# Pallbearers: no women need apply?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 19, 2006, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238 "2006-04-19T01:49:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/21 "2006-04-19T15:05:36Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#):
>
> So, get people that can carry 100 lbs. with ONE HAND, at shoulder height for up to two minutes, being led by a semi-drunk priest, and walk over irregular cemetary paths, with potholes and bumps and no place to put the coffin down, and you will have a great candidate for a pallbearer.
> hh
Shoulder height? All the non-military funerals I’ve seen have had the caskets carried around the hip or so.
We had a hard time finding enough male pallbearers for my grandfather’s funeral in January, so I told them that while I didn’t want to do it, I’d do it if the other option was to have strangers do it. Some more guys were rounded up at the last minute and I didn’t have to, but it wouldn’t have been considered outre or anything had I had to do it. (Although my grandfather himself, a very traditional man, might not have liked it.)
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### Author:  [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/22 "2006-04-19T15:30:02Z")
> [@Zsofia](#):
>
> Shoulder height? All the non-military funerals I’ve seen have had the caskets carried around the hip or so.
Really? How interesting. I’ve never _not_ seen the casket put up on the pallbearers’ shoulders (at least to carry the casket between the hearse and the vestibule of the church), and I’ve never been to a military funeral. The maneuvering of the casket up to shoulder height seems to be the most troublesome (difficult) part of the whole procession for many guys, and that’s why I had an even harder time envisioning a lot of women even wanting to try.
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### Author:  [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/23 "2006-04-19T20:36:26Z")
> [@bouv](#):
>
> At my mother’s father’s funeral, my brother, my sister, two of my cousins (one a woman), one cousin-in-law (also a woman) and I were there pallbearers. However, we did not carry it, we just rolled it on a roller thingy. A black cloth went around the top of the roller so it looked nice.
I was under the impression that this is generally how it was done; the casket is carried on a gurney-like cart and the pallbearers walk alongside it. But from reading this thread, apparently that’s not the case.
But then I remember seeing a funeral in a British movie recently in which the pallbearers carried the casket on their shoulders and reached across to hold the shoulder of the man opposite. Is that customary?
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### Author:  [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/24 "2006-04-19T20:48:38Z")
> [@Dewey Finn](#):
>
> I was under the impression that this is generally how it was done; the casket is carried on a gurney-like cart and the pallbearers walk alongside it. But from reading this thread, apparently that’s not the case.
>
> But then I remember seeing a funeral in a British movie recently in which the pallbearers carried the casket on their shoulders and reached across to hold the shoulder of the man opposite. Is that customary?
Well, that was there in the two instances I’ve beared pall. But churches have steps, so that part required carrying, and you still have to hoist the coffin from the cart into the hearse.
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### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/25 "2006-04-19T20:58:44Z")
Well, now that I try I have a hard time remembering exactly how it’s gone at the majority of funerals I’ve been to, but Grandpa this year was definately not on shoulders. (Of course, some of the pallbearers were older men and one was my fifteen year old cousin, and there was a big height difference all around, which may have had something to do with it.) Really, the only funerals I distinctly remember involving shoulders are military funerals, and that’s a whole nother ballgame.
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### Author:  [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/26 "2006-04-19T21:03:51Z")
As **bup** said, the cart thing is there, once you get inside the church, but before and after that point, there are [the steps](http://www.spokesmanreview.com/iraq/images/120303_dead.jpg) to contend with. Even if the casket’s been carried on shoulders to the foot of the stairs, there has to be some careful maneuvering so that the casket remains as level as possible, and that would be tough without the arm strength.
> [@Dewey Finn](#):
>
> But then I remember seeing a funeral in a British movie recently in which the pallbearers carried the casket on their shoulders and reached across to hold the shoulder of the man opposite. Is that customary?
Forgive the use of a pic from John Gotti’s funeral :rolleyes: , but [this is the way](http://www.newsday.com/media/photo/2002-06/3502296.jpg) I’m accustomed to seeing the casket carried on shoulders.
I did notice at my grandma’s funeral that the casket was carried [this way](http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/2004/LAW/12/21/stolen.fetus/story.pallbearers.jpg) from the hearse to the grave, but that was actually handled by the cemetary employees - not funeral home pallbearers, and certainly not my family, since we wouldn’t have been able to field enough physically-capable folks.
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### Author:  [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/27 "2006-04-19T21:23:35Z")
I have seen many caskets carried by handles at waist height similar to the second link in **sunfish** ’s post, but I love it when a casket is carried on just the shoulders.
Too bad nobody in my family gets buried- we are a cremating bunch.
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### Author:  [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/28 "2006-04-19T22:07:28Z")
I’ve done it twice. I’m a medium height woman of unexceptional strength. We put eight cousins around my grandfather’s casket - only two were male. It was tight, it was heavy, but we got him down without dropping him.
The next time I was one of two female pallbearers, they guys bore the majority of the weight. And I’d learned by lesson from the first time and wore flats.
