# Outrageous lies about the previous poster. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 5, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875 "2007-05-05T13:03:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1 "2007-05-05T13:03:21Z")
Simple enough little game. Just make up outrageous lies about whoever posted before you, the madder the better. Since I’m the first poster, whoever posts next might say something like: _“George Kaplin casts no shadow. He is instead followed everywhere by a puddle of mysterious pink slime which absorbs everything it comes into contact with. His username is an anagram of SUPPORTS TERRORISM.”_ Over to you. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/2 "2007-05-05T13:10:16Z")
**George Kaplin** –a creature with no thumbs, & no desire for any. Jabbering aimlessly, his day is only relieved by endless, self-admininsterted blows to his head. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/3 "2007-05-05T13:30:00Z")
**Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor** was forcibly kicked out of his home for conspiring to remove the wallpaper from the bathroom with his toenails. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/4 "2007-05-05T13:32:39Z")
Snakescatlady: Officials are still attempting to decide if any therapy will be of any value after the petting zoo incident… FML ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/5 "2007-05-05T13:34:04Z")
You know those signs at the zoo by the monkey island that forbid you from throwing food items and other things down at the monkeys? Well you all can thank \*\*Snakescatlady \*\* for that. She’s wiped out not one, but two entire monkey island populations thanks to her penchant for tossing things at the monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/6 "2007-05-05T13:46:55Z")
You know those little plastic thingies that are put on the end of toothbrushes that seem to have no real purpose. Well, those were invented by **Cluricaun** , who receives so much in royalites from them that he doesn’t have to work and can spend all day on the Internet. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/7 "2007-05-05T14:01:35Z")
**FullMetalLotus** is the reason that we can no longer enjoy pudding cups on airplanes. ETA: **AnnieXmas** is the only person ever to be banned from Chuck E. Cheese for intimidating the mouse. Now we’re caught up! ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/8 "2007-05-05T14:03:30Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] **FullMetalLotus** is the reason that we can no longer enjoy pudding cups on airplanes. [/QUOTE] \*\*Swampbear \*\*is a quite reasonable and honest person. Anyone should feel secure in the company of **Swampbear**. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/9 "2007-05-05T14:05:43Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] \*\*Swampbear \*\*is a quite reasonable and honest person. Anyone should feel secure in the company of **Swampbear**. [/QUOTE] :dubious: I like it! **Contrapuntal** is often seen eating grass in his neighbor’s yard. ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/10 "2007-05-05T14:06:30Z")
**Swampbear** was only driving past at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/11 "2007-05-05T14:09:19Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] **Swampbear** was only driving past at the time. [/QUOTE] **TheLoadedDog** neither drinks nor owns a dog. He is severally dyslexic and thinks his screenname is **Goddedaoleht** , the name of an obscure Native American deity. ---
**Author:** ![CeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/12 "2007-05-05T14:09:56Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] **Swampbear** was only driving past at the time. [/QUOTE] TheLoadedDog IS, in fact, loaded at this very minute. Having recently returned from a trip to Amsterdam, he was overheard yesterday saying, “Now, where did I put that goat I married and what’s this shopping cart full of WD40 doing on my lawn?” ---
**Author:** ![CeilingWhacks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8baadc/32.png) [@CeilingWhacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CeilingWhacks)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/13 "2007-05-05T14:11:01Z")
[QUOTE=CeilingWhacks] TheLoadedDog IS, in fact, loaded at this very minute. Having recently returned from a trip to Amsterdam, he was overheard yesterday saying, “Now, where did I put that goat I married and what’s this shopping cart full of WD40 doing on my lawn?” [/QUOTE] Dang, a lying simulpost! Oh well, more lies for your value. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/14 "2007-05-05T14:14:12Z")
**CeilingWhacks** is responsible for the skid marks in everyone’s underwear. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/15 "2007-05-05T14:15:30Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] **CeilingWhacks** is responsible for the skid marks in everyone’s underwear. [/QUOTE] \*\*Swampbear \*\* was spotted bare…in a swamp. It’s true. A friend of my co-worker’s sister saw him. (again with the nekkid **Swampy**!) ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/16 "2007-05-05T14:25:09Z")
Kalhoun has such a violent temper that he once punched a guy in the face so hard his glasses came out his ass. In one piece. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/17 "2007-05-05T14:25:40Z")
George Kaplin is one of only two beings in the universe who can put the fear of god into Vin Diesel. The other is Stephen Seagal. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/18 "2007-05-05T14:28:16Z")
[QUOTE=George Kaplin] Kalhoun has such a violent temper that he once punched a guy in the face so hard his glasses came out his ass. In one piece. [/QUOTE] Kalhoun is a chicklette. Aside from that, this is a true statement. George Kaplin was the victim. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/19 "2007-05-05T14:32:50Z")
Kalhoun was Andrew Jackson’s first choice for Vice President until the truth came out about her shall we say, fetish for pudding enemas. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2007, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/20 "2007-05-05T14:33:11Z")
\*\*photopat \*\* has, to this day defied medical science by subsisting solely on a diet of Sugar Pops and chocolate covered crickets. Yes, you read that right - crickets. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875.md?page=2)