# Overreacting or a Classic Case of Anal Retentiveness? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110 "2003-04-25T13:52:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/1 "2003-04-25T13:52:50Z")
Earlier this week, a co-worker and I discovered that the women’s toilets were overflowing. Another co-worker joked with me that I must have clogged it… “What did you do, take a big dump?” Her teasing continued throughout the day. And yet another co-worker has started ribbing me by grunting and straining every time I see him. This is _really_ bothering me. Maintenance’s solution to the overflowing problem was to replace the auto-flushers on each toilet with manual flushers. To make matters worse, both times that I’ve used the ladies room this morning, the toilet won’t flush. I’ve had to tell our administrative assistant TWICE today that the toilets won’t flush. Now I’m really close to tears. I’m **not** PMSing. Imagine yourself in my place. Am I overreacting about the teasing and the plumbing problems? Or am I a classic case of anal retentiveness? ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/2 "2003-04-25T13:55:39Z")
Forgot one option: Or is my reaction justified? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/3 "2003-04-25T13:56:35Z")
Well, it sounds like you’re having to retain _something,_ if the toilets aren’t working. Have you pointed out to your oh-so-humorous-to-the-point-of-harassment co-workers that the toilets are clogged **before** you get there? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/4 "2003-04-25T13:59:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazelle \*…both times that I’ve used the ladies room this morning > > \ > > …am I a classic case of anal retentiveness? Heh, apparently not. I know what you mean though, I’m just a _regular_ guy but people here (SDMB) think I dump 24/7. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/5 "2003-04-25T14:09:20Z")
Hey **Ethy**. Yeah, I pointed that out, even though I figured it wouldn’t stop them from teasing me. Here’s how the conversation went. \*\*“Huh huh huh… What’d ya do, **Gazelle** , take a big dump and clog it up?” “Nope, just discovered it.” “Yeah right,” says the co-worker, swinging a Mr. Henkie (sp?) keychain around, “huh huh huh, whatever **Gazelle** , you sure it didn’t look like this?”\*\* From The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language: Fourth Edition. 2000. \*\*anal-retentive \*\* SYLLABICATION: a·nal-re·ten·tive PRONUNCIATION: nl-r-tntv ADJECTIVE: Psychology Indicating personality traits, such as meticulousness, avarice, and obstinacy, originating in habits, attitudes, or values associated with infantile pleasure in retention of feces. I am very upset by jokes about my toilet habits. Anal retentive? ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/6 "2003-04-25T14:13:02Z")
And yes, I am aware of the juvenile nature of my co-workers. F\*cking idiots. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/7 "2003-04-25T14:44:52Z")
Don’t cry about it!!! ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/8 "2003-04-25T16:00:36Z")
_chuckle_ I don’t think you’re getting the validation you were hoping for! I can see that a joke like that, which isn’t really all that hilarious to begin with, could start really getting old. If it were me, I’d be itching to tell them to just get over it and move on already. I don’t know that I’d be as upset as you appear to be, but it would certainly be sand in my craw at least. So I pick middle ground. Can you find it within to roll your eyes at them and say “grow up and move on”? That’s probably what I’d try. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/9 "2003-04-25T16:09:17Z")
Oh dear. I’m afraid I would be upset about this too. For some reason, bathroom humor _really_ annoys me in the workplace. I don’t know what I might say in this situation … maybe threaten to slap them into next week. In the past I’ve been known to glower and say something like “That _ain’t_ as funny as you think it is.” OTOH if you ignore them maybe they will stop. 🙂 Hope you have a better afternoon! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/10 "2003-04-25T16:20:33Z")
If it really bothers you, ask your co-workers to stop. If they don’t stop tell them you’ll tattle to HR. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/11 "2003-04-25T16:39:33Z")
Keep in mind that among those getting a laugh at your expense is the person who _really_ did it. I say every time someone makes a joke about it, ask them if projection is their way of coping with the guilt. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/12 "2003-04-25T16:59:16Z")
I had a former co-worker who would make jokes about whether or not I had pooped whenever he happened to see me exiting the bathroom. I ignored it once or twice, because I knew he had a small crush on me and that he didn’t have very good social skills with women. Finally, I just told him (in front of the other two young male coworkers for whom he was showing off) that he should seek some therapy for his weird scat fetish and I’d thank him to refrain from speculating on my toilet habits in future, thank you very much. ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/13 "2003-04-25T17:54:14Z")
“Are you grunting because you need to crap, or because that’s what your species considers a mating call?” “Don’t strain so hard, you’ll blow some brain cells and Lord knows you don’t have any to spare.” “Jesus, did you shit yourself AGAIN?!?” “What’s the matter, is the gerbil trying to chew his way out?” “Here’s a hint Einstein; if you have to push that hard, it’s not a fart.” ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/14 "2003-04-25T18:17:57Z")
I love you people; thank you for understanding and for the caring support. The first co-worker dropped it; the second co-worker did his grunt thing this morning… I said, “Please stop doing that; it’s just not funny,” in an angry voice. We’ll see if he cuts the shit out. I feel better this afternoon; I think my “edge of tears” feeling this morning may have been mostly in connection with anxiety over a meeting I had to lead. The meeting is over, it went well… This problem isn’t the end of the world anymore. **Vanilla Toast** , did you have to brainstorm for those or does this stuff just pop up? If it’s answer B, do you offer classes? > [@](#): > > “What’s the matter, is the gerbil trying to chew his way out?” Yeeouch! Scathing! ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/15 "2003-04-25T18:21:16Z")
The teasing seems moronic. Perhaps for an hour or two it would be OK, but beyond that, these people need a life. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/16 "2003-04-25T18:22:39Z")
And a different keychain. ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/17 "2003-04-25T18:26:39Z")
As long as you have been clear that you don’t like this behavior, extended teasing is a form of harrassment in my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/18 "2003-04-25T18:27:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gazelle \* > **Vanilla Toast, did you have to brainstorm for those or does this stuff just pop up? If it’s answer B, do you offer classes?** Hee, thanks, they just kind of pop up. Often at the most inappropriate times… 🙂 As for classes, hrm, sure… I’ll start a thread someday about how to make smartass comebacks… I’m sure there are lots of other folks here who can contribute. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/overreacting-or-a-classic-case-of-anal-retentiveness/171110/19 "2003-04-25T18:55:54Z")
No, don’t cry. That won’t do at all. What you might need to do, since these people sound crude and inconsiderate, is to give it right back to them. Next time they say “What did you do, take a big dump and clog the toilets up?” Reach inside yourself for your inner obnoxious jerk and say something like, “No, that huge thing floating in the toilet said you were its mama.” Then next time they walk by your desk you can say, “waah! Mama!” Childish, but when in Rome…do and say it all with a laugh and a smile, like you’re just enjoying the whole thing. They obviously think that kind of joking is funny, and have no idea it bothers you. Your other option, of course, is to try to say, very calmly, that you’ve had enough and you don’t find that kind of joke very funny. It might work, but then again they may not be that considerate. Your choice. But I found I did much better with people like that when I learned not to take it personally and just throw it back. I don’t think you’re overreacting, but you may need to learn a new set of coping skills for this crew, that’s all.