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### Author:  [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/29 "2006-04-19T22:08:38Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#):
>
> I’ve done it twice. I’m a medium height woman of unexceptional strength. We put eight cousins around my grandfather’s casket - only two were male. It was tight, it was heavy, but we got him down without dropping him.
>
> The next time I was one of two female pallbearers, they guys bore the majority of the weight. And I’d learned by lesson from the first time and wore flats.
Oh, at the hips - none of this shoulder stuff - I’ve only seen that done in movies.
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### Author:  [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/30 "2006-04-19T22:22:49Z")
At my grandpa’s funeral my mom was one of the pallbearers, along with her 5 brothers.
They’re all about 6’, 220-250. Mom is 5’2", 130. Suffice it to say, she didn’t actually do a lot of lifting - more like just filling in the 6th spot (the brothers just made up the extra weight).
However, I think if ALL of the pallbearers were mom’s size, there could be problems getting the thing moved.
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/31 "2006-04-19T22:52:10Z")
When my mother-in-law died, and the family was planning the funeral, I had one emphatic suggestion. “When an old person dies, you often see half a dozen doddering old guys struggling to carry the casket. It’s cruel, and it’s dangerous. If you can’t find six young, fit relatives, I will pay to hire six local weightlifters.” They found enough. I, with my bad back, walked behind as an honorary.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [April 19, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/32 "2006-04-19T23:42:22Z")
I’m 5’5" with lousy upper body strength, but I was a pallbearer for my grandmother, and a year later for my grandfather. As long as I can carry with my right arm and wear flats, I’m good.
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### Author:  [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2006, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/33 "2006-04-20T00:18:10Z")
I was a pallbearer for my grandfather’s funeral, and we carried it on our shoulders like in that John Gotti photo. Even though there were 8 of us, and we were all of us fairly stout and/or burly men, the casket was freaking _heavy_.
The weight issue is a minor one, but it’s just one more reason why I’d dearly like to see plain wooden coffins come back into wide usage, rather than these huge metallic monstrosities.
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### Author:  [@sunfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunfish)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/34 "2006-04-20T00:22:32Z")
**yBeayf** , you might like some of the items on [this page](http://trappistcaskets.com/products.asp) then.
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### Author:  [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2006, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/35 "2006-04-20T01:09:44Z")
> [@](#):
>
> I’m 5’5" with lousy upper body strength, but I was a pallbearer for my grandmother, and a year later for my grandfather. As long as I can carry with my right arm and wear flats, I’m good.
Impressive, but all too often, the burden falls on the others. I’ve been a pallbearer several times and, yep, each time I was surprised at the weight. I’m guessing I was lifting about 90 lbs with one arm, sometimes grabbing with both. When someone with “lousy upper body strength”–male or female, old or young–is one of the six/eight pallbearers, it forces the other people to go from, say, 90 to maybe 110-120 lbs. each. Damn, that’s heavy!
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### Author:  [@yBeayf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yBeayf)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2006, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/36 "2006-04-20T01:13:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> yBeayf, you might like some of the items on this page then.
That’s some quality woodworking.
The whole American insistence on embalming and hermetically-sealed caskets and burial vaults is just bizarre. Cremation and burial in a biodegradable coffin with no embalming are perfectly fine ways to return a body to the earth. I just don’t see the appeal of sealing one’s loved ones in an airtight space to slowly liquify.
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### Author:  [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2006, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/37 "2006-04-20T02:54:40Z")
I had the opportunity to be a pallbearer for my father’s funeral. I have 5 siblings, so it would have worked, but I, to my eternal embarrassment, burst into hysterical tears at the notion and the suggestion was scrapped.
Anyway, Dad’s brothers were his pallbearers. The just had to guide the wheelie cart, though.
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### Author:  [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/38 "2006-04-20T14:28:27Z")
Traditionally, even if you disregard notions of height, strength and propriety, you’re talking about women who might be wearing large bustles or hoop skirts and tight corsets. You also might be talking about women who were either pregnant or breastfeeding.
I just don’t think a pre-20th century female pallbearer would have been practicable.
Now though…well, if that’s what the family wants, I don’t see why not.
Not something I’d do though.
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/39 "2006-04-24T04:29:48Z")
As for the waist-or-shoulder-level carrying question, I seem to remember the British military men (and they were all men - Royal Marines?) who carried Princess Diana’s coffin had it on their shoulders, and grasped the backs of the men next to them. A better way to share the weight, I guess.
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### Author:  [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pallbearers-no-women-need-apply/353238/40 "2006-04-24T07:23:04Z")
> [@Elendil's Heir](#):
>
> As for the waist-or-shoulder-level carrying question, I seem to remember the British military men (and they were all men - Royal Marines?) who carried Princess Diana’s coffin had it on their shoulders, and grasped the backs of the men next to them. A better way to share the weight, I guess.
Plus they had eight pallbearers, not six: [picture of funeral](http://abc.net.au/news/features/img/Artsblog/diana.jpg).
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