# Our Opal... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 15, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-opal/652974 "2013-03-15T02:39:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 1\ **Showing post:** 42
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-opal/652974/42 "2013-03-16T06:11:53Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > If you’re “honoring the dead” in a way that doesn’t acknowledge the whole person, that may be somber, but it sure as shit ain’t respectful. Painting someone who was just a regular old flawed human being like the rest of us as a martyr or saint or the Second Coming robs them of their humanity and cheapens their loss. After all, who sincerely mourns a cardboard cutout? Let me speak from my own personal experience. YMMV. The survivors are certainly aware of the deceased’s flaws. But they are in a vulnerable and possibly conflicted emotional state, and they simply may not want to hear about those flaws _right then_. It’s really much safer to be bland and kind unless you are on very familiar terms with all involved. OTOH, I only know OpalCat and JillGat (and her mother) from what they’ve posted on the SDMB, and thus absolutely no insight as to how JillGat’s remarks might be received. From the other thread: > [@How to memorialize people](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-memorialize-people/652970/53): > > Some of you here actively gossiped about and insulted Opal while she was alive and cruelly mocked her struggles with mental illness. And now these same people are sanctimoniously piling on and attacking me for saying that I’m sorry she didn’t get a chance to document, illustrate and discuss her final life chapter. I have to say that I was thinking this myself. As I said, I didn’t know Opal beyond the SDMB. She seemed to have a deep sadness and recurring problems, and her accomplishments never really overcame those. I didn’t feel strongly about her one way or the other, so I didn’t post in the other thread. But I was shocked to hear of Opal’s death, just because to me she was a de facto SDMB personality. --- _[View the full topic](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/our-opal/652974)._