Reproductive issues aside, I don’t think either sex has a clear or obvious edge – whether in terms of relationships, business, health, etc.
Amen! For the past few weeks I’ve been cursing both modern science and my female-ness:[ul]
[li]there’s the whole monthly ordeal (mine are pretty easy, but it’s still a pain in the ass to have to deal with when I have no intention of getting pregnant any time soon…maybe ever, and I’m only 33)[/li][li]no form of birth control – that involves actually getting to have intercourse that culminates in orgasm – is 100% reliable (we need to work on this!!)[/li][li]the most effective forms of birth control for women involve either screwing up our hormones/cycles, or having surgery that is much more significant than a man’s vasectomy (which also is not 100% reliable)[/li][li]if we get pregnant and don’t want to stay that way there is a significant medical process involved, with risks to our health[/li][li]when we finally don’t have to worry about getting pregnant anymore it’s because we’ve been through menopause, which also screws up our hormones and is generally a pain in the ass[/ul][/li]It shouldn’t be so difficult for straight folks to avoid procreating when we don’t want to; and, women (straight or gay) who know they don’t ever want kids shouldn’t have to deal with this crap. :mad:
Maybe I’m crazy, but I think it’s pretty cool that women get to have babies. I know there’s pain and risk, but sheltering and nurturing a little person as it grows inside you…wow.
I also agree that roles for women over the past 50 years have changed and opened up in a way that they haven’t for men. I seriously doubt that I would catch a lot of flak for wanting to go into a male-dominated field. On the other hand, my husband, who wants to be an elementary school teacher, will have to put up with more shit for going into a female-dominated field.
I don’t think that women have it easier than men by any stretch of the imagination, but I wouldn’t change my sex given the chance.
I think it’d be fun to be an Alpha male. I’d want no part of the metrosexual crap. I’d be big, strong, manly, yet kind to women and children, funny, good looking in a Harley rider kinda way, etc. Just like Roseanne and Dan’s friend Ziggy in a couple episodes of Roseanne.
I don’t know why, that’s just my fantasy if I were to be a man.
I do envy men in a lot of ways, but I guess I’d still be female no matter what. Part of that is probably just my nature, because I am very feminine and girly, etc. But, I also have this bitch thing working for me that would go over better if I was a guy. I could crack skulls and stuff if I was a guy.
I know it doesn’t make rational sense, Anaamika, and I can definitely understand and appreciate why people don’t want to bear or raise children. But it’s fascinating to me, in the same way that contortionists and really great athletes are fascinating. The human body is just capable of some wicked cool stuff.
I’ve also done a fair bit of research in 19th and early 20th century women’s history, and it’s astonishing to me how far women have come since then. No way would I want to be a woman in 1850 or a woman in present-day Afghanistan, but I’m realtively content as a woman in the 21st century U.S.
Give it 2 or 3 more weeks and you’ll probably be feeling better. The first trimester is really the worst part, IMHO.
In regards to other stuff: I don’t really buy the argument that men “have” to work these days. Sure, a childless househusband might raise a few more eyebrows than a woman would in the same situation, but I really can’t see that stay-at-home dads face any worse social criticism than working moms did (and do).
Generally:
In some areas, men have it easier/better. In other areas women have it easier/better. It depends which area you’re looking at, or how you weigh different aspects.
Overall, I feel things are mostly even, though certain areas are crying out for attention.
Even though the laws now say that women can’t be discriminated against in hiring, promotion, or pay, it still happens. Women, on average, make roughly 25% less than men. Out of the top 500 companies, few have female CEOs. The bias against promoting women is far smaller than 40 years ago, but it is still pervasive from the smallest to the largest companies. The fight for women’s equality is not over.
In dating and relationships, I do think we men maintain a slight advantage, even with all the changes that have taken place over the last hundred years or so. There’s just more of a stigma associated with being a single woman than being a single man. On average, women have more to lose by remaining single, both financially and in terms of social status, than men do. Not to mention the fact that women have a reproductive time limit, whereas there’s no real pressure on men who want to have kids to do it before a certain age.
And anyone hitting the reply button right now to tell me I’m full of shit, I’m not talking about you. Maybe none of what I said applies to your life. If you dispute that what I said applies to men and women on average, then the floor is yours.
AskNott, please read the links in my post. While women CEO’s may still be rare, that is due to other factors, not wage inequity. Women have achieved equality in terms of wages in the workforce.
I agree, the fight is not over in some areas. The fight has been won regarding wages, however.
I have thought about this question a lot. Let’s hope my post won’t be too long.
Guys have it easier in more respects than women do.
Guys have the physical strength thing going on. I do a lot of manual labor with my job, so I’m envious of the guys I work with.
Guys get taken seriously. A guy manager will command respect automatically. In heated discussions, a guy is more likely to be allowed to finish his sentence than a woman. Also, a guy is more likely to not be questioned about his choices and decisions. This means that over time, they develop more self-confidence and assertiveness.
Guys are raised and encouraged to know lots of things. Almost all the guys I know are founts of random trivia. They know how machines work and can fix them. They know all the birds, fish, trees, and insects–and can just as easily rattle off the names of all the college and professional baseball, football, and basketball teams. They are intelligent and know they are.
Now, I know women are smart too. However, a “smart” woman has to watch out. She has to worry about coming off too “strong”. If she talks too much about what she knows or has experienced, people will question whether she’s telling the truth. If she makes a mistake or two, then people will use this as evidence of her stupidity while conveniently forgeting all the times she’s been right. It’s been my experience that men are considered intelligent by default. Women have to be extraordinary to prove their salt. And it helps if they are quiet.
