# Out The Celebrity Undead! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 6, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931 "2004-10-06T22:00:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/41 "2004-10-07T15:27:00Z")
gooti writes: \> I’m suspicious of Amy Irving. I recently saw her on Dinner For Five and she’s \> barely aged since Carrie. She may have talent, but she definately has no \> soul…after all, she was married to Spielberg for a while. Have you ever read _Easy Riders, Raging Bulls_ by Peter Biskind? It’s a very well regarded history of the period from about 1967 to 1981 in the American film industry. Amy Irving comes across as being the most dislikeable person in Hollywood in this period. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/42 "2004-10-07T15:37:41Z")
Jaclyn Smith ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/43 "2004-10-07T16:00:06Z")
Madonna. She hasn’t changed (beyond wacky styles) since 1982. > [@plnnr](#): > > I, like Zonker Harris, have competed in the George Hamilton, Greater Palm Springs, Tanning Open. I came in third behind a nudist from Clearwater and a surfer from suburban Sydney. You too? I was disqualified for too much chest hair and too many tattoos. (This was 15 years ago, before eveyone and his brother had them.) ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/44 "2004-10-07T16:31:23Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > So long as Star Trek has been raised, can I say Shatner? Does that fluke Emmy he just won (not for being terrific, IMO, but for being better than expected and therefore blinding voters to the fact that he is, in fact, still fairly talentless) exclude him for the possibility of undeadness? Gotta disagree with the talentless tag. His new album _Has Been_ is great, even considering the 106 second spoken word piece about what he did when he found his wife in the pool. (Not sure I ever want to hear that one again.) But you’re probably refering to his acting, which I always thought, well, restricted in range. But not talentless. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/45 "2004-10-07T16:47:37Z")
> [@bughunter](#): > > - Sherman Hemsley. Hasn’t changed a bit. Here I was all set to post snarky about how he’s changed quite a bit since he died, but it turns out he’s not dead! How dare he not be dead! > [@bughunter](#): > > And what about Cher? She arguably has some talent, but doesn’t appear to have changed much since _The Mask_. You think _Cher_ hasn’t had plastic surgery?! Are you high? ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/46 "2004-10-07T19:44:49Z")
Celebrities wishing to become vampires are required to wait until they are 23 before being “converted,” for obvious reasons… a child star who never grows up would be extremely suspicious. But for some reason, an exception was made for **Gary Coleman**. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/47 "2004-10-07T19:50:06Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > You think _Cher_ hasn’t had plastic surgery?! Are you high? OK, sorry. My bad. In her stead, I give you… **Casey Kasem** ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/48 "2004-10-07T19:55:09Z")
> [@Agrippina](#): > > Yeah he looks old, but you know he’s always been a vampire since the 1960s. Must be those sunglasses he wears 24/7. They’re very special sunglasses. They protect his entire body from the Sun’s UV (Unhealthy for Vampire) rays. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/49 "2004-10-07T20:15:53Z")
How about the $cientology clique? Priscilla Presley? John Travolta and Kelly Preston? Nancy Cartwright? Isaac “Shaft” Hayes? Anne Archer? Leah Remini? Jenna Elfman? Catherine Bell? Greta Van Susteren? Corin “Corky” Nemec? The Masterson brothers? And yes, I’ll even haul out the big gun - Tom Cruise? And without question, Edgar Winter. I mean, come on. I’m looking at them and I’m thinking that the Scieno HQ may just be the biggest vampire lair in all of Hollywood… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/50 "2004-10-07T20:53:32Z")
Ralph “Karate Kid” Macchio! And Emmanuel “My parents took out a restraining order against Michael Jackson” Lewis has just gotten a bit chubbier. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/51 "2004-10-08T03:31:31Z")
These guys have talent, but still need to be mentioned: **Roger Daltry**. I saw The Who in concert in about 1993, and the guy looked exactly like he did in 1969. **Paul McCartney** is starting to look a little jowly, but he definitely does not look 60 years old. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/52 "2004-10-08T05:34:22Z")
What about **Charo**? She looks exactly as she did in the '70’s. Why would anyone still want to see her do her whacky Latina schtick over 40+ years anyway? The only thing that might save her from being a vampire is that I hear she is quite a gifted flaminco guitarist. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/53 "2004-10-08T10:40:29Z")
Keanu Reeves. How old is he now? Doesn’t look like he’s aged a bit from Bill And Ted - perhaps it was his turn in Bram Stoker’s Dracula that did it. Perhaps it’s a Dorian Gray type of deal - surrender your acting ability in exchange for eternal beauty. How many of these people have had their attics checked recently for hideous portraits, anyway? In case anyone’s wondering David Bowie, he paints his own hideous portraits, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/54 "2004-10-08T10:53:54Z")
Dennis Quaid could be a borderline vampire. He has shown acting ability long ago, but picks such stinkbombs to be in. Now, his brother, Randy is no vampire. Am I going to be the first to mention **Dennis Richards**? She is as undead as undead can get. I think \*\*Aston Kutcher \*\* is undead as well. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/55 "2004-10-08T10:55:09Z")
**Demi Moore** , I believe is the Lead Vampiress. With that voice and body and all. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/56 "2004-10-08T11:16:48Z")
> [@Tikki](#): > > What about **Charo**? She looks exactly as she did in the '70’s. Unless you look at her face. Which I’m sure not a lot of people do. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/57 "2004-10-08T12:15:20Z")
Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell are the poster couple for the undead. ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/58 "2004-10-08T13:23:07Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell are the poster couple for the undead. I think it’s fairly obvious that Hawn has had plenty of surgery. Don’t they tease her (or at least her character) about it in “The First Wives Club”? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/59 "2004-10-08T14:16:49Z")
And I remember Kurt Russell playing a jungle boy on an episode of _Gilligan’s Island_ when he was about 13. He looks taller now. ---
**Author:** ![jellyblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@jellyblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellyblue)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931/60 "2004-10-08T17:15:18Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > **Demi Moore** , I believe is the Lead Vampiress. With that voice and body and all. I’ll second Demi Moore as the UberVamp. She actually looks younger now than she did in the 80’s. And someone really did freeze Jaclyn Smith in time. I saw a print ad of her the other day & was like “Holy shit!” How about Kevin Bacon? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/out-the-celebrity-undead/267931.md?page=4)