# Pan-fried Semen
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460
**Category:** Factual Questions
**Created:** [July 18, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460 "2003-07-18T20:03:24Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Guybud5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guybud5)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/1 "2003-07-18T20:03:24Z")
Hey folks… Remember the Cecil column about the comparison between semen and egg white?
Well, it started me to a-thinkin’…
What would happen if you fried semen in a pan?
Would it solidify like egg white?
Would sit sizzle and pop, and evaporate, leaving sticky resin?
I would try the experiment myself, but my wife would at the very least kick my ass, and at worst… well, lets not go there.
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### Author:  [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/2 "2003-07-18T20:13:11Z")
Hell, I ain’t got no wife. I’ll let you know.
Peace,
mangeorge
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### Author:  [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/3 "2003-07-18T20:23:36Z")
Remind me never to eat an **mangeorge** ’s house.
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### Author:  [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/4 "2003-07-18T20:42:57Z")
This is the funniest thing I think I’ve ever read **mangeorge** and **Q.E.D.**.
Be sure to let us know how it goes, though.
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/5 "2003-07-18T20:43:18Z")
Semen Beaters?
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### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/6 "2003-07-18T20:50:09Z")
\*Masturbate, masturbate,
Guybud man;
Shoot your semen,
Into a pan;
Heat it, saute it,
And mark it with pee,
And there will be enough
For everyone but me. \*
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### Author:  [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/7 "2003-07-18T20:55:41Z")
Ah, Cole Porter…
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### Author:  [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/8 "2003-07-18T21:32:41Z")
I just had to read this one didn’t I ?
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### Author:  [@Jake4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake4)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/9 "2003-07-18T21:33:03Z")
Just came across this recently…
[http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/L16651567.htm](http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/L16651567.htm)
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### Author:  [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/10 "2003-07-18T21:52:11Z")
Good. Nobody “beat” me to it.
It just turns brown and reduces a lot.
Here’s what I [found](http://www.jackinworld.com/library/science/semcomp.html) when I analized the sample.
'Scuse me, I’m still a little shaky.
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### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/11 "2003-07-18T22:03:29Z")
Can I lick the bowl?
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### Author:  [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/12 "2003-07-18T22:41:51Z")
Christ. You really can get any question answered here, can’t you?
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### Author:  [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/13 "2003-07-18T22:52:22Z")
Anyone wanna look up the etymology for “omelette”? You’re in for a pleasant little surprise.
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### Author:  [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/14 "2003-07-18T23:00:11Z")
You’ve got some huevos there, my friend.
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### Author:  [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/15 "2003-07-18T23:00:42Z")
Never mind…
I always thought “omelette” was related to “hommelette”, or _little man_. Turns out they’re just homophones (hommephones, perhaps?).
Carry on.
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### Author:  [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/16 "2003-07-18T23:04:54Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mangeorge \*
> … **when I analized the sample** …
You meant analyzed, right?
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### Author:  [@newcrasher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcrasher)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/17 "2003-07-18T23:05:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by mangeorge \*
> \*\*Good. Nobody “beat” me to it.
> It just turns brown and reduces a lot.
> Here’s what I [found](http://www.jackinworld.com/library/science/semcomp.html) when I analized the sample.
> 'Scuse me, I’m still a little shaky. \*\*
Perhaps you had the heat on too high.
Also, did you butter the pan? You want some sort of grease so that the jism won’t stick to the pan…teflon is good, but not THAT good.
So back to the kitchen with you…a tablespoon of butter…lower heat…
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### Author:  [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/18 "2003-07-18T23:37:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TWDuke \*
> \*\*You meant analyzed, right? \*\*
I _said_ I was a little shaky.
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### Author:  [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)
#### Post date: [July 18, 2003, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/19 "2003-07-18T23:59:41Z")
If you’re going to analize it, I’d let it cool down first.
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### Author:  [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)
#### Post date: [July 19, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/20 "2003-07-19T00:03:18Z")
If I post something now, I’m guaranteed to appear in _Threadspotting_.
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