# Outrageous lies about the previous poster.

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 5, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875 "2007-05-05T13:03:21Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 58

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### Author: ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2007, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1141 "2007-05-31T23:39:05Z")

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**betenoir** was in Charles Nelson Reilly’s bed waiting for him to get home from being in my bed with **Sampiro** \* when he (CNR, not **Sampiro** ) died.

\ ***NOTE TO SELF:** Go buy new bed.

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### Author: ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1142 "2007-06-01T00:12:53Z")

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[QUOTE=swampbear]  
**betenoir** was in Charles Nelson Reilly’s bed waiting for him to get home from being in my bed with **Sampiro** \* when he (CNR, not **Sampiro** ) died.

\ ***NOTE TO SELF:** Go buy new bed.  
[/QUOTE]  
I saw \*\*swampbear \*\* out buying a new king-sized bed today. The custom rust coating, the rhinestones, the ermine canopy and the air horns that sound at \*just the right time \* were okay – but didja hafta ask the elderly saleman if he was part of the package, 'cause you needed someone to play the part of the dead man in your, your sordid, uhm, doings?

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### Author: ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1143 "2007-06-01T00:31:06Z")

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[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting]  
I saw \*\*swampbear \*\* out buying a new king-sized bed today. The custom rust coating, the rhinestones, the ermine canopy and the air horns that sound at \*just the right time \* were okay – but didja hafta ask the elderly saleman if he was part of the package, 'cause you needed someone to play the part of the dead man in your, your sordid, uhm, doings?  
[/QUOTE]

**5-4-Fighting**? Look, I know you’re sorry that the meth was bad and that the girl was only 13. You have to turn yourself in! The cops are sniffing around and It’s only a matter of time before they hear your retarded brother wailing. The cave walls are thick but they are not soundproof, you know? We’ve had to stop making movies for 2 weeks now. Where do you expect me to get enough money to pay Drou? Seriously, turn yourself in. You got aquitted for for the murders and the rape, Drouchovsky can pull it off again!

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### Author: ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1144 "2007-06-01T00:59:49Z")

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[QUOTE=Gozu]  
**5-4-Fighting**? Look, I know you’re sorry that the meth was bad and that the girl was only 13. You have to turn yourself in! The cops are sniffing around and It’s only a matter of time before they hear your retarded brother wailing. The cave walls are thick but they are not soundproof, you know? We’ve had to stop making movies for 2 weeks now. Where do you expect me to get enough money to pay Drou? Seriously, turn yourself in. You got aquitted for for the murders and the rape, Drouchovsky can pull it off again!  
[/QUOTE]

Damn! You promised me a role in your movies. In **swampbear** ’s new bed. With **betenoir** (possibly a woman) and **Annie-the hellhound-Xmas**.

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### Author: ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1145 "2007-06-01T01:38:17Z")

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[QUOTE=swampbear]  
**betenoir** was in Charles Nelson Reilly’s bed waiting for him to get home from being in my bed with **Sampiro** \* when he (CNR, not **Sampiro**

\ ***NOTE TO SELF:** Go buy new bed.  
[/QUOTE]

Hey! I spent all night on that heart shaped bed, till I realized I might be better off with a heterosexual. Perfectly good bed though.

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### Author: ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1146 "2007-06-01T07:24:03Z")

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**betenoir** has a buttocks-shaped bed which is now very jealous.

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### Author: ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1147 "2007-06-01T07:33:23Z")

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[QUOTE=fetus]  
**betenoir** has a buttocks-shaped bed which is now very jealous.  
[/QUOTE]

Fetus’s real name is _Fetus_. His siblings are named Blastocyte, Stem, and Zygo. He also has a half-brother named Partial Birth.

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### Author: ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1148 "2007-06-01T08:38:56Z")

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Sampiro has a breast shaped bed which he has no idea what to do with.

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### Author: ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1149 "2007-06-01T09:08:30Z")

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**Sampiro** ’s real name is Swamp Bear McCoy. He does not live in a swamp, but he does live in the Bear Flag State, where he has a reputation as a ladies’ man.

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### Author: ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1150 "2007-06-01T10:18:19Z")

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**fetus** plays Ultimate Frisbee in the nude.

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### Author: ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1151 "2007-06-01T10:24:17Z")

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\*\*Cartooniverse \*\* is a cranky 87-year-old Japanese WWII veteran who spent four full decades hiding out on a small Pacific island refusing to believe the war was over. Even now he privately insists that all the evidence he has been confronted with over the past 22 years has been forged. Naturally, he blames American imperialists. His revenge, when he finally unleashes it, will be terrible.

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### Author: ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1152 "2007-06-01T13:02:18Z")

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**Malacandra** had a small part in the film _Saving Private Ryan_ he played the part of a pebble.

Unfortunately he was killed in the opening sequence and reduced to sand

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### Author: ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1153 "2007-06-01T13:17:29Z")

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–cleans nails idly with tip of Ginsu knife-- Listen, pal. Truth hurts sometimes. 😛  
**Chowder** spent all of the 11th grade in a pot-induced haze that was most costly in terms of the D in French and the inability to focus after lunch.

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### Author: ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1154 "2007-06-01T13:22:16Z")

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**Cartooniverse** was once given a brand new ten speed bike by his parents because he managed to make it a whole week without pulling his pants down in public.

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### Author: ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1155 "2007-06-01T13:35:23Z")

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**swampbear** is so hilariously badly-coordinated that he is incapable of riding a bike. Although he _does_ like pulling down the pants of those who do.

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### Author: ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1156 "2007-06-01T14:07:41Z")

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**Elendil’s Heir** enjoys riding her bicycle without pants on. She claims it’s just so **swampbear** can’t pull them down.

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### Author: ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1157 "2007-06-01T15:00:53Z")

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Bless her little pointy head, **Lady Il Palazzo** apparently doesn’t realize that I’m a dude; otherwise I’d be **Elendil’s Heiress**.

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### Author: ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1158 "2007-06-01T15:25:49Z")

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My humble apologies, sir.

**Elendil’s Heir** is as bad at figuring out people’s genders online as I am.

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### Author: ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1159 "2007-06-01T15:31:31Z")

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**Lord Il Palazzo** has a pathological aversion to garlic and crucifixes.

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### Author: ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1160 "2007-06-01T15:59:56Z")

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Although named **VunderBob** this actually refers to her hair style and not her gender.

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