# Pact with the Devil - How To? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2010, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919 "2010-01-14T11:47:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Radegast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c4cdca/32.png) [@Radegast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Radegast)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/1 "2010-01-14T11:47:33Z")
Based on Pat Roberston’s recent assertions that Haiti’s woes are due to the past pact they made with devil, I was wondering how one goes about doing that, exactly? Wouldn’t it seem that given the number of people in the world, a fairly large number, just taking a very small portion of the world’s population, would be living the high life, raping pillaging burning, etc., with Satan’s protection and assistance? I know several people personally who would be fighting to be first in line to open a vein and sign the Evil One’s contract, were they given the opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![Themenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ee59a6/32.png) [@Themenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Themenin)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/2 "2010-01-14T13:34:05Z")
Well, many years ago, in a land far away - on a dark and stormy night… I was looking to change my luck, picked up the phone and dialled 666. It turned out to be a suicide hotline, so you can imagine how that conversation went. Ok, so Satan’s hotline’s out. Maybe He has an ebay account ? ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/3 "2010-01-14T13:46:08Z")
Step 1: Go Down To The Crossroads Step 2: Fall down on your knees Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/4 "2010-01-14T13:51:10Z")
Facebook, I expect. Or does the devil still use Myspace? ---
**Author:** ![Gustav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Gustav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gustav)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/5 "2010-01-14T13:54:34Z")
If Haiti is to be our example, it would appear Satans protection and assistance isn’t really worth much. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/6 "2010-01-14T15:06:42Z")
Obviously, you set a trap with devil’s food cake as bait. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/7 "2010-01-14T15:12:05Z")
I’d suggest the old standby of a crossroads at midnight but which one is a little out of my depth. Once you figure it out and make your deal let him know I’m interested. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/8 "2010-01-14T15:18:28Z")
> [@Radegast](#): > > Based on Pat Roberston’s recent assertions that Haiti’s woes are due to the past pact they made with devil If it’s the entire _country_, wouldn’t it be more of a _treaty_ with the devil, formally speaking? ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/9 "2010-01-14T15:19:03Z")
If we can use _Supernatural_ as a guide, I think any crossroads will do. You need to bury a little box with some personal items in it, like a photo. Your choice whether or not to boink the demon who shows up. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/10 "2010-01-14T15:24:03Z")
> [@tacoloco](#): > > Step 1: Go Down To The Crossroads > Step 2: Fall down on your knees > Step 3: ??? > Step 4: Profit Think Step 3 requires a guitar. And the appropriate crossroads are located near Clarksdale, Mississippi. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/11 "2010-01-14T15:31:15Z")
Look up “Attorneys” in the Yellow Pages. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/12 "2010-01-14T15:47:10Z")
First of all you would need to not already be lost to him. This eliminates those friends that would be lining up to do the deal. Satan doesn’t pay for what he already owns. ---
**Author:** ![Sinaptics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Sinaptics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaptics)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/13 "2010-01-14T15:47:20Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Think Step 3 requires a guitar. And the appropriate crossroads are located near Clarksdale, Mississippi. Not a guitar, a fiddle. And not Mississippi, Georgia. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/14 "2010-01-14T15:48:13Z")
Go to Georgia, then wait until he’s in a bind because he’s way behind and looking to make a deal. /edit: Too slow AGAIN. Not my day. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/15 "2010-01-14T15:53:11Z")
It’s really pretty easy. You’ll need a black candle, some garlic, some sacraficial wine… No, wait, that’s cheese fondue. Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/16 "2010-01-14T16:03:54Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > No, wait, that’s cheese fondue. Nevermind. Perhaps the Devil likes cheese fondue. If you add enough garlic, that recipe might just work. ---
**Author:** ![Sinaptics](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Sinaptics](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinaptics)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/17 "2010-01-14T16:07:49Z")
I’d check with the Republican senators/congressmen. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/18 "2010-01-14T16:48:14Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > It’s really pretty easy. > > You’ll need a black candle, some garlic, some sacraficial wine… > > No, wait, that’s cheese fondue. Nevermind. Have you ever noticed that the few black candles you find out there are always patchouli scented? ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/19 "2010-01-14T17:12:11Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Have you ever noticed that the few black candles you find out there are always patchouli scented? That’ s because they’re made from hippies and tree huggers. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919/20 "2010-01-14T17:33:38Z")
Can you fiddle? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pact-with-the-devil-how-to/524919.md?page=2)