# Pan-fried Semen **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 18, 2003, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460 "2003-07-18T20:03:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/21 "2003-07-19T00:04:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mangeorge \* > \*\*Good. Nobody “beat” me to it. > It just turns brown and reduces a lot. > Here’s what I [found](http://www.jackinworld.com/library/science/semcomp.html) when I analized the sample. > 'Scuse me, I’m still a little shaky. \*\* Oh, thank God. I’ve been sitting here for about 5 minutes wondering if I should click on that link. I thought it might be a picture of the frying process. phew. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/22 "2003-07-19T00:58:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by furt \* > \*\*If I post something now, I’m guaranteed to appear in _Threadspotting_. \*\* ooh, ooh me too!!! ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/23 "2003-07-19T00:58:04Z")
I should bookmark that link as support for the “but honey, It’s good for you!” speech. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/24 "2003-07-19T02:07:51Z")
Now you need to work out whether this whole process is nutritionally worthwhile, i.e. is the number of calories required to, ahem, produce and cook your dinner exceeded by the number of calories in the final product? In other words, i want to know how many Weight Watchers points are in this meal before i incorporate it into my diet. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/25 "2003-07-19T02:27:14Z")
What did it smell like? I’m guessing bleach. Happy ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/26 "2003-07-19T03:13:11Z")
> [@](#): > > I always thought “omelette” was related to “hommelette”, or little man. Turns out they’re just homophones Not any more they’re not. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/27 "2003-07-19T03:20:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mhendo \* > \*\*Now you need to work out whether this whole process is nutritionally worthwhile, i.e. is the number of calories required to, ahem, produce and cook your dinner exceeded by the number of calories in the final product? > > In other words, i want to know how many Weight Watchers points are in this meal before i incorporate it into my diet. \*\* Clearly it isn’t. The energy to produce the semen can’t be less than is actually contained in it. And the process of _ahem_ extraction uses up more energy still. It would be like trying to power a lamp and a TV by using a solar cell to collect the light from the lamp. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/28 "2003-07-19T04:18:19Z")
Go ahead. Make funny. You didn’t have to listen to millions of tiny screams. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/29 "2003-07-19T04:52:48Z")
“Go back! It’s a hand job!” --from The Tale of Sammy Sperm (traditional) ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/30 "2003-07-19T06:47:17Z")
Once again I am compelled to assert the superiority of this message board above all others. So it didn’t fry up. Maybe we could make a meringue instead. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/31 "2003-07-19T07:38:43Z")
Thank you very much for putting an ugly picture in my mind whenever I hear the term head chef from now on… ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/32 "2003-07-19T10:02:45Z")
I saw a Butthole Surfers video once (actually I think is was a short feature on them on MTV’s/IRS’s _The Cutting Edge_) way back when). Anyway the experiment in question was conducted by Gibby Haynes and the result was that the semen boiled up and then solidified into the word SATAN. Of course, not everyone can summon the Seed of Satan like that (sorry, **mangeorge**!). ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/33 "2003-07-19T10:11:31Z")
My girlfriend and some of our mutual female friends thought it would be funny if they got some guys together and try making an omlette this way. ---
**Author:** ![parlo\_americano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b19c9b/32.png) [@parlo\_americano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/parlo_americano)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/34 "2003-07-19T12:07:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > \*\*Clearly it isn’t. The energy to produce the semen can’t be less than is actually contained in it. And the process of _ahem_ extraction uses up more energy still. It would be like trying to power a lamp and a TV by using a solar cell to collect the light from the lamp. \*\* But what about if the diner in question is not the source of the spermlette? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/35 "2003-07-19T13:09:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Q.E.D. \* > \*\*Clearly it isn’t. The energy to produce the semen can’t be less than is actually contained in it. And the process of _ahem_ extraction uses up more energy still. It would be like trying to power a lamp and a TV by using a solar cell to collect the light from the lamp. \*\* I did consider that, but people mentioned using butter in the frying process, which would add something to the meal. But i still think you’re right. There’s a diet plan for you: “Eat and wank your way to a slimmer, trimmer body.” ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/36 "2003-07-19T13:10:39Z")
Afterthought: Maybe it would be the Onan Diet. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_great_unwashed/32/4791_2.png) [@The\_Great\_Unwashed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Unwashed)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/37 "2003-07-19T13:56:02Z")
“How do you want your ‘omelette’?” “Oh, as it comes.” ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/38 "2003-07-19T19:24:46Z")
Omigod. I have been eating omelettes nearly every morning on Atkins. And now… …now as I crack my eggs, all I will be able to think of is someone wanking into a frying pan and sauteing their joy juice. Goodbye omelettes. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/39 "2003-07-19T19:54:26Z")
You never thought about that before? What the hell do you think an egg _is_, fer crissakes. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2003, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460/40 "2003-07-19T20:05:17Z")
A few years ago I mentioned to the members of my friend’s co-ed dorm one of the many figures found on the Internet concerning the caloric content of semen. This immediately led to a calculation of how many “servings” would be required for a 2000-calorie diet. The conversation went south fast. It’s probably the only time in history college-aged males have fled screaming at the mention of a kegger party. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/pan-fried-semen/189460.md?page=3)