# overreacting flat neighbours **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2015, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419 "2015-06-25T02:47:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![hamsterloverof2015](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba9def/32.png) [@hamsterloverof2015](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hamsterloverof2015)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/1 "2015-06-25T02:47:04Z")
my neighbour has a serious problem once i got up for a painkiller at 2am my head was pounding and i couldnt take anymore i knew it was late so i tiptoed i got a painkiller and went back to bed she started screaming up at me to "get to my f_ **ing bed she repeated it twice in her rant along with other comments such as she was trying to f** _ing ssleep etc. lastnight i got up to put anti itch cream on because my face burns and itches badly the longer i leave it the worse it gets it was 2.23 am i went to bed but got up again in a hour with a sore stomach she repeated her rant of get to your f\*\*\*ing bec ect only it went on a little longer even though i tiptoed yet again tonight i got up yet again at 2.17am with a sore stomach but used pillows to step on the floorboards still creaked loudly even though theyre carpeted and i tiptoed i feel like i cant do anything in my house without her moaning , screaming , swearing abuse , occasional banging and her talking to my dad about it to try and get me in trouble she moaned at my aunt alot untill she moved out too im a teenager and obviously have some needs i cant have my boyfriend round as much as i would like from fear that she would start screaming again i know i get up late but she never talks to me directly about it , she snores every night loud enough to keep me up sometimes , talks in the close early in the mornings sometimes , gives me nasty looks when she sees me and i dont know what i can do i dont wear shoes indoors or play loud music im normally quiet i used to have a few parties that got out of hand but they stopped well over a year ago i dont play music anymore and am hardly in the house yet everytime i am and get up i get abuse for the tiniest of things i try and talk to my dad about it too but he just says i shouldnt be up that late i sleep at a resonable time but im a light sleeper most of the time , im at the point where i stay at my boyfriends most of the time because when i have a need i dont get screamed at she never does it when my dads in my room to turn off the tv and he walks alot louder than me. any ideas on how to deal with it? i try walking as quietly as i can too so any ideas on how to walk quieter would be great too tanks for reading ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/2 "2015-06-25T03:59:09Z")
Nm. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/3 "2015-06-25T04:07:11Z")
> [@hamsterloverof2015](#): > > . . . im at the point where i stay at my boyfriends most of the time because when i have a need i dont get screamed at . . . Sounds like you have your solution right there. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/4 "2015-06-25T04:07:14Z")
Tell the old bitch to shut the fuck up and leave you alone, wear earplugs, and live with it, that’s life in shared housing. If you’re old enough to be spending nights away from home at your boyfriend’s, you’re old enough to tell idiots to stuff it. And - you should wear earplugs, too. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/5 "2015-06-25T04:09:07Z")
How old are you? That is one of the absolute worst posts I’ve seen in a long time. You can’t punctuate, and you can’t separate your thoughts into paragraphs. Your post is almost unreadable. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/6 "2015-06-25T04:17:44Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > How old are you? > > That is one of the absolute worst posts I’ve seen in a long time. You can’t punctuate, and you can’t separate your thoughts into paragraphs. > > Your post is almost unreadable. I’m still not sure why I bothered, but it clearly left me grumpy enough to leave a grumpy post behind. Still, it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![hamsterloverof2015](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba9def/32.png) [@hamsterloverof2015](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hamsterloverof2015)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/7 "2015-06-25T04:30:38Z")
Im sorry it was almost unreadable , I have a bit of dyslexia so using punctuation like im supposed to is a bit hard for me , im sorry to those that got annoyed by it and to answer the question of what age I am im 17 ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/8 "2015-06-25T04:43:49Z")
> [@hamsterloverof2015](#): > > Im sorry it was almost unreadable , > I have a bit of dyslexia so using punctuation like im supposed to is a bit hard for me , im sorry to those that got annoyed by it and to answer the question of what age I am im 17 Let me correct that for you so you can see what I’m talking about. Being 17 is no excuse for poor punctuation. > [@](#): > > I’m sorry it was almost unreadable. > > I have a bit of dyslexia, so using punctuation like I’m supposed to is a bit hard for me. > > I’m sorry for those who got annoyed by it, and to answer the question regarding what age I am: I’m 17. I’m not trying to scare you away. I welcome you here. Just try a bit harder at proper punctuation. We expect that on this message board. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/9 "2015-06-25T14:09:01Z")
I would stop tiptoing. You want passive agressive? I can give you passive agressive. It would take me several trips to get my glass of water, blow my nose, maybe a few jumpingjacks to loosen up those muscles. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/10 "2015-06-25T14:20:54Z")
She’s unreasonable. That’s unlikely to change. You seem to be doing all you can, to no benefit. The only solution is for one of you to find new housing. I doubt she’s willing to shift flats. So, that leaves three choices: 1. Stay on, and continue to be abused, angry and frustrated. 2. Engage in a passive aggressive war with her, continue to be abused and frustrated. 3. Shift flats. There IS other housing available to you. Move on with your life as an adult, and leave this hot mess behind. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/11 "2015-06-25T14:23:48Z")
