ll have to look out for. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/23 "2018-06-18T14:22:43Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > You might consider having your wife feed him. That is > [ul][li]She fills the food dish[/li][li]She gives the command “Sit”.[/li][li]The dog gets nothing until he sits[/li][li]She then says “Stay”.[/li][li]Put the food on the floor[/li][li]If he tries to get at the food, take it back, and repeat “Stay” **once** [/li][li]The dog does not get fed until he Sits, and Stays, until the command “Free dog!”[/li][li]If it takes ten minutes, it takes ten minutes. If it takes twenty, it takes twenty. The dog gets nothing until he Sits, and Stays for at least a few seconds. [/li][li]Repeat every single day, at every single feeding, for at least a month.[/ul]I taught my dog not to be food-aggressive by teaching him to say grace before meals. At every meal, he runs eagerly over as I fill the dish, then runs to where I feed him. Then he Sits nicely and bows his head while I say “bless us O Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty thru Christ our Lord.” [/li] > _three to five second pause_ > > “Amen!” At which point he devours his dinner as if he hadn’t eaten in weeks. But he has to wait until I say the word. > Try hand signals. “Sit” is one finger raised. “Stay” is palm forward as if pushing. “Down” is a downward gesture with the hand open. > > Pair that with lavish praise when he does something close to right, and things will improve. > > Regards, > Shodan Excellent advice, I do very similar exercises except I leave out the religion parts (my dogs have all been atheists, my cats agnostic). Additionally, if the dog hasn’t had _ **formal** _ training, I’d enroll the dog in a six to eight week group obedience course and have your wife take him. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/24 "2018-06-18T14:27:47Z")
Throughout the animal world the thing that most affirms who’s in charge, is who eats first! Time the dog’s meals so they immediately follow hers, and you’ll send a very strong direct message. With very little actual effort on your part. You’ll be surprised at how well this will work, I think. Good Luck! ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2018, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/25 "2018-06-18T17:47:36Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > You might consider having your wife feed him. That is > [ul][li]She fills the food dish[/li][li]She gives the command “Sit”.[/li][li]The dog gets nothing until he sits[/li][li]She then says “Stay”.[/li][li]Put the food on the floor[/li][li]If he tries to get at the food, take it back, and repeat “Stay” **once** [/li][li]The dog does not get fed until he Sits, and Stays, until the command “Free dog!”[/li][li]If it takes ten minutes, it takes ten minutes. If it takes twenty, it takes twenty. The dog gets nothing until he Sits, and Stays for at least a few seconds. [/li][li]Repeat every single day, at every single feeding, for at least a month.[/ul][/li] . . . > > Pair that with lavish praise when he does something close to right, and things will improve. > > Regards, > Shodan These are what I was going to say. In canid packs s/he who brings the food leads. Also with both of you, all good things should be preceded by the dog sitting calmly. Food, petting, going through a doorway, crossing the street, permission to join you on the sofa, etc. All should require him to sit calmly first. This habit saved my bacon when I couldn’t get Celtdog to understand that jumping on people was bad. He was thrilled to see them and extremely attention-driven, so just lost his mind when strangers entered his orbit. But when sitting calmly became the only way to get petted, he stopped jumping. Sometimes he sits on their shoes in his eagerness to get close enough, but I’ll take it. LOL! > [@Aspidistra](#): > > I am a cat person, and have zero problem with your post. > > Yes, half the point of having a cat is that you have to do zero sucky leady crap with them. > . . . I had a cat, and having never raised one before, trained her like a dog. She came when called, and sat up and begged, etc. I never could break her of knocking over my water glasses though. > [@madmonk28](#): > > Just returning to post a quick update. The other day Bartleby was on his bed happily chewing a toy and me wife gave me the command “Madmonk, Sit!” and I instantly sat down. > > Bartleby instantly looked up and the toy fell out of his mouth. Imagine a puppy being slack-jawed astonished and you get the picture. His reaction was so cartoonish I couldn’t stop laughing. Thanks again for the advice. I’d post pics, but don’t have any account to do it from Needless to say, he’s adorable. ROFL! Paste pic here: [![Imgur](https://s.imgur.com/images/logo-1200-630.png "Imgur") ](https://imgur.com/upload) Copy URL of resulting pic. Paste URL here: [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=21030224#post21030224](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=21030224#post21030224) ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/26 "2018-06-19T02:55:13Z")
