# Paging fatherjohn ... Paging fatherjohn ... "What would Jesus drive?" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 18, 2002, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253 "2002-11-18T03:15:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/1 "2002-11-18T03:15:26Z")
[Christian group says SUVs are evil, that Jesus would take the bus.](http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,839521,00.html) Why would Jesus care about what we drive as long as we are nice to each other and refrain from nailing people to wood? Do these people think that by attaching religious significance to their insignificant cause they can attract adherents? (_Not just attention._ The Nazis get attention in every history class across the world, but very few new Nazis are in evidence.) Is fuckwicketry really that endemic in the outside world? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/2 "2002-11-18T03:27:39Z")
I’m reasonably sure Jesus would ride a Harley. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/3 "2002-11-18T03:30:54Z")
Jesus would drive a viper. ---
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/4 "2002-11-18T03:33:47Z")
Nah, Jesus would drive a new VW Beetle. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/5 "2002-11-18T03:35:27Z")
I thought it was concluded he drives a Christler? ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/6 "2002-11-18T03:46:09Z")
Whatever he drives, I’ll always wonder what kind of a plastic statue would he have on his dashboard?:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/7 "2002-11-18T03:47:17Z")
Ooooooh! Good one, peepthis! Still shaking my head… ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/8 "2002-11-18T04:31:54Z")
He’s what, 2035 this Christmas? I thought old people drove Cadillacs? ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/9 "2002-11-18T04:43:04Z")
Silly people. Did nobody think to consult the Bible for the answer? I direct your attention to the Gospel of John, whe we learn that Jesus drove a Honda, as he says:“For I did not speak of my own Accord…” ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/10 "2002-11-18T04:57:50Z")
Jesus dug muscle cars. After all, he drove the moneychangers from the temple in a Fury. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/11 "2002-11-18T05:00:18Z")
Someone answered this question for me today when I forgot to accelerate after the light turned green. After much car honking, someone finally leaned out the window and yelled “Jesus Christ would Yugo!” ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/12 "2002-11-18T05:12:15Z")
Jesus Built My Hot Rod. ---
**Author:** ![j\_kat\_251](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@j\_kat\_251](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j_kat_251)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/13 "2002-11-18T05:56:21Z")
Didn’t Jesus also drive them (don’t know which them, maybe the Philistines) out into the desert in His Fury? ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/14 "2002-11-18T06:30:13Z")
Jesus would buy a Mercedes , as his frineds all drive Porsches, and he must make amends. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/15 "2002-11-18T06:43:09Z")
My neighbor is names Jesus and he drives a 98’ Civic with one of thos irritating mufflers on it and blue lights underneath the body. I like the lights but the muffler is fucking stupid. And Jesus uses my parking space all the time. I was outside one night and he was in my space and I saw him go into his house so I went and asked him to move his car and he asked “Why don’t you leave a note?”. I was so pissed all I could think to say was “If you can’t read the fucking number on the space, why would I waste the effort in writing you a note.”. He also playes his stereo way loud and drinks in the parking lot with his friends all the time. I fucking hate Jesus! ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/16 "2002-11-18T06:58:21Z")
Didn’t he ride an ASS into Jerusalem…hhmmm (we still have plenty of those, don’t we) ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/17 "2002-11-18T07:49:49Z")
So, _would_ he wear a Rolex on his television show, then? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/18 "2002-11-18T09:07:48Z")
Jesus would drive a pick-up truck. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/19 "2002-11-18T10:26:08Z")
I THINK, in my not-so-drunken opinion, that Jesus would stick himself in a Harrier and blast the crap out of any motherfucker that messed with him. 'Course, I also believe that Jesus should be played by Samuel L. Jackson… ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253/20 "2002-11-18T11:04:08Z")
I watched _Dogma_ last night, so Samuel L. Jackson sounds good to me! CJ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/paging-fatherjohn-paging-fatherjohn-what-would-jesus-drive/137253.md?page=2)