# Outrageous lies about the previous poster.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 5, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875 "2007-05-05T13:03:21Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 61
### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1201 "2007-06-03T00:28:30Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear]
**Sampiro** once lost his shirt and all his VCR tapes of _Laverne & Shirley_ (he had the complete series!) betting on 'possum races.
[/QUOTE]
**Swampbear** , bein’ a Yankee and all, breeds competion-quality possums for profit, and is a self-made bazillionaire.
---
### Author:  [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1202 "2007-06-03T00:55:00Z")
**VunderBob’s** jealous of **swampbear** , because **VunderBob** gave **swampbear** the very first pair of possums to breed. **VunderBob** would have gone into the possum business himself, but he was too busy trying to sell worm farms to tourists just outside of Macon.
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### Author:  [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1203 "2007-06-03T00:58:04Z")
[QUOTE=VunderBob]
**Swampbear** , bein’ a Yankee and all, breeds competion-quality possums for profit, and is a self-made bazillionaire.
[/QUOTE]
**Scribble** rescues the possums when they have finished racing. He gives them their own rooms with little beds in. Then he tucks them in every night. Then…I think it is better left unsaid.
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### Author:  [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1204 "2007-06-03T03:18:12Z")
**rayh** bought several worm farms from **VunderBob** outside of Macon.
---
### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1205 "2007-06-03T10:44:46Z")
**Lord I Palazzo** once played professional croquet for The Macon Bacon.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1206 "2007-06-03T11:01:13Z")
[QUOTE=VunderBob]
**Swampbear** , bein’ a **Yankee** and all, breeds competion-quality possums for profit, and is a self-made bazillionaire.
[/QUOTE]
Bolding mine. _Yankee_???!!! :eek: Quick somebody fetch the smelling salts!
**VunderBob** is the lead dancer in the Mayberry Ballet Company. He is especially proud because this year’s premier ballet is one of his own composition… _Hog Pond_.
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### Author:  [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1207 "2007-06-03T12:02:27Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear]
Bolding mine. _Yankee_???!!! :eek: Quick somebody fetch the smelling salts!
\*.
[/QUOTE]
:eek: Really? and I establishied he’s realy heterosexual. And now a bizzillonair? I’ll be right over.
(Of course if he’s not really a hetrosexual perhaps I really am a naked man…admittedly a pretty porely well hung one…but for a bizzilion bucks I can fake it)
---
### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1208 "2007-06-03T13:38:05Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir]
:eek: Really? and I establishied he’s realy heterosexual. And now a bizzillonair? I’ll be right over.
(Of course if he’s not really a hetrosexual perhaps I really am a naked man…admittedly a pretty porely well hung one…but for a bizzilion bucks I can fake it)
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I’m straight but feel strangely compelled to have a gay man wake up next to me every morning. I’ve never quite figured out this compulsion. 😃
**betenoir** also feels compelled to have a gay man wake up next to her (or is it him) every morning.
---
### Author:  [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1209 "2007-06-03T14:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear]
Yeah, I’m straight but feel strangely compelled to have a gay man wake up next to me every morning. I’ve never quite figured out this compulsion. 😃
**betenoir** also feels compelled to have a gay man wake up next to her (or is it him) every morning.
[/QUOTE]
It seems both **bete-gender confused-noir** and **swamp-sexually confused-bear** are uniquely suited to each other.
---
### Author:  [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1210 "2007-06-03T19:29:52Z")
[QUOTE=rayh]
It seems both **bete-gender confused-noir** and **swamp-sexually confused-bear** are uniquely suited to each other.
[/QUOTE]
As is **Ray-Just Plain Confused-h**.
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### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1211 "2007-06-03T19:40:11Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear]
Bolding mine. _Yankee_???!!! :eek: Quick somebody fetch the smelling salts!
[/QUOTE]
[Aside]The point of this game is outrageous lies, isn’t it?[\Aside]
😛
---
### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1212 "2007-06-03T20:05:56Z")
[QUOTE=VunderBob]
[Aside]The point of this game is outrageous lies, isn’t it?[\Aside]
😛
[/QUOTE]
[Aside]This one was even worse than the one about me being not gay![/Aside]
**Lord Il Palazzo** keeps a GI Joe [del]doll[/del] action figure as a love slave.
**VunderBob** was thrown out of elementary school for propositioning the lunchroom ladies.
---
### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1213 "2007-06-03T20:28:38Z")
**Swampbear** is a streetcorner evangelist, preaching the gospel of the shorn scrotum.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1214 "2007-06-03T21:58:30Z")
**VunderBob** is my devoted disciple.
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### Author:  [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1215 "2007-06-03T22:59:18Z")
It was **swampbear** who persuaded **VunderBob** to stick with the worm farm business. It was **swampbear** ’s holy calling to render possums unto the Lord.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1216 "2007-06-03T23:16:41Z")
It was actually **Scribble’s** voice I heard when I felt the call to render possums to the Lord.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1217 "2007-06-03T23:24:39Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear]
It was actually **Scribble’s** voice I heard when I felt the call to render possums to the Lord.
[/QUOTE]
Swampbear has written a letter to Sanjaya every day for the past 4 months, each one posing as a terminally-ill 15 year old super-fan named Tiffnee Gazelle DeSwamp and begging to lose her virginity to him “before it’s too late”. He also has the video equipment and pay-per-view arrangements all set up.
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [June 3, 2007, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1218 "2007-06-03T23:52:14Z")
**Sampiro** is secretly straight as Mitt Romney, and is married to the lovely and talented Allison Janney. They have three children together, twin boys and a girl who has **Sampiro** wrapped around her little finger.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2007, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1219 "2007-06-04T00:27:14Z")
**ivylass** knows cause she’s **Sampiro’s** mistress.
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### Author:  [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)
#### Post date: [June 4, 2007, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outrageous-lies-about-the-previous-poster/402875/1220 "2007-06-04T01:06:31Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass]
**Sampiro** is secretly straight as Mitt Romney, and is married to the lovely and talented Allison Janney. They have three children together, twin boys and a girl who has **Sampiro** wrapped around her little finger.
[/QUOTE]
Don’t you mention my precious little Bo, Luke, and Daisy (or her unfortunate problem with super-glue and really long fingernails)! And Allison and I split when she agreed to participate in that HAIRSPRAY movie with a known Scientologist who wasn’t even Harvey Fierstein.
Swampbear has seen the future through a crystal Rubik’s Cube and knows that by 2094 every living human being will call Loretta Lynn “The Great and Holy Mother”.
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