I had (repeat, had) a friend for many years who was overly sensitive to noise, any noise, made by her upstairs neighbors. When I lived in apartments and she would visit me, she would sit on the couch and make comments along the lines of “Can’t you HEAR that? You should go up there and tell them to be quiet. How can you stand all that noise?”. The reality was that I was barely aware of the noise that particular neighbor was making. She was clearly just making her way from one room to the next. If you didn’t focus on it, you didn’t really hear it. I’ve had noisy upstairs neighbors before, and that certainly wasn’t one of them. My ex-friend just spent all her time focusing on picking up every sound that came from above instead of going about her own business. She made a lot of peoples lives a living hell by calling the landlord and managing agents (and the police) constantly. When she finally bought a condo (she wouldn’t listen to my opinion that multi-unit building life wasn’t for her and she should buy a detached single family outside of NYC instead), she was filing complaints with the condo board within days of moving in. The sad fact is that there are people like that and there isn’t much you can do about them. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/12 "2015-06-25T14:34:50Z")
Because I had too… _twitch_ > [@](#): > > My neighbour has a serious problem. > > Once I got up for a painkiller at 2am - my head was pounding and I couldn’t take any more. I knew it was late so I tiptoed. I got a painkiller and went back to bed. > > She started screaming up at me to “get to my f_ **ing bed". She repeated it twice in her rant along with other comments such as she "was trying to f** _ing sleep”, etc. > > Last night I got up to put anti-itch cream on because my face burns and itches badly - the longer I leave it the worse it gets. It was 2.23 and I went to bed but got up again in a hour with a sore stomach. She repeated her rant of, “Get to your f\*\*\*ing bed”, etc, only it went on a little longer even though I tiptoed yet again. > > Tonight I got up yet again at 2.17am with a sore stomach but used pillows to step on. The floorboards still creaked loudly even though they’re carpeted and I tiptoed. > > I feel like I can’t do anything in my house without her moaning, screaming, swearing abuse, occasional banging and her talking to my dad about it to try and get me in trouble. She moaned at my aunt a lot until she moved out too. > > I’m a teenager and obviously have some needs. I cant have my boyfriend round as much as I would like from fear that she would start screaming again. I know I get up late but she never talks to me directly about it. > > She snores every night - loud enough to keep me up sometimes, talks in the close(?) early in the mornings sometimes, gives me nasty looks when she sees me and I don’t know what I can do. > > I don’t wear shoes indoors or play loud music. I’m normally quiet - I used to have a few parties that got out of hand but they stopped well over a year ago. I don’t play music any more and am hardly in the house yet every time I am and get up, I get abuse for the tiniest of things. > > I try and talk to my dad about it too, but he just says I shouldn’t be up that late. I sleep at a reasonable time but I’m a light sleeper most of the time. I’m at the point where I stay at my boyfriends most of the time because when I have a need I don’t get screamed at. She never does it when my dad’s in my room to “turn off the tv” and he walks a lot louder than me. > > Any ideas on how to deal with it? I try walking as quietly as I can too, so any ideas on how to walk quieter would be great. > > Thanks for reading. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/13 "2015-06-25T14:37:07Z")
As for my thoughts on your problem - you’ve got yourself a classic ‘neighbour from hell’ there. It’s a shame that your dad isn’t supporting you. Do you have a phone that you could use to record her when she is going off at you? Maybe if you then played the recording to your dad, he’d be a bit more understanding and supportive. Does your Dad own his flat or is he renting? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/14 "2015-06-25T14:37:41Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Because I had too… _twitch_ What did you also have? ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/15 "2015-06-25T14:38:24Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > What did you also have? Hoisted on my own petard! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/16 "2015-06-25T14:51:37Z")
Maybe you should try seeing them as real people rather than two-dimensional characters. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/17 "2015-06-25T15:02:30Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Maybe you should try seeing them as real people rather than two-dimensional characters. Unless they really are two-dimensional characters. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/18 "2015-06-25T15:15:26Z")
Key her car. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/19 "2015-06-25T16:18:53Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > She’s unreasonable. That’s unlikely to change. You seem to be doing all you can, to no benefit. > > The only solution is for one of you to find new housing. I doubt she’s willing to shift flats. > > So, that leaves three choices: > > 1. Stay on, and continue to be abused, angry and frustrated. > > 2. Engage in a passive aggressive war with her, continue to be abused and frustrated. > > 3. Shift flats. There IS other housing available to you. Move on with your life as an adult, and leave this hot mess behind. This. Who is your landlord? I would start by complaining to him/her. It’s BS. Apartment living means you put up with each other and there’s no excuse whatsoever for screaming at 2 am, if it is indeed the situation you describe. I can only imagine what the other apartment dwellers feel. You have a crazy neighbor. #1 option is to move the fuck out. #2 is try to deal with it with your landlord. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419/20 "2015-06-25T16:24:23Z")
So she never screams when your dad walks across the floor, only when you do it… how the fuck can she tell who’s doing the walking? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-flat-neighbours/723419.md?page=2)