DiL knows where he stands. Pretty sure he he knows he ain’t worth shit. The three went off today. A neighbor he doesn’t know caught him easily, despite her lack of a cop car. (he likes cop cars). Little Girls ran off, though they don’t know my car. No McDonalds freight. Dogs are fucking stupid. FTR, she’s cute. Dogs don’t know cute. ---
**Author:** ![PAjoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pajoe/32/58_2.png) [@PAjoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PAjoe)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/27 "2018-06-19T13:15:37Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Bartleby is just telling your wife, “I prefer not to.” Melville reference. well done. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/28 "2018-06-19T13:18:59Z")
> [@PAjoe](#): > > Melville reference. well done. I named him after the Melville character. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/29 "2018-06-19T13:23:39Z")
[[Album] imgur.com ![](https://i.imgur.com/kQMFodi.jpeg?fb "imgur.com") ](https://imgur.com/a/xhwHzVi) Tada! ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/30 "2018-06-19T13:25:52Z")
> [@PAjoe](#): > > Melville reference. well done. Thanks, I don’t make the smart jokes too often. > [@madmonk28](#): > > I named him after the Melville character. And you expected him to mind? ETA: Oh, precious thing! ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/31 "2018-06-19T14:17:57Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > [Imgur: The magic of the Internet](https://imgur.com/a/xhwHzVi) > > Tada! Adorable. Don’t you just hate that though? You spend a fortune on buying them toys, and they sit around playing with the packaging. SMDH 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/32 "2018-06-19T14:25:46Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > [Imgur: The magic of the Internet](https://imgur.com/a/xhwHzVi) > > Tada! Awww, too cute! [Kali and Loki say hi.](https://imgur.com/Tx8KQHw) ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/33 "2018-06-19T15:17:27Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > [Imgur: The magic of the Internet](https://imgur.com/a/xhwHzVi) > > Tada! Gorgeous! I was going to say I love the name “Bartleby”, but now I can also say, the name is somehow just a perfect fit! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/34 "2018-06-19T16:15:10Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Awww, too cute! [Kali and Loki say hi.](https://imgur.com/Tx8KQHw) Handsome hounds. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/35 "2018-06-19T18:00:24Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Thanks, I don’t make the smart jokes too often. > And you expected him to mind? > > ETA: Oh, precious thing! I love telling him to do elaborate tricks he’s never been trained to do and then telling observers “he prefers not to.” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/36 "2018-06-19T18:29:43Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > Handsome hounds. Kali (the GSD) blushed and murmured a thanks. Loki just shrugged her shoulders and said, “well, yeah”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2018, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/37 "2018-06-19T19:18:45Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Gorgeous! I was going to say I love the name “Bartleby”, but now I can also say, the name is somehow just a perfect fit! 🙂 I know, right? I mentioned we play a game I call piggy/chicken/ball. I throw three items and then call out the one I want him to bring back and drop then the next and the next. Each round gets faster and faster and more frantic until finally I’m screaming “Bartleby! My God where’s chicken? Bartleby, chicken is out there somewhere, where is chicken, Bartleby what have you done??!!” Inevitably, he runs back to get an item with the previous item still in his mouth, then he kind of shuttles each item one by one back to me. Move the piggy a foot, go back and get the chicken, etc. It’s my favorite thing in the world. My wife and I think it’s hysterical. My in laws were like “WTF is going on?” Plus Bartleby growled at my father in law, so he’s got some sense. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2018, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040/38 "2018-06-20T02:14:38Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > DiL knows where he stands. Pretty sure he he knows he ain’t worth shit. The three went off today. A neighbor he doesn’t know caught him easily, despite her lack of a cop car. (he likes cop cars). Little Girls ran off, though they don’t know my car. No McDonalds freight. > > Dogs are fucking stupid. > > FTR, she’s cute. Dogs don’t know cute. Translation? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-new-puppy-is-not-minding-my-wife/816040.md?page=1)