# Overprotective older brothers

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [October 20, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131 "2005-10-20T19:43:44Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 7\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Cletus\_Hornblower](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@Cletus\_Hornblower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cletus_Hornblower)\
**Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131/21 "2005-10-22T02:37:09Z")

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I am an older brother. For me it was simple - my little sister always knew I’d be there if she needed me. As an older brother, I was well aware of what high school guys wanted, and what they would do to get there. She was certainly free to make her own choices, but if she wanted a “bullshit interpreter”, she could run the lines past me. Also, if she wanted help in making somebody leave her alone, I was by far the better choice than my father.

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**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\
**Post date:** [October 22, 2005, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131/22 "2005-10-22T02:51:24Z")

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> [@roger thornhill](#):
>
> You really said that? Wow! seems a bit John Wayneish…

That’s what older brothers do for their little sisters (especially when they feel kind of bad for treating them so poorly as kids).

Her fiance is a good guy anyway. They’ve already got a child together and he’s a good father… so, I didn’t really need to say much. He understood the meaning and the implication.

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**Author:** ![easy\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/eb8c5e/32.png) [@easy\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/easy_e)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131/23 "2005-10-23T00:09:10Z")

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> [@Seren](#):
>
> I don’t have an older brother, but one of my friends is like this with me. He’s a year older than me and has always there for me, especially when it comes to guys. He gives me advice about what type of man to avoid and is constantly telling me not to rush into things. (To illustrtate: I’ve been out with a guy 4 times now and he hasn’t hugged or even tried to kiss me. My friend thinks this is the right rate for me and would be happy if we didn’t kiss for at least another 6 more dates. :rolleyes: )

Odds are, he acts like this because he wants to date you. I had a lot of male buddies in high school and college and none of them acted that conservative. Quite the contrary, if they noticed some guy was hitting on me, they’d encourage me. Unless the guy was a total creep.

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**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131/24 "2005-10-23T00:38:15Z")

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I don’t have an older brother…

But I do have a protective younger brother. He’s a quiet, skinny, nerd-ish kind of guy, but he knows several styles of martial arts (I don’t pay attention, don’t ask me what the heck it is he knows… he tried to teach me a little one day, but we ended up a giggling mess when I couldn’t hold my balance on wet grass). He never said too much about my choice of men, however, if I looked upset about something one of them was doing, he’d start asking questions that I (thought I) skillfully dodged… then respectfully ask me to give him the word so he could whup some ass with his big stick. (He could do it, too, I don’t know what that stick is called, but the kid’s pretty skilled with it.)

During the time period in which I had a hippy stalker calling me, leaving me notes, sending me cards, and suddenly becoming good friends with my uncle (who he knew in high school, but didn’t bother to get in touch with again until he had a thing for me…) - none of it quite as innocent as it sounds, it was all very creepy - my brother got wind of the whole thing. Again, he appraoched me, asked if the guy was harrassing me, if I could handle it, and said he would kick his ass if I said the word. I said it was okay, I could handle it. He didn’t look very pleased.  
The hippy guy never got beat up… but something seemed to happen behind the scenes shortly after this conversation with my brother. Hippy stalker started to keep his distance and leave me alone… and every time my brother came in to work to talk to me, hippy stalker gave him a wide berth and an awfully wary eye.

Luckily for my husband, li’l bro likes him. Though my husband is a big, strong, teddy bear of a man - _don’t_ underestimate the skinny guy. Dude’s got _skills_. Don’t mess with his sister.

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**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131/25 "2005-10-23T01:41:01Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Odds are, he acts like this because he wants to date you. I had a lot of male buddies in high school and college and none of them acted that conservative. Quite the contrary, if they noticed some guy was hitting on me, they’d encourage me. Unless the guy was a total creep.

I would agree. I was a year older than one of my best girl friends. I was always over protective and encouraging her to go out with guys who would never make a move, and discouraging every other guy she came in contact with. At the time, I didn’t realize my intentions. She’s my girlfriend now. No need for me to be overprotective anymore.

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**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131/26 "2005-10-23T08:33:09Z")

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My sister is four years younger than me. She’s six feet tall, athletic, gorgeous (she’d make a great Lara Croft), highly intelligent, super-confident and utterly immune to bullshit in any form. I never in my life felt the need to protect her simply because I can’t think of anything she couldn’t handle. In fact, I have a feeling that if she ever suspected I thought she needed protection she would gut me like a fish - and rightfully so.

Besides, with the guys she likes to date, there’s little I could do anyway. This is the girl who likes to scuba-dive with seals… and not the kind who balance balls on their noses.

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**Author:** ![Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@Crowbar\_of\_Irony\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crowbar_of_Irony_3)\
**Post date:** [October 23, 2005, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overprotective-older-brothers/327131/27 "2005-10-23T08:35:39Z")

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> [@Seren](#):
>
> I don’t have an older brother, but one of my friends is like this with me. He’s a year older than me and has always there for me, especially when it comes to guys. He gives me advice about what type of man to avoid and is constantly telling me not to rush into things. (To illustrtate: I’ve been out with a guy 4 times now and he hasn’t hugged or even tried to kiss me. My friend thinks this is the right rate for me and would be happy if we didn’t kiss for at least another 6 more dates. :rolleyes: )
> 
> Also, whenever I go out with a guy, my friend stands by his phone in case something bad happens and I need to get out. He even did this once while I was across the country. He knew he couldn’t do anything himself to help me, but he still wanted to be there to talk me through it, I guess. It’s nice feeling like I’ve got a safety line. He’s a good guy.
> 
> Of course, going along with that whole acting like a brother thing, he picks on me and does things specifically to freak me out (like putting a spider on my leg…me, the arachnaphobe). He also has no problem telling me exactly what he thinks of me, good or bad. And sometimes we get really mad at each other and fight, but when it comes to the important things, he’s always there for me.

I just got a strange feeling that you two might made a good couple. Ever thought of that?

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