Guys can look butt-ugly but it will overlooked if he’s “ok” otherwise. Ugly women who are otherwise perfect will still be ugly women.
Guys generally do not have to worry about their mistakes and flaws reflecting badly on other guys. A guy manager who is a jerk will be judged as an individual. A woman manager who is a bitch will always be that “woman manager”.
Men do not face the subtle and not-so-subtle sexism that still pervades our society. I’m not talking just about discrimation. I’m talking about the little jabs and jokes people throw at one another, that usually involve denigrating a guys “manhood”. Being a “man” is something that is prized and deemed worthy. Being a girl, especially when you are a man, is to be inferior in every way.
But I think women have clear advantages in other areas.
We have emotional freedom. I can cry without being laughed at. I don’t feel pressure to be strong and brave. I don’t feel pressure to know it all or be able to do everything. I can talk about my feelings freely. Guys are much more restricted in “allowable” behavior.
There is gender-role freedom as well. I can wear pants one day, a skirt another. A guy who’s a nurse or a secretary or a pre-school teacher will be laughed at before a female doctor, engineer, or mechanic.
People care for women more. If you get a flat tire on the side of the road, it helps if you have a vagina. People are also nicer to women. They smile at us more. We are less likely to be viewed as suspect.
I’ve edited your reply to highlighting two sentences, in which you make statements of fact. Those statements are probably true, IMO, or at least close to being accurate.
But you seem to think that those two facts prove your conclusions in the remainder of your post. They don’t. There are numerous other explanations, one of which is set forth in MissGypsy’s excellent post. Guys are pretty much forced into having a career (or at least continuous employment). Women can decide to do the same. Or they can decide to be a stay at home mom (if family finances allow). Even if economics dictate that she work, a woman with kids will often select a career or job that doesn’t require CEO hours or travel, but instead allows her to spend some time at home. Even if she just does this while the kids are small, there’s usually a professional cost.
There’s nothing wrong with that - it’s a valid lifestyle choice. But it’s a reality that (a) more mothers than fathers choose that option, and (b) social pressures have something to do with why (a) is true.
I’m a lawyer. I’m familiar with several law firms. All of those employ more male attorneys than female attorneys. But over the last 20 or so years, they’ve hired female new grads just as often as they’ve hired males. Why are there more men at these firms today? Well, some women no longer practice law - they’ve chosen to be full time mothers. Others have taken jobs with corporations, or the government which can be lower paying. Several of these did so because the hours were better, or because they decided to follow a husband who worked out of state. Others have stayed in the law firm world, and do just as well financially as their male peers. But if you took an average, female salaries probably would be 25% less.
(There is a another factor. In the generation before mine, women were small minorities in law school classes. So there aren’t that many 65 year old women attorneys. And it tends to be the older senior partner types that make the most money in the legal world. The flip side of this is that there are few male legal secretaries. Guys just tend not to choose that as a career, even though it can be areasonably well paid position for someone who has little or no formal education beyond high school. So if you factor staff pay in, at a typical law firm, the average male salary will be double what the average female salary is, even with no discrimination, intentional or otherwise.)
I think that’s a byproduct of the fact that in just about every conceivable competition, the average woman doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of beating the average man. That’s why virtually every competition ever held segregates men and women. Even billiards. (I still don’t understand that one.) The disparity really is quite vast. Annika Sorenstam, possibly the world’s greatest woman golfer, played a pickup round with a professional athlete – not a golfer (I think he was a baseball player, but it could have been football) – and she lost. Compare that to the possibility of Tiger Woods losing a pickup round against Mia Hamm. It simply couldn’t happen.
I think it is more beneficial to be a man when concerns of self are involved. (Career, confrontation, combat, competition.)
However, it is more beneficial to be a woman when concerns of others are involved. (Custody, caregiving, childbirth.)
My head friggin’ exploded when I read that and actually thought about it for a second. That would be the coolest thing imaginable. So cool, in fact, that it truly is unthinkable.
I think most of the areas here have been covered. I just have one thought.
As a physics major in college I could get just about any internship I wanted if I was a female. I am constantly seeing scholarships, internships, etc for females (and minorities). It would really help Graduate School admittance too.
Women are more likely to live in poverty, four times as likely to be a widow, slightly more likely to of married, yet enjoy a much longer life span, especially from 60 years up. Cite (pdf).
60 years and up is when the poverty and death of spouse begins to occur, however, which, coupled with me not quite sure of this whole age thing yet, makes me compelled to want to be a dude.
Solidifying my stance is menopause, traditional bias, (negative) societal perceptions, a greater demand for beauty, PMS, hormonal changes, menstrating in general, a less likely chance of being stone cold stupid or amazingly brilliant, breast cancer (more likely to occur yadda yadda), really crappy knees (I love soccer), and finally: dress and bathing suit shopping. Who the hell even designs these things?! Some ladies have small breasts and large hips, large breasts and small hips, nothing large at all, or everything large while looking beautiful in everything but your inferior products, you bastards! Ah, I digress.
Anyways, multiple orgasms and dating incentives doesn’t do anything for me, either. I’m content with being the out-going of sexes while being Single Tingle Tommy at the same time. Being a male is just so easy most of the time, affording a higher possibility of being able to coast through life and dying young. My kind of living.
