# Oxymorons

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [February 16, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994 "2000-02-16T22:06:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/1 "2000-02-16T22:06:00Z")

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Fast Food  
Military Intelligence 🙂  
Efficient Government

That’s my offer! Any more?

* * *

VB

I could never eat a mouse raw…their little feet are probably real cold going down. :rolleyes:

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### Author: ![MadPoet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@MadPoet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadPoet)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/2 "2000-02-16T23:50:00Z")

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Microsoft Works

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[http://www.madpoet.com](http://www.madpoet.com)  
Clerks - Just because they serve you doesn’t mean they like you.

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### Author: ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/3 "2000-02-16T23:54:00Z")

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Jumbo Shrimp

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### Author: ![WIGGUM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WIGGUM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WIGGUM)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/4 "2000-02-17T00:01:00Z")

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Oooh ooooh! Here’s more.

Country Music  
Original Copy  
Civil War  
Act Naturally

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### Author: ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/5 "2000-02-17T00:09:00Z")

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Act Naturally  
Crisis Management  
Solo Concert  
Religious Right  
Ice Water  
Foreign National  
Congressional Ethics  
Found Missing  
Pretty Ugly  
Working Vacation  
United Nations  
Suicide Victim  
Instant Classic  
Social Outcast  
Passive Agression  
Science Fiction  
A Six-Ounce Pound Cake

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### Author: ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/6 "2000-02-17T00:10:00Z")

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Scholar-athlete  
Amtrak schedule  
Justice Rehnquist 😉

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### Author: ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/7 "2000-02-17T00:15:00Z")

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There’s a business along BART in the Oakland area with a HUGE sign announcing “Cold Ice.” Um. Yeah…

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[**StoryTyler**](http://sites.netscape.net/storytyler/homepage)  
“Not everybody does it, but everybody should.”

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### Author: ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/8 "2000-02-17T00:26:00Z")

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I’m sick and tired of all of these self-contradictory oxymorons. Can’t we have some non-self-contradictory oxymorons?

P.S. StoryTyler, that’s a _pleonasm_, not an oxymoron.

* * *

An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.

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### Author: ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/9 "2000-02-17T00:28:00Z")

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smart blond  
smart jock  
bittersweet  
devout atheist  
happy ending

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### Author: ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/10 "2000-02-17T00:29:00Z")

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I think “cowboy” is an oxymoron–last I heard, cows were _female,_ and there aren’t many female boys (another oxymoron).

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“If you drive an automobile, please drive carefully–because I walk in my sleep.”–Victor Borge

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### Author: ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/11 "2000-02-17T00:33:00Z")

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Sorry, but “jumbo shrimp” is not an oxymoron.  
There’s nothing self-contradictory about large seafood.

* * *

“What we have here is failure to communicate.” – Strother Martin, anticipating the Internet.

[www.sff.net/people/rothman](http://www.sff.net/people/rothman)

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### Author: ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/12 "2000-02-17T00:51:00Z")

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Libertarian government 😃

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### Author: ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/13 "2000-02-17T01:00:00Z")

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…

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### Author: ![Oblio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c4cdca/32.png) [@Oblio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblio)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/14 "2000-02-17T01:43:00Z")

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Civil Servant  
Contractor Support

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### Author: ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/15 "2000-02-17T02:17:00Z")

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In my case, “happily married.”

And there’s always “government assistance.”

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### Author: ![lvick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d07c76/32.png) [@lvick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lvick)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/16 "2000-02-17T16:46:00Z")

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Hospital food  
Rap music  
Straight dope

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### Author: ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/17 "2000-02-17T16:51:00Z")

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Compassion in Farming  
Great Britian 🙂  
Dutch Courage 😃

* * *

J

I’m a maniac, _a maa-ianac_ thats for sure,  
ANd Im dancin’ like I never did be-foor"  
Groundskeeper Willy

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### Author: ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/18 "2000-02-17T16:56:00Z")

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How about **Irish Luck**?

2-0. Oo-aa-Paul-McGrath my ass 😉

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**Coldfire**

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_ **"You know how complex women are"** _

- Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993)

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### Author: ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/19 "2000-02-17T17:00:00Z")

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Christian Science.

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### Author: ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2000, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oxymorons/13994/20 "2000-02-17T17:13:00Z")

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Cafeteria food.

–  
TMR

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