# Outside Opinion: Bisexuality **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 6, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315 "2003-05-06T02:21:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/61 "2003-05-07T17:10:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Broomstick \* > \*\*Hey, I can love a woman, I’m just not _sexually attracted_ to a woman. I mean, I can love my parents, my siblings, my (hypothetical) children without sex coming into the equation. > \*\* Actually, I was referring to _“fall in love with”_ as in the bigger picture of being “attracted to someone intellectually, emotionally _and_ sexually” not “love” as in “I love my mom and I love my cat.” I “love” my best friend. I am “in love” with my girlfriend. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/62 "2003-05-07T17:29:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by guava \* > **. . . however, by having a spouse and a girlfriend, supports my original perception that bisexuals are promiscuous. And because people with my warped perception exist, monogamous people are more hesistant to label themselves as bisexual. This perpetuates the stereotype because then the only bisexuals I hear about are promiscuous ones.** Something to note too, it that to a degree, bisexuality can be “invisible.” For example, if you see me walking down the street holding my girlfriend’s hand your brain will probably think “a-ha, two lesbians”. If you see me holding hands with a guy, your brain will think “a-ha, straight couple.” Visual cues tend to be really important to people, the only way they could _see_ “Crayons=bisexual” would be if I was with a man and a woman at the same time. This contributes greatly to the impression that bisexuality and promiscuity or polyamory go hand in hand. For the general population the notion of bisexuality comes from one of the only places where they can _see_ it, which is usually in a promiscuity-laden porn context. At work, where everyone has met Sniffs\_Markers, someone once made a friendly wisecrack about me “not liking guys.” I was confused for a second until I realized that unless I _say_ I’m bisexual (or I start dating a guy), they are going to assume I’m “gay”. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/63 "2003-05-07T17:45:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priceguy \* > \*\*If it was just assertive, like “just so you know, we ain’t interested”, it’d be one thing (and even that would be rude), but it’s not. It’s like “you can’t fuck us, neener neener neener!”. And it’s not even defensive, it’s decidedly aggressive. I hate it coming from anyone, but especially from these pretend-bisexuals. \*\* Eeeew, that would piss me off too. Can’t blame you there and I think I would reply something to the effect of “Who would WANT to.” accompanied by some gagging noise. 😉 Anyway in response to the monogamy question. I am monogamous - whatever sex I happen to be dating at the time. If I’m sleeping with one person, I am not sleeping with anyone else and I don’t think that has as much to do with a persons sexual orientation as it does with their trust worthiness. If I were with a woman in a committed relationship, I might be attracted to a man but it doesn’t mean I would act on it, same ting with a man. I was married for 11 years and never slept with anyone else. PERIOD. It isn’t like I would get this wild craving for sex with the other gender and go on a hunt. I think that goes back to the mis conception that bisexuals are somehow more promiscuous. I HATE that. I am flexible it doesn’t mean I am a slut. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/45deac/32.png) [@Evil\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_One)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/64 "2003-05-07T17:47:02Z")
41 year old male, 21 year old bisexual wife. I win. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/65 "2003-05-07T17:49:35Z")
🙂 Just the fact that you are 41 and she is 21 makes you win. ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/66 "2003-05-07T18:04:30Z")
Except she will outlive you and then one of us will date her 😛 ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/67 "2003-05-07T18:51:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Contrary \* > \*\*Except she will outlive you and then one of us will date her 😛 \*\* Okay that is pretty funny and considering the subject it could be ANY ONE OF US! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/68 "2003-05-07T19:34:30Z")
Ex_act_ly. ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/69 "2003-05-07T22:16:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by guava \* > **robgruver however, by having a spouse and a girlfriend, supports my original perception that bisexuals are promiscuous. And because people with my warped perception exist, monogamous people are more hesistant to label themselves as bisexual. This perpetuates the stereotype because then the only bisexuals I hear about are promiscuous ones.** I suppose I did not make it clear in my OP about my ‘girlfriend’. My wife and I have what we call ‘Thirds’. These are people that we love, care about, and yes, sleep with. They can be male or female, and we have had 4 Thirds. If you ask Becky (my ‘girlfriend’ from the OP) she will tell you that she gets everything she needs from us, and we get what we need from her. I do not belive that I am promiscuous now (although I know I have been in the past). Just because my wife and I take another lover does not mean we fuck anything with a hole, you know? ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/70 "2003-05-10T15:53:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priam \* > \*\*I think bisexual females see less acceptance within the gay community because of the “boyfriend bis” already mentioned in the thread. I’ll admit it _does_ get under my skin when some ditz in the big city (boyfriend bi doesn’t fly well in rural America from all I’ve seen) frenches her friends for free drinks and cockteasing, abusing the freedoms those honest to God bisexuals before her struggled so hard to win alongside their gay brethren. Its disrespectful and devalues same sex relationships for the sake of titillating her suitors. > > They can burn. \*\* This is a bit much. They can _burn?_ I haven’t finished reading the thread, yet, so if someone else has already called you on this, I apologize for the double whammy. But, that’s a pretty nasty attitude. Do you enjoy it when those same rural Americans you mentioned say that about you? And, I don’t see what the big deal is. Is it that you resent that the people who “struggled so hard” to make open homosexuality accepted don’t have any monuments built in their honor? How does two silly girls kissing devalue anything, other than themselves? _Abusing the freedoms?_ What the hell does _that_ mean? Do these freedoms apply only to those you approve of? Because, that’s not the definition of freedom; that’s the definition of privilege. And, it’s exclusionary. In order for them to _abuse_ those hard-earned freedoms, they’d have to be doing something that “real” bi/gay women wouldn’t do. Something like making out during church service, or at a funeral. If they’re doing it in a bar, or at Spring Break, they aren’t abusing the freedom, they’re using it. Maybe they should say thank you, but kids don’t seem to say thank you for anything, these days. And, those girls aren’t mocking anyone. They probably aren’t smart enough to understand mockery. They’re doing something to amuse and titillate (though they’d probably just giggle over that word) their friends. Something they feel comfortable doing, and which their mothers almost certainly wouldn’t have been comfortable with. I’d say that’s something of a victory for sexual freedom. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Priam \* > \*\*If a girl comes up to you and says out of the blue “don’t think I’m gonna let you fuck me!” (and yes, this has happened to me), how on Earth do you explain that you hadn’t even noticed her up to that point? \*\* You don’t. You just laugh, and go back to what you were doing. Back on topic, I’m a straight male (I dunno…0.3, maybe?) who doesn’t have a problem with bisexuality. It’s none of my damn business who anyone else sleeps with. (But, if you hear any good gossip, be sure to let me know. ;)) ---
**Author:** ![if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/fbc32d/32.png) [@if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if_you_don_t_know_i_won_t_tell)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/71 "2003-05-10T21:37:15Z")
I’ve never really understood, or agreed with, making labels of such things. I mean, after all, it changes, and you never know… but as far as my opinion goes, I say be with whoever you love. I mean… I’m generally straight, but I’ve been attracted to one particular girl. So just be with whoever you like, love is special, and should be cherished, regardless of how society designates the other person. ---
**Author:** ![sj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@sj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sj2)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315/72 "2003-05-11T04:34:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marley23 \* > \*\*Straight atheist. Do whatever you enjoy, be safe, and have fun. \*\* Yes, multiple times, but with the caveat that all parties know that extent of the physical and emotional relationship. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/outside-opinion-bisexuality/173315.md?page=3)