# Overheard . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352 "2002-12-17T16:28:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/1 "2002-12-17T16:28:55Z")
Today, 10:28 a.m. Auntie Em’s Coworker (in her office, talking to a client): “But, see, when you’re fasting for _God_, you don’t lose any weight.” What have _you_ learned via “unintentional eavesdropping” lately? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/2 "2002-12-17T17:40:49Z")
Mostly gossip. A former employee here got divorced after two months of marriage. Guy was a jerk…I hope she’ll be okay. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/3 "2002-12-17T18:14:51Z")
There’s nobody else in my row, or in the rows to either side of me, so I don’t get to overhear much. On the other hand, I get to spend a lot of time goofing off… ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/4 "2002-12-17T18:23:43Z")
“The urinalysis came up positive.” I thought one of my research assistants was knocked up (gossip central in this place) but it was just a study subject flunking out of the drug study we’re doing. ---
**Author:** ![malaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@malaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malaka)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/5 "2002-12-17T18:30:17Z")
Overheard at work… The woman in the cubicle next to mine was talking to someone about her rental property. She described grass that was tall enough to partially obscure a rusted out car that was, apparently, sitting on her lot for months. The car was, also apparently, owned by the one-legged man who ran a gay prostitution ring from her property. On and on and on… My imagination is rotting because I have the real world around me. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/6 "2002-12-17T18:34:40Z")
Sadly, I’ve learned that yet another one of my co-workers is a narrow-minded, racist, conservative person who thinks that if you aren’t a good Christian and don’t have a flag sticking out of your ass, you can just “go back to where you came from”. This is why I spend most if my time at work with headphones on. Ignorance is bliss. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/7 "2002-12-17T18:41:53Z")
Sadly, I’ve learned that yet another one of my co-workers is a narrow-minded, racist, conservative person who thinks that if you aren’t a good Christian and don’t have a flag sticking out of your ass, you can just “go back to where you came from”. This is why I spend most if my time at work with headphones on. Ignorance is bliss. ---
**Author:** ![Suspenderzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Suspenderzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suspenderzzz)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/8 "2002-12-17T18:53:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\* > What have _you_ learned via “unintentional eavesdropping” lately? \*\* That one of my co-workers is nuts. She calls her house and leaves messages for the dog(!) on the answering machine: “Hello, Bowser (not his real name)?.. Be a _good_ boy…I’ll be _home_ soon…”. All delivered in this eerie singsong voice with weird emphathes. Mercy, mercy, mercy. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7feea3/32.png) [@PatrickM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickM)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/9 "2002-12-17T19:30:14Z")
I overheard this as I was leaving the movie theater after seeing the new James Bond flick, “Die Another Day.” The guy exiting the theater in front of me turns to his companion and says, “That movie wasn’t very realistic, was it?” Yes, “Die Another Day” stands in stark contrast to every other James Bond movie since 1968, all of which are noted for their strict adherence to realism. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![okielady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/fbc32d/32.png) [@okielady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/okielady)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/10 "2002-12-17T19:33:20Z")
That the girl in front of me really likes the new Missy Elliott song. She must’ve sang it to three of her friends on the phone a few weeks ago. “You know, that song that says ‘Keep your eyes on this ba-bom-ba-bom-bom.’ and then talks about her shaving her cho-cha.” And the guy two seats in front of her gets way too many personal cell phone calls at work. And his phone is so loud it can be heard over half the floor. And that the extremely obese woman on the other side of the floor has a tendency to smell up the bathroom when she’s using it, and it’s not “a poopy smell” either. And that the people talking about her believe they’re going to burn in hell for saying such rude things. (So why say it?) Nothing spectacular by any means. But stuff I wouldn’t have known if I didn’t work here. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/11 "2002-12-17T19:33:54Z")
I heard this a while back, and it made me realize how old I am getting: “Axl Rose? Who the hell is that fat, old queen!” Pretty damn funny, though! 🙂 * * * I told her I wanted to make love to her badly. She said I would have to do better than that. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/12 "2002-12-17T19:55:57Z")
A girl two cubes away was going on and on about _queefing_, of all things. Why she thought it happened to her, what positions seemed to cause it, etc. ad nauseum, all in **stark detail**. After about ten minutes (I’m underestimating, if anything), she finally stopped, and one of the women she was talking to said “Hey Winston! Did you get all that?” (It was lunch-time, and the office was otherwise empty) I said “Yup!” After that incident, the girl was overtly hostile towards me. And while I have nothing against 15-year-old high school dropouts with no morals and filthy filthy sex lives, it was a trial working in the same office with her due to her terrible attitude towards me. It wasn’t my fault she was running her mouth and didn’t know I was there. Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Amazon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Amazon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/13 "2002-12-17T20:30:40Z")
It was amusing to hear, “Don’t even step to that bitch, or I will dominate you ass.” I still use that myself. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/14 "2002-12-17T21:34:54Z")
“There MUST be Christian porn!” – at a party last weekend, spoken in a voice loud enough to carry to the opposite end of the house ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/15 "2002-12-17T22:24:53Z")
Diana spanked Jill’s monkey. I know I know. Jill shouldn’t have a monkey. So either it’s a _real_ one, or she’s AC-DC. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/16 "2002-12-17T22:37:51Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Suspenderzzz \* > \*\* “Hello, Bowser (not his real name)…”_\* I wonder why she wouldn’t use the dog’s real name? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/17 "2002-12-17T22:57:02Z")
On the busride home tonight: Her: “The casket is _still_ in the living room!” (In a very Brodie-like fashion, too.) Me: :eek: I sh\*t you not. Apparently the woman bemoaning this horrible decorating choice has been too lazy to take down her Halloween decorations and put up her Christmas ones. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/18 "2002-12-17T23:06:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*Today, 10:28 a.m. > > Auntie Em’s Coworker (in her office, talking to a client): “But, see, when you’re fasting for _God_, you don’t lose any weight.” > \*\* That’s cause you’re still eating for _yourself_, its God who doesn’t get any mashed potatos. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![stargazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@stargazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stargazer)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/19 "2002-12-18T00:19:18Z")
On a related-but-not-completely-on-topic note, there was once this great .wav file going around my old office. You would email it to someone and tell them to turn the sound up, because the file was really quiet (it wasn’t). They would do so and play the file, which was this guy saying (really loudly, of course): “Hey, everybody! I’m watching porno over here!” That was _hilarious_, going around a cube farm. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352/20 "2002-12-18T00:43:09Z")
“If it weren’t for the horse, I wouldn’t have gone to college.” Thanks to Lewis Black. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overheard/143352.md?page=2)