# OW!... Sonofa... Mother... OW! I think I need some medical attention. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 24, 2001, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893 "2001-08-24T13:14:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/21 "2001-08-24T19:34:47Z")
“hypertrophied lingular papillae” my foot. Everybody knows that it was lie bump. You only get them if you’ve been telling lies and the worst ones come up if you lie to your mother. The cure is simple though, they willl get better if you go ahead and confess whatever you were lying about, especially to your mother. At least that’s what my mom used to say. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/22 "2001-08-24T19:52:07Z")
Huh. Nail clippers, eh? Didn’t think of that. I’m not sure if I could get the right angle on the suckers. I’ve had those before (call 'em “tongue zits” as well), and I pluck them off with TWEEZERS. “Munch, doesn’t that hurt?” “OWW!! DAMMIT, this HURTS!” “Then why do you do it?” “Because it feels so good when I stop.” ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/23 "2001-08-24T21:06:55Z")
**Simetra** , I want you to sit down and actually listen to me for just once, and not laugh hysterically: In my experience, alcohol _does_ have medical uses. Now you and I know each other fairly well, and if the first part of that statement doesn’t have you giggling like a schoolgirl, the second would have you howling. In any case, I get these “tongue zits” occasionally. I don’t care what you call them, but one shot of whiskey or vodka, slowly rolled around the mouth will help numb it and will sort of clean the wound. Roll the shot around your mouth for a few minutes, kind of swishing it over the spot, and then _spit it out_. I don’t know why it works, but it does for me. Give it a try, and let me know. Tripler This is the only time you will hear me say “spit it out” when talking about alcohol. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/24 "2001-08-24T21:25:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > This is the only time you will hear me say “spit it out” when talking about alcohol. I would like to take this opportunity to witness to **Tripler**. My apologies for witnessing outside of GD. **Trip** , my friend, let me tell you what happens when you die. You’re take high, high up into the sky, and all the angels and saints and whoever are up there in heaven, and they have a biiiiiiiig cauldron in which they’ve stored all of the alcohol you’ve spilled, spit out, or regurgitated. They then hang you by your heels and lower you into the alcohol. If you can drink it all, welcome to heaven. If you can’t, then to hell with you. ---
**Author:** ![jellen92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/6bbea6/32.png) [@jellen92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jellen92)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/25 "2001-08-24T21:31:12Z")
Sounds like a kanker (sp??) sore. My only advice is to eat tomatoes and salt 🙂 If that doesn’t make you run 80 mph, nothing will. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/26 "2001-08-24T21:35:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LNO \* > … and they have a biiiiiiiig cauldron in which they’ve stored all of the alcohol you’ve spilled, spit out, or regurgitated. They then hang you by your heels and lower you into the alcohol. If you can drink it all, welcome to heaven. > > If you can’t, then to hell with you. Really? I’m pretty good about my hooch - rare spills, one or two spits, and I never puke. Seems I’ll be buying the boys the first couple of rounds up in heaven, 'cause Lord knows the Devil couldn’t keep up with me. . . Tripler They hang me by my heels? So _that_ explains why angels have their wings! ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/27 "2001-08-24T22:46:41Z")
Another approach that works really well is having a nice girl (you have a secretary, don’t you?) gently rub it off with _her_ tongue. Keep in mind, it _does_ take a while… ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/28 "2001-08-24T23:06:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KKBattousai \* > \*\*(you have a secretary, don’t you?) \*\* Well, you could call her that… 😉 [sub]Serendipity’s gonna kill me.[/sub] Anyway **Trip** , thanks for the advice. \ No really… \ 🙂 Actually, I’ll try that tonight as I’m going over to a “Getting promoted to Mr./Mrs.” party tonight. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LNO \* > \*\*You’re take(n) high, high up into the sky, and all the angels and saints and whoever are up there in heaven, and they have a biiiiiiiig cauldron in which they’ve stored all of the alcohol you’ve spilled, spit out, or regurgitated. They then hang you by your heels and lower you into the alcohol. If you can drink it all, welcome to heaven. > > If you can’t, then to hell with you.\*\* Man… thanks to New Year’s 1996… I am **so** f\*cked. ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2001, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893/29 "2001-08-24T23:39:32Z")
Stephen, dearest, love of my life… What the _hell_ were you thinking? 😉 You performed home surgery with a pair of nail clippers? Oh, sweetheart… I’m sending all of my healing, anesthetic, happy-tongue thoughts your way. (I’m also thinking that I’ll have to pay extra special attention to your tongue when I visit in October. :D) > [@](#): > > [sub]Serendipity’s gonna kill me.[/sub] [sub]Yeah, but only in the Shakespearean sense. 😉 [/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ow-sonofa-mother-ow-i-think-i-need-some-medical-attention/77893.md?page=1)